char app

[rameriez z winchester]

Character Name: Rameriez zachery winchester
Rank: Master Captian or First Lieutenant
Nationality: American
History:

Rameriez was born on March 10 1912 When rameriez was 5 he would play with the kid on his block and they would play soldier but the problem with that rameriez never knew his father since he went back to the military to help play the bills but his mom said he was a very nice manbut when he came back he was drinking every time he got he would hit rameriezs mom and rameriez could'nt do anything about it but when he was 12 he tryed but his dad beat the crap out of him but when the war started the goverment told him to come back so he did rameriezs mom was very angery at her husband because he was keeping it all but one night two military police showed up with a flag and all the money he had saved in the military and rameriezs mom was happy because she got the money to care for rameriz but she was also sad because her husband was dead at 17 rameriez went to coleague and then the day he came back he told his mom he wanted to join the service to help her and send her some of the money and he would save the rest for a house when he got back so he went to the recruiting station and signed up for the 101st airbourne divison after 9 months they had molded rameriez into a one man army

Writing Sample:

Location: Fort Campbell, Kentucky.
Time: 1232 Hours, June 13, 1938
Weather Conditions: thick fog

Rameriez sat in his foxhole with one of his squad mates they did'nt know each other but they where on guard duty rameriez held his M1917 Enfield (American Enfield) right beside him and rameriez also felt the weight of his M1911 on his belt and he felt the combat knife he had in his boot the gernades on his belt and the moisture of the fog on his face it was very moist for kentucky in june but all that mattered to rameriez was he was a screaming eagle! after all he made it past training he wqas going to show those german dogs what happens when they mess with americas friends even though he had no friends that passed the training but he had made some really cool friends along the way even though he was a kid from a small town he knew how to make friends he tried to make friends with every one he got a chance to so he asked the guy beside him "whats your name" the guy said "what is this social hour" I said "no I'm just trying to make friends" and the guy said "oh i'm sorry it's sam whats yours?" i said "Rameriez how long have you been here any way?" "about 7 months and h" right when he was going to say the end to his sentace a general yelled "all men to the breifing room where going to destroy these germans"

[Heiko Alkema]

First, Welcome to IO and thanks for applying. However, in its current state, I'm unable to accept this application at the requested rank. Here at Issuing Orders we have a minimum quality standard required for certain ranks, particularly officer ranks. If you'd like, you can browse past applications here, in the accepted application board to get a feel for what we expect of applications.

Feel free to ask any questions here, and to add to your application in this thread.

And a small note, all of our role-playing is done in the third person past; eg 'he said, they did' instead of 'I said, we did'.

-Heiko

[char app]

how do i edit it?

[Heiko Alkema]

Simply make a new post that includes your amendments.

[Rameriez z zajack]

Character Name: Rameriez zachery winchester
Rank: Master First Lieutenant or Second Lieutenant or higher
Nationality: American
History:

Rameriez was born on March 10 1912 When rameriez was 5 he would play with the kid on his block and they would play soldier but the problem with that rameriez never knew his father since he went back to the military to help play the bills but his mom said he was a very nice manbut when he came back he was drinking every time he got he would hit rameriezs mom and rameriez could'nt do anything about it but when he was 12 he tryed but his dad beat the crap out of him but when the war started the goverment told him to come back so he did rameriezs mom was very angery at her husband because he was keeping it all but one night two military police showed up with a flag and all the money he had saved in the military and rameriezs mom was happy because she got the money to care for rameriz but she was also sad because her husband was dead at 17 rameriez went to coleague and then the day he came back he told his mom he wanted to join the service to help her and send her some of the money and he would save the rest for a house when he got back so he went to the recruiting station and signed up for the 101st airbourne divison after 9 months they had molded rameriez into a one man army

Writing Sample:

Location: Fort Campbell, Kentucky.
Time: 1232 Hours, June 13, 1938
Weather Conditions: thick fog

Rameriez sat in his foxhole with one of his squad mates they did'nt know each other but they where on guard duty rameriez held his M1917 Enfield (American Enfield) right beside him and rameriez also felt the weight of his silver gleaming M1911 on his belt and he felt the black steel combat knife he had in his boot the gernades on his belt and the moisture of the fog on his face it was very moist for kentucky in june but all that mattered to rameriez was he was a screaming eagle! after all he made it past training he wqas going to show those german dogs what happens when they mess with americas friends even though he had no friends that passed the training but he had made some really cool friends along the way even though he was a kid from a small town he knew how to make friends he tried to make friends with every one he got a chance to so he asked the guy beside him "whats your name" the guy said "what is this social hour" Rameriez said "no I'm just trying to make friends" and the guy said "oh i'm sorry it's sam whats yours?" he said "Rameriez how long have you been here any way?" "about 7 months and h.." right when he was going to say the end to his sentace a general yelled "all men to the breifing room where going to destroy these germans"

(ok i changed it to third person hope it's ok this site seems really cool so far)

[rameriez z winchester]

Character Name: Rameriez zachery winchester
Rank: Master Second Lieutenant or First Sergeant or higher
Nationality: American
History:

Rameriez was born on March 10 1912 When rameriez was 5 he would play with the kid on his block and they would play soldier but the problem with that rameriez never knew his father since he went back to the military to help play the bills but his mom said he was a very nice manbut when he came back he was drinking every time he got he would hit rameriezs mom and rameriez could'nt do anything about it but when he was 12 he tryed but his dad beat the crap out of him but when the war started the government told him to come back so he did rameriezs mom was very angry at her husband because he was keeping it all but one night two military police showed up with a flag and all the money he had saved in the military and rameriezs mom was happy because she got the money to care for rameriz but she was also sad because her husband was dead at 17 rameriez went to coleague and then the day he came back he told his mom he wanted to join the service to help her and send her some of the money and he would save the rest for a house when he got back so he went to the recruiting station and signed up for the 101st airborne division after 9 months they had molded rameriez into a one man army

Writing Sample:

Location: Fort Campbell, Kentucky.
Time: 1232 Hours, June 13, 1938
Weather Conditions: thick fog

Rameriez sat in his dark cold wet foxhole with one of his squad mates it was cold and wet but Rameriez didn't care and they didn't know each other but they where on guard duty rameriez held his M1917 En field (American En field) right beside him and rameriez also felt the weight of his silver gleaming M1911 on his belt and he felt the black steel combat knife he had in his boot the grenades on his belt and the moisture of the fog on his face it was very moist for Kentucky in June but all that mattered to rameriez was he was a screaming eagle! after all he made it past training he was going to show those German dogs what happens when they mess with americas friends even though he had no friends that passed the training but he had made some really cool friends along the way even though he was a kid from a small town he knew how to make friends he tried to make friends with every one he got a chance to so he asked the guy beside him "whats your name" the guy said "what is this social hour" Rameriez said "no I'm just trying to make friends" and the guy said "oh I'm sorry it's Sam whats yours?" he said "Rameriez how long have you been here any way?" "about 7 months and h.." right when he was going to say the end to his sentace a general yelled "all men to the briefing room where going to destroy these Germans" over the moist loud speaker

[rameriez]

is it ok?

[Rameriez]

Character Name: Denis livkoskie
Rank: Mladshii Serzhant or Starshii Serzhant or higher
Nationality: Russian
History:

Denis was born on March 10 1912 in Saint Petersburg. When Denis was 5 he would play with the kid on his block and they would play soldier but one time Denis climbed about 30 meters and he sliped and fell but Denis was lucky he made it away with only a broken ankle his mother banned him from being with the boys he played soldier with but one time they where running to his house and said they needed his help he knew his mother would be mad with him but he needed to see what they needed and when he got there he saw five 15 year old boy beating up 4 of Denis and the kids with him friends Denis broke the first boys nose and made the rest blead Denis had bruises and a slightly broken nose his mother grounded him but Denis knew he had done the right thing and helped people. Denis never knew his father since he went back to the military to help play the bills but his mom said he was a very nice man but when he came back he was drinking every time he got he would hit Denis's mom and Denis couldn't do anything about it but when he was 12 he tried but his dad beat the crap out of him but when the war started the government told him to come back so he did Denis's mom was very angry at her husband because he was keeping it all but one night two soldiers showed up with a flag and all the money he had saved in the military and Denis's mom was happy because she got the money to care for Denis but she was also sad because her husband was dead at 17 Denis went to coleague and then the day he came back he told his mom he wanted to join the service to help her and send her some of the money and he would save the rest for a house when he got back so he went to the recruiting station and signed up for the 28Th Motor-Rifle Regiment after 9 months they had molded Denis into a one man army

Writing Sample:

Location: Moscow.
Time: 1232 Hours, June 13, 1938
Weather Conditions: thick fog

Denis held his mosin nagent close to his body he wasn't scared of the germans he was going to kill them and he would live to see the cowards run from the mother land crying Denis was eager to fight this would be his first battle and the most important this was the battle for Moscow Denis could see the mountians of bodies of germans lieing in there own blood and denis saw all of his comrads running up into the mg42 fire with a gleam in there eyes as they ran Denis heard the shouting of a Starshii Leitenant and throught the fog Denis saw the officer waving his tokarev TT-33in the way of where the germans had hunkered down with there tanks, machine guns and mortars. When Denis's ship his the shore the MG42 from the left and right turned straight towards there boat denis jumped into the thanks to not having much gear he was able to swim to the top and get ashore. there was a 60mm mortar round landed about 2 meters away from Denis he was flung a good 10 meters he hit his head on a piece of stone and Denis saw two germans came and picked him up and dragged him away denis heard "Bringen Sie diese russischen Müll an den SS-Standartenführer"

(OOC if this is enought then please tell me)

[Heiko Alkema]

Accepted at lower than requested: Efreitor (Corporal)


It's still not up to the quality we would like, but you show a genuine interest and enthusiasm for the site so I'll accept this. However, I'm only going to accept this provisionally. Your writing needs a lot of work. There were only four whole punctuation marks in the entire application, making it consist of five enormous, eye-bleeding sentences. And as a whole it lacked depth.

But, my hope is you'll improve as you integrate into the site. So the condition of your approval is that we must see marked improvement in your posts within a few months. If you are unable to improve to the level that we expect of all our other members, then your application will be retro-actively denied and your account disabled until you reapply with a new and better application.

I would like you to know that I'm more or less accepting this against the rules. We normally would deny an application of this quality, but I feel you have the enthusiasm to attempt to improve. Please don't disappoint me.

A handy piece of information: that CP currency we spoke of earlier is only rewarded for posts that are 15 lines of text or longer. So if your application sample had been a real post, it would not have be rewarded with any CP.

[Denis]

thank you very much keiko for accepting me i won't let you down.