iron. (nikolai)

[Nikolai Boryenko]

Nikolai's curiosity pushed him into asking the question. It was also another way for him to lead another vibration from her vocal chords that made Nikolai's ears dance when they caught wind of her angelic voice. He also loved hearing the way she said things. She always kept him guessing. Would it be another part of their jokes? Would it be a mysteriously alluring answer? Would it be a deep and knowing answer that made Nikolai's heart feel in beat with hers? He never knew and he loved that.

"You'll see."

Her answer was a mysteriously alluring one as she so enjoyed doing to Nikolai. He felt as if she was baiting him into her trap. But he would gladly fall into it if it were, but he knew she had no ill plans for Nikolai. She had told him she had an apartment where she had been staying for a little while. His interest and curiosity of this new place started to go through his mind and the two lovers walked hand in hand.

The surroundings were as expected. The barren land held no inhabitants as they were all of working or at war with the enemy. Nikolai's eyes scanned the area. They looked over all of the small areas he knew he could fit into if he needed to hide and take a firing position. His training never left him; even in these situations. Odd how you can train someone or something so well that they see the training wherever they go from then on in life.

The two lovers were en route to an apartment building. A nice place to live, much nicer than what Nikolai had always lived in. Nikolai was a simple man, born and raised. The only skill he held above his peers was his acute ability to read. His mother used to buy him a book every year for his birthday. His favorite and the last book that his mother ever bought him was Eugene Onegin. He always loved deep reads that lead him to think on after he was done reading.

Once at the apartment building, Nikolai saw what would be a well kept garden and a large gray building with multiple stories. Once inside, there was a very plain living room where there was nobody to be found. Russia was empty of its natives as expected. even the front desk was empty. Odd.

Nikolai let Ivana's soft hand lead him to the second floor where he assumed her room was. After walking a little ways down the hallway, the two stopped. She let go of his hand and fumbled about for a few seconds. She then picked up a key and unlocked the door with the number 105 in metal on the it. She stepped into the room and Nikolai followed her in.

"Here we are, I know it is not much, but it is larger than the motel room."

He looked around, taking in all that there was. He walked behind Ivana and grasped her coat lightly so she could take it off with ease. Nikolai then took his own coat off and hung it on the coat rack near the door.

"It is very nice Ivana." He said with a smile as he looked around.

He was unaccustomed to the niceties that this apartment had. The motel they stayed in the night before was the best he had ever had, which was saying very little. The apartment was warm and had plenty of room. Plenty of room was another thing he had never known. He shared his bedroom with both his brother and sister growing up. It was tight living space, but it was better than sleeping in a tent or under the cold winter stars. When it was summer, Nikolai and his brother Yuri would often go to their secret fishing spot and camp there for a few nights. Nikolai missed those nights.

"So, my love, where did we leave off?" Nikolai said with his hands in his pockets, leaning up against the wall. A playful grin touched his lips as he looked at the fair Russian with a raised eyebrow.

[Ivana Dimionva Kuznetsova]

The smell of settled dust and sunlight blended in with the faint wisps of lavender perfume. It held a tender smell of her presence and the effects of time on the bitter hardwood floors. The compliment brought a tender smile upon her face, it was never tiring to hear Nikolai's masculine accent- whether it was a pure compliment or otherwise, just his voice alone brought a subtle peace amidst the gunfire. With swift movements, her lover's hands worked on her overcoat, exposing her dark green dress. Once the wool was removed from her pale skin, her fingers adjusted her flowing brunette locks and cool, golden locket around her neck. With a brush of her fingers on the metal, a tiny smile tickled her plump lips.

"It is very nice Ivana."

In that moment, the spy shifted her attention to her lover, catching his smile. 

"Thank you."

Ivana returned his gesture, running her soft fingers on her flowing dress. It was an enjoyable sight to behold, how much curiosity and awe truly rest behind the veneer of a hardened soldier. Just his childlike wonder alone brought the colors of happiness over her waters. 

"So, my love, where did we leave off?"

With just a snap of fingers, the childlike curiousness melted into a passionate want. He held a playful smirk and a relaxed stance on the wall, lazily placing his hands in his pockets. Ivana could not help but to bite her bottom lip, it was an unsung sensuality that seemed to have radiated from him and his question. 

"Well it all depends, my love... Where do you want to pick back up?"

The spy slowly began to close the distance between their bodies, the dull clicks on her heels echoed on the hardwood, her eyes casted upon his body and face, drinking in the euphoria of experiencing all of him once more. Once Ivana closed the distance with her soft warmth, her fingers took no wasted time trailing up his chest, feeling his muscle beneath the fabric. With fluid yet graceful movements, she began to unbutton a few buttons on his shirt, exposing his chest, dogtags, and rosary that clung to his neck. For a moment, her hazel eyes inspected the tags further, once she saw his commanding rank a leap was felt within her.

"I have heard and read a lot of stories about you Nikolai, many people adore you and desire to learn more about this avid sniper... but very few can claim that they know the man behind the battlefield, and I am grateful to be one of those lucky few."

Ivana's eyes rested on the metal while she spoke, trailing up to meet his in its own kiss once her words softly trailed into the sea. All that she uttered was from her heart, the spy was grateful that she met this man, that the angels resting above placed Nikolai in her life. With a quivering smile she caught the stars of his gaze for a while longer before closing in to his lips- but she paused just a breaths away.

"Show me how much you love me, I want to feel how deep your passion lies."

She whispered tenderly, tracing his lips with her soft fingers awaiting his response with baited breath. 

[Nikolai Boryenko]

"Thank you."

Her manners were as normally expected, but something that he had not heard in quite some time. Normally when Nikolai spoke to someone they either shrugged past him or gave him a malicious smirk and told him to piss off under their breath. Nikolai wasn't about to get used to the kindness of all these people, but it was a nice change as opposed to his life in the field.

Before his hands slipped into his pockets, he glimpsed his watch. 1450. The time had gone so fast since he had been with Ivana. He felt as if he had just met her acquaintance in the ratty little pub that held such an odd name. The memory returned when he had first seen the fullness of Ivana's light face. He remembered how perfect the lighting in the dingy bar had been. It made it so Nikolai could trace every feature of her face with his eyes. He'll never forget the first words she spoke to him.

"I think you may have forgotten this, picked it up when I saw you drop it."

All business, then turned into a little more than business.

His young man's curiosity turned into a different kind of curiosity. One that suited a lover. He spoke with a devious smirk on his lips and she responded with a subtle and sensual bite of her lip. His smirk widened as her lips moved and she made her way towards him slowly; making him wait.

"Well it all depends, my love... Where do you want to pick back up?"

Her feminine fingers ran up his chest and made their way to his shirt buttons. Her movements were slow and accurate. Her eyes followed each movement she made. He then saw something change in her eyes. His dog tags were out as well as his rosary that passed to him from Yuri. She must have seen the scar that trailed from his bottom rib to the middle of his chest. Although he expected her to have already seen it last night. She then spoke softly.

"I have heard and read a lot of stories about you Nikolai, many people adore you and desire to learn more about this avid sniper... but very few can claim that they know the man behind the battlefield, and I am grateful to be one of those lucky few."

Nikolai listened to her words. Speaking about him as if her were some kind of great war hero that had killed hundreds and freed thousands. Perhaps the newspapers and pamphlets were writing that about him. He never paid any attention to the propaganda that was being put out to the masses.

"The people of Russia are mislead. They are scared and need someone to look to so they make tall tales of people like me and Comrade Zaitsev. hey need real heroes, not me." Nikolai was a very humble man. He had a job and he did it. He got paid to kill Nazis and keep his brothers alive. He did not get paid to be some kind of propaganda icon for the Russian people.

"The newspaper paints me as a man of legend, I suppose. I hope their tall tales don't disappoint you. He smiled as he spoke these words to lighten the mood and bring about more of their banter.

She drew closer, her breath tantalized his lips as she spoke.

"Show me how much you love me, I want to feel how deep your passion lies."

She touched his lips softly with her fingers. The feminine touch made him smile and pull her closer to him.

"Anything you would like in particular?" He said as he gripped her legs and lifted her up and kissed her deeply. He planned to make this a most memorable occasion.

[Ivana Dimionva Kuznetsova]

Ivana's soft motions continued to trace over every part of his skin, her fingertips traced over a raised line of paler flesh, for a moment a slight frown trailed over her features, but it quickly was replaced with a slightly curious emotion. This was not the first time she glimpsed the scar, but just the disfiguring sight of it caused some inkling of sorrow to bubble inside her. Curiosity beckoned her to inquire about the mark, but that would come at a passing time- if only her words would form such a question before her departure. 

"The people of Russia are mislead. They are scared and need someone to look to so they make tall tales of people like me and Comrade Zaitsev. hey need real heroes, not me."

Ivana listened to every drop of language that feel from his tongue, of course her mind would strictly protest against his words, arguing that he was a hero, but instead the words remained flowing on her tongue and her fingers grazed the scar more. 

"The newspaper paints me as a man of legend, I suppose. I hope their tall tales don't disappoint you."

Her eyes trailed to his lips, another one of his smiles- his attempt to patch up the numbing situation with that contagious smile. The spy returned a weak one as she saw through the banter covering. 

"The stories in the newspapers do not disappoint me, they gave me hope for one- a peace of mind, but I see you as a hero; even if you lack the sight in yourself."

Her words rang in its familiar tone, her smile now holding onto a stable foundation. Her fingers now trailed up to his soft lips, those lips that she could never get over. Ivana released a tender giggle as Nikolai drew her body close to his. She knew that come tomorrow morning this would only be a memory, this would only be a thought her brain desperately clung onto until they meet again. 

"Anything you would like in particular?" 

That was the question he posed before his strong hands hoisted her up; she complied with the movement with a smile on her lips as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, her slender fingers finding refuge in his black locks. Before she could answer, he took her breath with a deep, loving kiss. Ivana melted into the gesture for a drawn moment, tasting every part of the Russian before pulling back, nibbling a bit on his bottom lip.

"Only you my love."

The spy spoke with a hushed whisper, tickling every part of his senses before closing the space between their lips once more for a longer lip lock. 

[Nikolai Boryenko]

Words could not describe the feelings he was having in this moments. His senses were overwhelmed as the woman teased him with her feminine allure. It made Nikolai want her even more. Everything she did made his drive for her grow.

"The stories in the newspapers do not disappoint me, they gave me hope for one- a peace of mind, but I see you as a hero; even if you lack the sight in yourself."

Nikolai smiled as he touched his forehead to hers. This woman barely knew him and she was telling him that she saw him as a hero. Hero. Nikolai shrugged at the title. The real heroes were the men that would never see their loved ones again; not the ones that had notches in their bayonets and the stocks of their weapons. The other heroes were the ones that stayed behind after their loved ones left; whether by distance or death.

"You're very intelligent, so I'll take your word." He said as he held her slender back.

"Anything you would like in particular?"

He said as he picked her up. Her body responded before she did as she wrapped her legs around his torso and draped her arms around his neck. Her fingers moving through his military cut hair. He gave her a little more when his lips met hers in a deep kiss. She seemed very resistant to stopping, but she gave a breath so she could answer.

"Only you my love." She said in a seductive whisper.

"I'm all yours." Nikolai said, matching her tone.

***

He laid here looking at a few divots in the ceiling. His arm was draped around Ivana's frame, holding her close to him. There was not any other place he wanted to be. This is what his father spoke of when he told him about finding his other half one day. Nikolai could not fathom the sadness his father felt when his mother passed. He could not imagine being with someone and loving them for so long and then losing them with nothing left behind but their memory and a small wooden cross to visit and talk.

Nikolai let his hand wander along the curves of the young woman's back. He was starting to think. Always a dangerous thing for soldiers to think without orders. But he did so. He let his curiosity run wild with what his future would hold. There were endless possibilities he assumed. Only God knew, but he liked to think that he had a long future with Ivana. A long future filled with joy and love. He hoped that she felt the same way. She had said she did, but people say things when they are in the moment that they don't particularly mean.

His mind ran freely through fields of thoughts. He was contemplating his feelings towards Ivana. He enjoyed her company, was physically attracted to her, knew she had a brilliant mind, but there was another feeling that he couldn't quite place.

"Ivana," He started softly. "How would you describe love?"

Nikolai left his mind a blank slate; ready to let Ivana's description fill his mind. He had never loved another woman before. He loved his parents and siblings, but this was a different kind of love. He was curious to see if Ivana's description held any kind of link in their relationship.

He listened to Ivana's response closely. His heart started to beat a little bit slower as the soothing sound of her voice waltzed around in his head.

[Ivana Dimionva Kuznetsova]

The concoction of deep realism and loving kindness left a strange stir inside her. It was not a bad feeling, but it was an acute sharpness that let you know that it existed. Since falling hard for the wandering solider, Ivana has truly never been the same, and never will- it only took those sliver of hours to tear down the walls she built around her beating muscle brick by brick. Yes she deeply loved the man around her grasp, exhibiting mannerisms that would cast a blush on both their cheeks a week ago. A week ago. During that time Ivana was making her way back to the USSR, dodging checkpoints under Ingrid Stelar, her mind woven elaborate webs of manipulation and deception to coin her frame back into the Motherland. Three days ago, Ivana was pulling into the rail station pondering on what other assignment the GRU would taint her waters with. A day ago, she held a one-track mind, giving this mole the booklet and be on her way; twelve hours ago she was wrapped in the sheets speaking of passion in a seedy motel. Now, her limbs are wrapped around flesh and bone of the man who was a complete stranger just a week ago, not even thought into physical existence beyond the papers and legendary stories. 

"You're very intelligent, so I'll take your word."

He did not truly acknowledge her words, she could tell by the tone of his voice and the silent shrug he slipped in. Ivana did not desire him to believe her words because of her intelligence, she wanted the words she spoke to ring beyond the bundle of nerves packed by gray matter. But the spy took his words as they were, not pressing upon the issue any further. With the touches of his hands trailing over her slim back, her spine arched inward causing her to press further into Nikolai's larger frame. 

"I'm all yours."

A small smile laced with unspoken seduction traced her full lips, while her hands continued to wander.

*

She was still experiencing remnants of the euphoria moments ago, her pale starkness still dewy and heartbeats attempting to slow its pace. Ivana buried herself in the embrace of her lover next to her. 
Ivana was trapped in the limbo of surrendering to sleep and remaining awake for awhile longer. Once her mind began wandering her eyes remained sluggishly alert while her tender fingers traced the outline of his scar. The golden locket remained around her neck, slumping off to one side. The locket, that old woman- thoughts on who she was and why a divine piece of jewelry was given to her, it was a mystery that confused both the spy and her lover. 

"Ivana, how would you describe love?"

Nikolai's soft yet robust voice cut through the silk of her thoughts, posing an question that held so much indescribable contexts that it would be nearly impossible to explain, but she paused for a moment, searching for the right words on how she truly would describe love.

"Well love is indescribable to me, indescribable on how I feel when I am with you- those moments we shared, how open and willing we were to tear down walls that life and war built around us. Love is indescribable because it is so, wild- it's like one moment you are talking about names and the next, you are describing the unseen future cuddled next to a heart that beats in the same tune as your own. Love is just that warm feeling you get that you can not explain, but your soul and body understands what your mind can not."

Ivana spoke with equal tenderness, baring a smile on her lips as with each word her heart quaked with the personal experiences stored in her memories. 

"It is just an open book, where you share each stroke with passion and emotion on every page."

Her words continued to flow, her tone hinted on her own handwriting finding refuge in the bent folds of Nikolai's journal- tucked away to remain as long as he permitted.

"What about you, what does love mean in your words?"

Her lips traced the question back to Nikolai, she wanted to know what was floating through his mind. Ivana angled herself so she could catch his handsome face, each line and muscle that spoke of emotions that they probably never knew existed prior to these moments. 

[Nikolai Boryenko]

Waiting. She paused as she gathered her thoughts. Nikolai was eager to hear what she had to say about this subject. He wanted to see what kind of secrets the female mind and more importantly Ivana's mind held on the tender subject of love.

When he heard Ivana inhale, Nikolai closed his eyes so he could focus on her words and her words alone. He let his mind hinge one every word and grasp each syllable with understanding. The darkness surrounded Nikolai's sight. His senses were heightened by closing his eyes. He heard her breathing more crisply; smelled her perfume stronger than before. Her velvety soft voice began and Nikolai's ears pricked and danced when they were greeted by such sweetness.

"Well love is indescribable to me, indescribable on how I feel when I am with you- those moments we shared, how open and willing we were to tear down walls that life and war built around us. Love is indescribable because it is so, wild- it's like one moment you are talking about names and the next, you are describing the unseen future cuddled next to a heart that beats in the same tune as your own. Love is just that warm feeling you get that you can not explain, but your soul and body understands what your mind can not."

Nikolai was speechless. It was the most beautiful explanation of something that could not be explained he had ever heard. He smiled during her definition often. The words that she spoke made his heart throb when she spoke of such feelings. His heart had been hardened for so many years now that he was almost in shock that it was broken so quickly and easily by a young woman whom he had not even known two days prior.

"It is just an open book, where you share each stroke with passion and emotion on every page."

He let his eyes open and gaze at the ceiling once more. Her words made him smile as she made the analogy. It reminded him of when he had asked her to write the book of their lives with him. His eyes looked down at her and his hand rubbed her pale shoulder lightly. He wished he could just go forward; past the war and live the rest of his life with Ivana like this. Exploring each other's minds and finding out what perspective the other held.

"What about you, what does love mean in your words?"

After she had posed the question back at Nikolai, she shifted her body so she could look into his eyes as he spoke. He looked into her deep hazel eyes and smiled as he contemplated for himself. He then looked at the ceiling again. He thought for a good few seconds before his thoughts were pieced. He gathered his thoughts all up and began to speak from the connection of his heart and mind.

"Love starts with accepting the person as who they are and what they bring with them. It then goes on to let them help mold you and make your journey a joy rather than sorrow. To have someone to be with; to talk and to listen. Then at the end it is ending your journey; feeling as you did in the beginning but being able to look back and say to the one with you and say, 'I'd do it all again, as long as you would.'"

Nikolai then looked at Ivana and smiled in his boyish grin. "That would be a simple man's way of putting such an amazing emotion into words." His joking grin then turned into a soft smile as he stroked the spy's dark brunette hair. He looked into her hazel eyes and gave a genuine smile. His eyes held no contempt and no guile.

"I wouldn't change a thing about you, Ivana. Not a single thing."

[Ivana Dimionva Kuznetsova]

Her words slipped out of her mouth like silk, she could not fully grasp the complex nature of love. To her best breath she laced her words with thoughtful and honest thread, it was a difficult definition to describe but somehow her lips formed words that seemed to cause her heart to patter, and hopefully the same feeling could stir within the warmth her fingers tease. 

Ivana asked the same question, hoping to milk out a similar yet different response from Nikolai. Her tongue remained still as her slender fingers back to trace his rosary and dogtags, feeling the contrast of the stones and metal on his pale flesh. 

"Love starts with accepting the person as who they are and what they bring with them. It then goes on to let them help mold you and make your journey a joy rather than sorrow. To have someone to be with; to talk and to listen. Then at the end it is ending your journey; feeling as you did in the beginning but being able to look back and say to the one with you and say, 'I'd do it all again, as long as you would.'"

A smile painted her lips, a strong warmth grasping her heart. Those words would continue to rehearse in her mind during the lonely nights that frigid distance parted their embrace. 

"That would be a simple man's way of putting such an amazing emotion into words."

Ivana's hazel eyes met the boyish grin that shone on his lips, she matched the emotion was a honeysuckle laugh, burying the face under her lover's neck, inhaling his beautiful scent. 

"Those are beautiful words- and when we reach the end of our journey, I would love to start from the beginning as long as the stars still are in the heavens."

Her breath spoke of those tender words, her eyes matching the twinkle she felt in he soul. Her hand touched the side of his textured face, her smile still marrying her plump lips with her enchanting gaze never wavering. She inched herself even closer to her lover, releasing a content sigh once his fingers found a soft refuge in her brunette locks. She was utterly trapped in his gaze, each moment he looked into her eyes it felt as if it was that first moment they met in the bar. 

"I wouldn't change a thing about you, Ivana. Not a single thing."

Her smile had spread even further once his words touched her ears.

"I wouldn't change anything about you either."

Her lips leaned forward closing the gap between the soft skin. She tenderly relished each tender peck, continuing to melt into each beautiful touch. 

[Nikolai Boryenko]

The conversation was going well. He was now relaxed and enjoying the moments he was having with his beautiful lover. His eyes shone whenever she spoke. Her voice alone intrigued him and the words she formed pulled him past intrigue. He always enjoyed thinking outside of the realm of him needing to think. Such as after he read a book on philosophy or a current event. When she gave her definition, it made him think like he would in those past situations. It forced him to use a different part of his mind to think of his own definition that made sense to him.

"Those are beautiful words- and when we reach the end of our journey, I would love to start from the beginning as long as the stars still are in the heavens."

Nikolai smiled. Her answer was not what he expected. He was not expecting an answer at all in actuality. He was glad she had responded as such because his heart liked the rebuttal. It made him feel like he had someone to hold onto; someone that was his. The sense of stability was reassuring when she touched his scruffy face and inched closer to him. He welcomed both actions with a soft smile as he looked over her face.

"I wouldn't change a thing about you, Ivana. Not a single thing."

Her soft smile grew a little bit wider when Nikolai finished his thought. He meant every syllable that fell from his mouth. Words did not do his feelings justice, but he really did not know how else to express his feelings. So he let the words fall short and he said them anyways.

"I wouldn't change anything about you either."

She craned her neck to find Nikolai's lips. He met her halfway and indulged her movement in a soft kiss. He then studied her face again. Letting himself remember every detail. He touched her chin lightly with his thumb; caressing it softly. He then stroked her dark locks and took in a deep breath; letting it exhale.

"I'll find you. After all of this is over. We'll have a life together. One where we can live however we like. We can live as simply or as complex as you wish, my dear."

He spoke in a soft tone. His mind imagined a life without having to crawl from cover to cover over the course of hours or days to get within range of a target. A life where he did not need to take a bird's eye view of his enemy and spill their blood all the while waiting for his own life to end without a single thought or sound but the crack of a rifle. Nikolai looked forward to the days where he could work an honest man's job for a living and provide for his lover and children. He smiled at the thoughts. They were something to hold onto in this upcoming hell that he would endure.

His eyes wandered once more. Looking at his surroundings. He did not look at anything in particular. He was just looking. Needing to see around him to gather some type of thought that ran through his mind.

"Have you ever been to the country, seen the mountains or valleys? My father always told me there was nothing more beautiful than watching the sun set over the mountaintops as you saw the last of the light reflect off of the river you are fishing in."

He remembered her hesitating before they made love. How she had stopped and looked at his scar. He wondered what ran through her mind when she saw it. The mark of animal is how he thought it to be. A wounded animal that could not stop killing. It could not be because of his rank, for he was only a junior NCO. She would have had relations with men of much higher rank than he. He also discounted his Rosary. It was nothing special to look at. Just an old antique that his father had passed to Yuri before he died, then to Nikolai soon after. It had been in their family for three generations. Just a wooden crucifix with prayer beads.

"Before we made love...what made you hesitate, my dear?"

His eyes were curious rather than hurt. She had not stopped abruptly the night before, so why now? Did she really take in who he was and have a second thought? Nikolai's mind was starting to wander when he silenced his thoughts and gave his full attention to her once more. He wanted to see what her reasoning was. It interested him.

The steel blue eyes once again found her deep hazels. He melted in her gaze. He wanted to know more about her. She had told him what had happened to her father and mother. How her grandfather took her in and molded her at an early age to be a product of the Russian government's espionage line of work.

His brow became furrowed. His mind was working, but the words were not quite there. He wondered so many things about this mysterious woman. He was then set. He would leave the subject broad. Let her tell him whatever she wanted to and leave out whatever she didn't

"So, my love, who is Ivana? Could you define that beautiful name for me?"

He said this is in a more joking manner but wanted to see what she would say about herself. He wanted her to paint a picture of herself; past, present, and perhaps future. He could tell a lot from someone when they told him about their ambitions; if they had any. Once again, he left his mind a blank slate, ready to be filled up with her words. Ready to be told who she was in her own words.

[Ivana Dimionva Kuznetsova]

Her mind and heart were in sync, both held a timid pace to allow the flow of blood to nourish her veins. The soft caresses played on her heart-shaped chin and flowing brunette locks brought relaxation to her troubled mind, yet the underbelly of sorrow never died- she did not want to part from Nikolai's embraces, nor his kisses. 

"I'll find you. After all of this is over. We'll have a life together. One where we can live however we like. We can live as simply or as complex as you wish, my dear."

Her thoughts traced an image, clinging to the softness of his voice. It was difficult for her to utter her emotions, she believed that her heart would do the same, would enjoy the afterlife with the man she fell in love with, but the choking dust cloud of war blinded any thoughts of the future; even thought the odds were weighing on her shoulders the pure memories of their tender moments would comfort her through the unknown. Ivana kept her smile for awhile before her eyes broke their own spell of contact, tracing the outlines of the bedroom enclosing them.

"Have you ever been to the country, seen the mountains or valleys? My father always told me there was nothing more beautiful than watching the sun set over the mountaintops as you saw the last of the light reflect off of the river you are fishing in."

Ivana inhaled a sweet breath, allowing her covered bare flesh to rise and fall, the painting of the sceneries beyond the smog played on her mind. 

"I always wanted to visit the country, I have seen sunsets, but clustered buildings would block its full beauty. Honestly I would give up life in the city to live in the country."

Ever since she was young, the stories of crisper air and brighter stars always intrigued her fancy. Of course she was only limited by her youthful imagination at the time. Even with her movements in the field of espionage she was still just as limited as her imagination, only passing through the rural patches from the comforts of a passenger train. 

"Before we made love...what made you hesitate, my dear?"

Ivana bit her bottom lip in a few moments silence, she adjusted her focus to the crumbling ceiling about her, she knew why she hesitated- but she did not desire to reap upon the bitter emotions that flowed through her mind.

"The reason why I hesitated was because... I wanted to remember you, every part, every detail. So I won't ever forget."

Her words were soft and dainty, holding tightly onto the emotions that threaten to run free. God knew that she did not want to leave Nikolai, He knew that she wished with each passing hour that the corrupt forces behind the strings of the war would raise their white flag and cease their breathing, but so far that was a distant wish. Swallowing a building lump, she blinked back a few building tears before returning the gaze to her lover's brilliant seas. 

"So, my love, who is Ivana? Could you define that beautiful name for me?"

The sound of banter wrapped around the question, Ivana gave a small laugh as she shifted her gaze back to the ceiling. 'Define that beautiful name for me.' She was truly never asked to reveal her personal lining, to expose the delicate flesh that made up of the woman outside of the veneer. 

"Well... Ivana is a woman who is trying to find herself beyond espionage. She is an observant one that tends to wait and see the situation before any action can be taken. She enjoys rainy days, reading, playing music to pass the time."

Her lips paused as she tried to gather more qualities, it was a foreign taste that settled on the spy's tongue. 

"If I was not a spy, I would have been teaching little children in music. It was something I always wanted to do. I grew up as an only child, never had siblings, but I always desired to have three children myself just didn't know who I was going to marry though- but now I know who I would want the dream to be played out with."

She turned her gaze back to Nikolai, shifting her stark body to face him. 

"So... who is Nikolai he has to be more than a handsome face and a sharpshooter."

Matching his previous jovial tone, she kept her eyes on him, relaxing more in her position.

[Nikolai Boryenko]

The more she spoke the more Nikolai's mind ran. He was gaining a deeper understanding of who this woman was. He was falling more and more for her with each word she spoke. Her wishes and dreams were seeming to run in the same direction as his. It made him smile knowing her mind.

"I always wanted to visit the country, I have seen sunsets, but clustered buildings would block its full beauty. Honestly I would give up life in the city to live in the country."

His mind lit up. He was happy that she would live in the country. He had been to the towns and he found them very congested and annoying. He had been there a few times to sell furs with his father and brother. He recalled once when he had gone to the nearest town in mid-June with his father and brother. Nikolai was eight years old. The three of them went into the marketplace where their father set up a small area to sell his spoils of the hunts from the winter and spring.

The air was cool and the people were rude. They pushed past Nikolai and his brother. Never saying 'excuse me' or anything like that. No, Nikolai liked the countryside where he could get to know someone. Perhaps a total stranger and have a conversation with them for hours without even knowing their name.

His thoughts then changed to a different topic. The topic of her hesitation. It was somewhat unsettling to him. It mad him feel almost as if something was wrong.

"Before we made love...what made you hesitate, my dear?"

He waited for her answer. Her saw her bit her lip in thought. He thought it was a cute action that she did when she thought about something. Just one more thing her enjoyed about her.

"The reason why I hesitated was because... I wanted to remember you, every part, every detail. So I won't ever forget."

He did not think she was being truly honest with him, but he would not push the subject. If she did not want to tell him what she really thought or what the hesitation was really about she must have good reasons for it. He was not the kind of person that would press on an issue for long.

For now he listened to Ivana's perception of herself as she turned to look at the ceiling to think. Seeing if he could imagine what she was like before the war. Perhaps she was different back then. He did not expect that much, but he wondered if things would have been different if they had not met during the war. He wondered if he would have brushed shoulders with her in the street and would have never known who she was. All in all, he was just happy that he had found her. He figured it was God's plan that he had found her in this time. It gave him comfort to think that way.

"Well... Ivana is a woman who is trying to find herself beyond espionage. She is an observant one that tends to wait and see the situation before any action can be taken. She enjoys rainy days, reading, playing music to pass the time."

Her voice abruptly stopped as her mind was catching up. Nikolai held his peace until she was finished. He could not help but think about their similarities as she listed her enjoyments off. The one thing that held in his mind was music. He recalled the last time he heard music. It was haunting. On one of his missions in Stalingrad. He had been hunting a Hauptmann for two days. Watching his movements and figuring out his schedule. Every Nazi commissioned officer had a schedule. For two days he listened to the eerie music that the Germans played over the loudspeakers. After the mission was completed, that song stayed in his head for days.

"If I was not a spy, I would have been teaching little children in music. It was something I always wanted to do. I grew up as an only child, never had siblings, but I always desired to have three children myself just didn't know who I was going to marry though- but now I know who I would want the dream to be played out with."

Nikolai loved listening to her ambitions. It gave him hope of one day seeing them accomplished. He thought about her playing some beautiful tune on an instrument that Nikolai had never seen. His thought was stopped when she moved her body so she could see his face.

"So... who is Nikolai he has to be more than a handsome face and a sharpshooter."

He smiled and gave a small laugh when he heard his own tone being used on him once more as the spy was so skilled at doing. He then 'hmmed' in a thoughtful tone.

"I would have to describe him as a very curious man that loves to learn. He is normally very reserved and quiet, but with the right person he is an open book for that special person to read. He enjoys hunting, fishing, walking through the mountains and valleys, and reading as much as possible."

He stopped. Thinking of what she said next so he could use it as a guideline as to what information he would give to Ivana.

"If I was not a soldier, I would probably be following in my father's footsteps as a metal worker or perhaps a miner. Yeleninskoye has a large community of miners. Good men most of them. Besides that, I always knew I would marry and have children, but never knew whom or how many. I figured I'd let her decide." He smiled and winked at her with the last sentence.

He looked at the window. It was getting darker and the moon was making it's way out to take over the sun's job. Nikolai did not desire to be anywhere else but right here and in the now. He was content with staying here. He just did not like the knowledge of the need for the two to leave each other's embrace tomorrow. Perhaps for good. As much as Nikolai disliked the thought, he knew it would come to pass tomorrow that he would leave her to the unknown and he would complete his mission and be sent to the front. Back to his previous occupation of killing from a distance.

In all reality, he missed his men and being responsible for them. They trusted him and he trusted them. Before he had left, the Soviets had established a good hold on many bridges across the Dnieper river where he was previously stationed around Kiev and where he had fought until December nineteenth when all offensive attacks ceased. He figured he would be sent to that area to defend for a short time then go on the offensive with his comrades. The faster they took German territory, the faster the war would be won and he could see his love once more.

"Do you know where you are going after your assignment is completed here?"

Nikolai's tone was bleak and riddled with curiosity. He tried to cover it, but his training was not in masking his feelings. He was wondering where she might be when the war was over. Perhaps he could have some kind of lead for when he was sent back after the war had expired. In all honesty, he did not know what he would find when he got to his hometown. It would be easier if he had someone to hold his hand when he went back to a peaceful world.

[Ivana Dimionva Kuznetsova]

For a fleeting moment her mind was lost in piecing together the puzzle of her words. So far this man laying right beside her held the key to her heart and inner secrets, her desires and true aspirations; but he was not supposed to hear upon these words, it was a dangerous prose that she broke, the rule that was beaten into her brain during her training days: 'Never reveal who you are, not your name, or your personality; anyone and everyone is an enemy, trust no one in this war.'

Ivana swallowed dryly, that was a golden egg she cracked- a silent blanket of the web she caught herself into when she feel hard and fast for Nikolai. When his words asked about her hesitation, her plump lips could only spill out the slant truth. Even though the fact that she could not fully draw upon her true motives, it was a relief that his mind trailed on, but her insides were still being consumed by the beast of her lies. The spy wore the warm, meaningful smile that she truly felt- and emotion that only herself was able to enjoy, but Nikolai was truly special; Ivana did not mind sharing everything she had left in this life with him. She listened as her lover explained himself behind the veneer. 

"I would have to describe him as a very curious man that loves to learn. He is normally very reserved and quiet, but with the right person he is an open book for that special person to read. He enjoys hunting, fishing, walking through the mountains and valleys, and reading as much as possible."

She kept her eyes trained on his chiseled features, allowing her hazels to trace upon every curve and imperfection. Beyond his physical frame, he held a similar heartbeat to her. Ivana would spend every morning and ticking noon day orange burying her nose in a book; ever since she was a girl her grandparents would buy her endless written manuscripts. It did help her mind flow in imagination, yet challenged it in the same breath. 

"If I was not a soldier, I would probably be following in my father's footsteps as a metal worker or perhaps a miner. Yeleninskoye has a large community of miners. Good men most of them. Besides that, I always knew I would marry and have children, but never knew whom or how many. I figured I'd let her decide."

It was interesting to hear what they would have been if the war never existed, if they did not give their well-being to the Motherland. But alas it would have been even more so interesting because Ivana would never had met the love of her life, she would not have known that this man existed and survived this long in the war. She would have never felt the inner blossoming of hope and passion. It was true that she loved him deeply, but she feared for his safety. In the midst of her thoughts she caught his smile and wink, clinging into the last drops of words that hinted upon her decision. 

"I believe that I would know who I would marry, whether he does or not is the question. But as for children, if he paid more attention to his personal notes then he would understand how many she wants."

Ivana replied in her own witty banter, trailing her fingers over the prickly peaks of his stubble, down to the soft contrast of his neck and bare chest. She brushed upon the scar once more a frowned a bit, she desired to know the story behind it- how he got it. Every solider had a story to tell.

"How did you get the scar love?"

She still held a concerned look in her eyes, a tenderness that would have been fitting for a mother. 

"Do you know where you are going after your assignment is completed here?"

She paused her fingers, looking at him once before delving once more into the unforeseeable pool. 

"After Alexandrov, I will continue my path to Moscow. After the war I will remain there, waiting."

After she spoke, her voice placed an emphasis on waiting, it was a hint how she would loyally establish her role back into civilian life before she could spend the rest of her days writing in their book, if there would be a future between them.

"What about you, where will you be after this?"

There was so much she pondered upon, yet so little time to ask about them. 

[Nikolai Boryenko]

The hint was subtle yet obvious to Nikolai's ears. Her repartee was easy for Nikolai's ears to pick up on now. He too had similar raillery that she was able to pick up on easily as well. He thought that having the same general wittiness would help them like it has so far in their relationship. Nikolai enjoyed it very much too.

"I believe that I would know who I would marry, whether he does or not is the question. But as for children, if he paid more attention to his personal notes then he would understand how many she wants."

Nikolai looked at her with an over exaggerated look of confusion. He let his mouth open slightly and eyebrows raise in mock shock.

"Well, this man must be very ignorant or will be very sad when he learns of our time together."

He smirked and looked a her playfully as she ran her pale fingers from his rough face to his neck down over his toned chest where her fingers came to rest on the grisly scar running from his ribs to his chest. Her touch felt as if it healed the disfigured area and wiped it from his body. He felt as if her touch gave his wound forgiveness for what he had done, or in this case, what he had not done.

"How did you get the scar love?"

It was a question that he had not been asked yet. It somewhat surprised him that she had not asked earlier, but he figured it was because of the awkwardness she thought he would experience. In all honesty, it would have been somewhat painful to remember what had happened if he were telling a stranger, but to Ivana, he could tell her anything.

"We were laying in the mud for three days straight in Moscow in the winter of 1941. We had set up the perfect observation position in a very large fountain on the more western side. The Nazis had killed many of our men and left them there; that is where we hid. After staying in place for those days, my spotter and I finally saw our target. I made the shot and we were about to get out of the area without being seen when we spotted a platoon of fascists behind us. We fired many shots at them and many of the rounds found their mark; but they had mortars and used them freely. I was hit by shrapnel and he was not as lucky as me. I lost a friend that day and was left with this as a bitter memory of my failure."

Nikolai's voice became a little more grim, but still sounded as if he were just retelling a story that he had been telling for years.

"I was able to lay amongst the dead for six hours. I then made my way back to the camp. I had lost a lot of blood, but the medic was able to stitch me up pretty well. He was a butcher before the war ironically."

On the last sentence, Nikolai added a small laugh when he said it. He did find it rather funny that the man was so skilled because he used to sew up pigs. His skill was now being used to sew up the flesh of wounded men rather than wounded animals.

"Isidor Dubow. He was only seventeen years old. Just a boy."

Nikolai had a grim smile on his face as he looked down slightly. He had not spoken of the boy since his death. He felt as if he betrayed the soldier's memory by not talking about him earlier. In all honesty, Nikolai did not know the boy very well. He just knew that he came from Chelyabinsk and had no family. They had all died years earlier. He was just happy he had no parents to grieve.

His mood shifted when she answered his question.

"After Alexandrov, I will continue my path to Moscow. After the war I will remain there, waiting."

He was relieved that she would stay in a place so populated. The city of Moscow would be an easy place to find her. It would be hard in the sense that there are so many people, but easy in the sense that everyone knew where Moscow was. It was easy to get to and easy to navigate for the most part.

"What about you, where will you be after this?"

He thought for a few seconds letting his mind run through his options. He then spoke to Ivana in a sweet tone.

"It seems I will travel to Moscow. Then I would like to return to Yeleninskoye to see my father and sister. Perhaps you would accompany me? They would love to meet you, Ivana."

Nikolai's eyebrow raised at the question he posed to the young, beautiful Russian. He let his hand touch her face lightly. He looked at her soft features and smiled.

"I'll let you think about it. Hopefully not for too long." He said and kissed her lightly. Then a longer kiss. Letting his hands and body do the work while his mind attempted to keep up.

[Ivana Dimionva Kuznetsova]

A tender giggle escaped from between her parted lips, she could not help but to feel warm and strangely bubbly around Nikolai, even though he would most likely be a completely different man in the realm of Dante's inferno. 

"Well, this man must be very ignorant or will be very sad when he learns of our time together."

A laugh bellowed as she tried to cover her mouth with her slender hand, attempting to grasp the floating memories of their precious time together. 

"If I were him... I would be jealous also."

After her hiccups of cherry laughter melted away, the air settled into a more grim tone. Ever since her eye paid attention to the finer details, her mind would not cease upon pondering the story behind the raised flesh. Many scenarios floated in her brain, each one more graphic than the other; Ivana paused her thoughts, attempting to clear them away to hear the tale.

"We were laying in the mud for three days straight in Moscow in the winter of 1941. We had set up the perfect observation position in a very large fountain on the more western side. The Nazis had killed many of our men and left them there; that is where we hid. After staying in place for those days, my spotter and I finally saw our target. I made the shot and we were about to get out of the area without being seen when we spotted a platoon of fascists behind us. We fired many shots at them and many of the rounds found their mark; but they had mortars and used them freely. I was hit by shrapnel and he was not as lucky as me. I lost a friend that day and was left with this as a bitter memory of my failure."

The frown was born onto her features, she attempted to visually grasp his story, to put herself in the line of fire- right before he finished her thoughts upon the matter ceased, as if it was preventing the pain from seeping into her marrow. 

"I was able to lay amongst the dead for six hours. I then made my way back to the camp. I had lost a lot of blood, but the medic was able to stitch me up pretty well. He was a butcher before the war ironically."

The grizzly sketch remained to the unseen eye, the look of sorrow crossed her features for a moment before vanishing away upon the incite of gothic humor. It was amazing how Nikolai seemed so willing to dig deep, for her. Ivana never thought she would be that special to someone, let alone another man that was trying to survive just as much as she did. 

"Isidor Dubow. He was only seventeen years old. Just a boy."

It was ironic that their ages were parallel, Ivana was placed into the espionage sphere when she was seventeen; of course she kept her heartbeat, but... it was like she was Isidor in a way, never was able to live their own respective futures, never had the chance to write their own books. A small smile crossed her lips once more as she was able to breathe more clearly. 

"It seems I will travel to Moscow. Then I would like to return to Yeleninskoye to see my father and sister. Perhaps you would accompany me? They would love to meet you, Ivana."

A larger smile painter upon her lips once more, so he would search for me, the spy could not help but to bean a bit in girlish delight, especially at the question to escape the laden smog and run off with her other half, meeting the family that fell from his lips. It was a promising deal, it would be nice to meet the surviving kin; it would be for the best, due to her lack of known family members back in Moscow. 

"I'll let you think about it. Hopefully not for too long."

Ivana returned his smile as her soft lips were blessed with a tender chastity then with a more passionate kiss. Her body melted into the touches and actions, her pale flesh crying out goosebumps as she allowed her senses to be carried away. She held onto the kiss for moments longer before she broke the seal to answer his question.

"Yes... Yes I would love to travel back with you and meet your family."

Her doe voice breathed it's sigh of content pleasure before she flickered a smile and closed the distance off between their lips once more. She rolled herself on top of her lover, only focusing on him- until her concentration was broken as she felt a slipping around her neck and a small vibration. A bit confused and out of breath, Ivana instinctively felt around her neck. It was barren. Her eyes trailed down to Nikolai's chest, there resting near his heart was the locket. With a small smile, Ivana wrapped her slender fingers around the warm metal, her curiosity leading her to inspect the piece of mysterious jewelry even more. 

"I still don't understand why this was given to me, but I do know that there has to be something inside."

[Nikolai Boryenko]

Her small girlish giggle gave him pleasure. His eyes lit up when she found him funny. He felt as if he done something good and her smile and laughter warmed his heart and made him feel like everything was alright and everything would be alright. He knew that in time, everything would be alright when he could live peacefully with his love for the rest of his life.

"If I were him... I would be jealous also."

Nikolai laughed then became serious as she asked about his scar. He felt it only natural to ask. His disfigurement was a thing that haunted him; marked him for his righteous conquest from the Motherland. It reminded him where his loyalty would lie for the rest of his life and reminded him of how the war would pay him. His payment so far was blood and a sadness. But on the other hand, something great had come of this war. He had found his other half that made him whole and her name was Ivana.

Nikolai went into his story, feeling as if it was no big deal and tried to suppress his more bitter side towards the subject.

"We were laying in the mud for three days straight in Moscow in the winter of 1941. We had set up the perfect observation position in a very large fountain on the more western side. The Nazis had killed many of our men and left them there; that is where we hid. After staying in place for those days, my spotter and I finally saw our target. I made the shot and we were about to get out of the area without being seen when we spotted a platoon of fascists behind us. We fired many shots at them and many of the rounds found their mark; but they had mortars and used them freely. I was hit by shrapnel and he was not as lucky as me. I lost a friend that day and was left with this as a bitter memory of my failure."

His voice started becoming more pained as he went further into the story. This man had been a friend and a brother in arms. The two had bled together and anyone who bled with Nikolai was his brother. He felt as if he had failed the man that was truly no more than a boy.

"Isidor Dubow. He was only seventeen years old. Just a boy."

Just a boy. Like Nikolai said. But Nikolai was barely a man at that point. He had only been twenty-three when he witnessed someone he had spent every hour with for the past few days being reduced to nothing but a red mist and piles of gore. Nikolai never thought about it like that. He always thought that Isidor just died. There was nothing gruesome about it. Just dead. No pain and no knowledge of what happened. It gave Nikolai little comfort that the boy had died without pain, which is saying a lot in this war. Many men on both sides died from long, drawn out deaths from sloppy shots and awkward thrusts of bayonets. Often riving in agony as they cried for God, their mothers, and the medic before they slowly faded into eternity. The hunter always tried to give a clean kill. He always had and always will. His anger did not mean he was sadistic to his enemy. Since the war had begun, Nikolai realized that most of these men were possibly just like him. He used to see them as monsters; animals. Now he saw them as humans; real people. It did not mean he would hesitate to squeeze the trigger, though. Because he knew that deep down, they would not hesitate to put a hot piece of lead through his skull either. Such is warfare.

The air changed once again as the subject changed to his lovers whereabouts after the war.

"After Alexandrov, I will continue my path to Moscow. After the war I will remain there, waiting."

He caught on to how she put a little more emphasis on 'waiting.' He had mixed feelings to know that she would wait for him. He was overjoyed that she would wait for him to be with him. It also pained him to know that there was a possibility she would never see him again. She then deflected the question towards Nikolai in which he told her that he would search for her and find her, then he would return to his father and sister in his hometown. He hoped she would join him in his journey back home. He knew that his father would be overjoyed that his son had found a good woman to marry and that something good had come from the war. He knew his father would love Ivana, he also knew that his sister would. He wondered about his sister from time to time. He wondered what had happened to her. If she had married, if she stayed with their father this whole time, or if something had happened. He missed his siblings. One he would hopefully see again, the other...he would have to wait to see him again.

"I'll let you think about it. Hopefully not for too long."

It only took a few breaths and a few soft and passionate kisses for her to return with an answer.

"Yes... Yes I would love to travel back with you and meet your family."

Nikolai gave a large smile as she moved to a dominant position on him. She took in the air quickly with pleasure as she moved. Kissing him once more and smiling her beautiful smile all the while. His voice was filled with enjoyment and a joke as she made the movements. He never ran out of the enjoyment he got from the raillery they both played with.

"Well that did not take long. I thought you spies were hard to convince."

Nikolai closed his eyes for a second, then felt a small item drop on his chest. It felt warm and very small. Almost like a spent shell casing, but heavier. Nikolai's mind thought of that and he was almost disgusted with himself, but laughed inside of his head when he made the parallel. He then looked at Ivana's movements as she groped for something that would have rested on her chest. She then spotted it on his chest as his eyes connected to the small piece of gold. She then reached for it and picked it up, holding it in her tender grasp.

"I still don't understand why this was given to me, but I do know that there has to be something inside."

Nikolai looked at what her hands were working on with his never ending curiosity. He wondered what it was. What it was to her. For some reason, he had not noticed it before or while the two were making love. He wrote it off as him being so enthralled by her while they were together. He could make out that it was a necklace of some sort with a small pendant on it. His brow furrowed and he spoke softly, hoping he would not bring up something that haunted his lover.

"Who gave it to you, tsvetok. Someone important I'm sure? What is inside?"

His voice became low and genuine. He let his vocal chords become smooth and filled with honest interest as he spoke. If it was someone that Ivana had known and loved, he would like to know about them. Perhaps it was a person whom she missed dearly. Nikolai had very few relics from the people he loved. He still had their memories. That was good enough for him. It kind of had to be in all reality.

His hand moved lightly over her forearm as she worked on the small piece of jewelry. He wanted to feel her always. Not so much because he needed to, but just to know that this was all real and that he would not suddenly be awoken to a world filled with gunfire and explosions. He wanted to maintain this reality with Ivana. He loved it too much to think it was a dream. So he was satisfied when he felt the warmth of her body against his and the small coldness he felt from her arm. He started to move his hand a little faster to warm her arm. The room was quite chilly as he now realized. Their actions had kept them warm for a while, but now that it was over, the reality of the temperature set in and a slight chill fell over Nikolai. He got goosebumps on his chest and felt his hair stand up on the back of his neck. Te goosebumps were not odd to him, but the hair moving like that...odd indeed. It was a sense that had not been peaked before. It was not a bad one. Whenever he had a bad feeling, he would always feel a small chill flood his stomach. Perhaps this was a sixth sense that had been peaked by something good. At least, he hoped so.