Reflection (Liam)

[Stephen Colly]

It was a frost covered morning. The fields and lawns of the local barracks were covered with the stuff and little footprints and paw-prints of various humans and animals could be seen zigzagging to left and right. The owners of those prints were long gone, either to bed or out into the cold morning. The sun was rising and it covered the running track with a half-hearted golden glow. There was only one person who witnessed the sun and it was Stephen Colly who stood, hands on hips, watching it. It was a beautiful sight and it almost made him feel that little bit happier. There was hope in the sun. Hope that he had long given up on. The last few years had been painful for him. A painful past.

After a few more seconds, he turned away from the sun, his back now to it. He took a deep intake of breath and let it out, watching as the breath floated away from him. He stretched arms above his head and then set off at a gentle jog. The cold air against his skin – for he was only dressed in shorts and a shirt – awoke him. He was only going to jog for a bit around the track, and then would head in for breakfast. After a few laps, he stopped and bent over, catching his breath.

He had got accustomed to running like this every morning. The nightmares that he experienced at night were so terrifying that he had found the only way to get them out of his mind in the morning, was to run and run and run and to then be sick. The being sick part had only come in the last week or so, he had been running so fast that it had made him sick and then after having eaten, he had been sick again. He should really go and see someone. But there was no- one. Of course, there were nurses everywhere but Stephen wasn’t ill in that sense. He just had no-one left. They had just gone, either had been killed, captured, sent elsewhere or, in one case, changed sides. He rarely saw any of his old friends or acquaintances anymore. It was as if they had vanished. But that was war.

He started again to run, keeping the momentum going as he pushed himself to keep going. That was the key, to keep going.

[♔ Liam J. Brentwood]

Young Stephen Colly wasn’t the only one to watch the sun rise this very morning, as Liam sat idle to himself within one of the audience stands overlooking the running track of the barrack’s training field. Tucked away in the top left corner, Liam sat quietly, idle to himself and deep in thought as he gazed towards the flat horizon and watched silently as the big golden burning ball of a sun arose slowly from it’s sleep, causing birds from near and far to begin chirping the morning call, as they perched themselves upon the branches to catch the first warm rays of the heated sunlight.

“I love you like a brother, nothing will ever change that” - the words of Edward McMillan simmered through the dark caverns of his mind. “Even if you grow to hate me, which I could never be able to blame you for, I will love you like family.” Liam could see Edward’s face as he spoke those words, seeming sincere, sorry perhaps? That didn’t quench the burning anger he had inside himself though, Liam thought Edward had been killed in battle, taunted by those around him as rumours spread that he were still alive, when all along he really was alive, he’d just betrayed them all and become another statistic to the German war machine. It was unthinkable and Liam felt deeply betrayed, torn from each limb, this was someone he considered family, yet he’d committed the worse betrayal - ever.

Attempting to withdraw himself from his thoughts, Liam gently rubbed his eyes and winced in pain, having forgotten the bruising and cuts he still had around his face; he hadn’t been back in England long, perhaps a couple of weeks at most and he still retained the many bruises and injuries he’d gained from fighting both the Germans in France and from Edward McMillan’s fanciful fists. Needless to say, Liam was dumbfound to find himself still alive, just a little worse for wares and recovering from his battle torn endeavours. Glancing down to his hands resting upon his lap, he clenched his fists and watched as the skin on his knuckles turned white beneath the dried blooded scabs he’d received from fighting Edward; his injuries were constant reminders now, reminders of who Edward was now and that one day, one day soon, Edward will be curdling in pain as he sunk an eight-inch blade into his belly.

Looking down upon the track Liam noticed Stephen Colly had arrived for his routine morning jog. It didn’t take long to find out where he could find the young boy, all you had to do was ask the right people and with some hope you got the right information. Liam wanted to speak with Stephen, the last time he had spoken to the young chap was a long time ago and their last acquaintances wasn’t exactly left on best terms, not when it included Edward in the conversation. All Liam remembered from that time, was pointing a gun at the boy’s head and threatening to kill him for the insubordination and insults he made to Edward’s whereabouts, that Edward was still alive and living. Liam disregarded those thoughts, he was grieving at best, but now he knew the truth for himself…

Rising from his seat, Liam began to make his way down the stairs of the audience stand and walked casually towards the track; he was dressed in his kaki brown field tunic and simply held onto his officer’s cap in one hand. He looked a little dishevelled, rough around the edges, like he hadn’t shaven in a few days and his bruises/cuts made him look beaten and tired, for certain, Liam had seen better times and waited patiently for Stephen to jog around the track, hoping he’d catch the boy’s attention on the return in. In some respect, Liam wouldn’t blame the boy if he decided to keep running in the opposite direction, he knew he had the affect on people.

[Stephen Colly]

He continued on, un aware of the person in the audience stands. He wasn’t concentrating on his surroundings, just to keep on running and keep his heart beat up. As he came round the bend for what felt like the fourth time, he noticed a figure in the distance coming down from the stands. He slowed slightly and as he came nearer, he recognised who it was. A man he hadn’t seen in a very long time.

The man was Liam Brentwood – a friend of Edward’s and a man who many in the army feared. He was an alcoholic – or was, perhaps not now – and a very bad temper. Stephen had witnessed this bad temper on one occasion a while back when he had told the Captain that Edward was alive. That had not gone down well and Stephen had come out bruised from that meeting. He had met his brother once, a long time ago too, who looked the spitting image of Brentwood but younger. That had been a bad meeting as well…

It had been two years since he had last seen him. And, as he got closer, he saw the man – like he too – was older and dishevelled. He was very tempted to turn around and run the other way but he knew that he must face up to the man. He was older now, he was braver.

He slowed his running to a walking pace as he got closer and stopped a few hundred yards from the Captain. ”Sir.” he saluted and dropped his hand again, watching the man cautiously. He wondered what he wanted, why had he come here? Perhaps to talk to him but why? They weren’t friends or anything. He swallowed and stared straight at him. ”A surprise, sir.”

[♔ Liam J. Brentwood]

As Stephen Colly noticed him from afar, Liam wondered whether the young man would take flight and run away, better still, he may just have ran straight passed Liam and decided to take another lap around the track. The thoughts were amusing and in all honesty, Liam didn’t quite know what the young man would do, but to his surprise, Stephen slowed in pace and gently jogged over - however, he didn’t venture closely to the Captain.

Taking a deep breath, Liam decided to close the gap and little and walked onto the track slowly. Sliding his hands into his pockets, he casually approached Stephen and smirked at Stephen a little. “Yes - surprise indeed” he simply added onto Stephen’s comments. “I’m surprised I’m even here” Liam added, which may have confused Stephen a little, why wouldn’t the Captain be there? Then again, by the looks of Liam Brentwood, it clearly showed he’d been through hell and back, with all the bruises, cuts and tiresome fatigued look of a dishevelled man he’d become over the past few weeks.

Stopping several feet away from Stephen, he kept the distance a little, not wanting to scare him off or feel too uncomfortable in the Captain’s presence. He knew the two of them didn’t exactly have the best history together, primarily because of his actions in the past, but nonetheless he was here today for a different reason other than violence or twisted happy times. “Walk with me, we’ve got much to discuss” Liam simply said to Stephen, as he began to walk down the track, preferably away from any eavesdropping coming from nearby, the discussion he was about to have with Stephen was confidential and between themselves - nobody else needed to know.

“I’ll simply get straight to the point, Stephen” Liam said with an impatient tone, not really wanting to beat around the bush on the subject he was here to discuss. “First of all - I don’t do this often, but I apologise for the way in which I have behaved in the past towards you. I wasn’t in a good place back then and being told that your recently deceased best friend and comrade was actually still alive, I took a little insulting at the time” he hoped in some way that Stephen did accept his apology, but he wasn’t here to just apologise to him. “I believe you, Edward is still alive” he said with a sense of revelation, the feeling of finally telling someone that he knew Edward McMillan was still alive seemed to take a lot of weight from off his shoulders.

Looking to Stephen, he waited to see his reactions, but knew they wouldn’t be much of surprise as it was Stephen who was first to know that Edward was still alive and kicking. “I saw Edward a few weeks back now, he had a lot to say for himself - tell me, what do you know off Edward’s current situation? Is there anything you can tell me that may… Help” Liam asked politely, wondering whether Stephen could tell him anything he knew of Edward’s current whereabouts perhaps or just anything he knew of Edward’s current situation that would help in finding him. Liam let Stephen think it over a little as they walked casually down the track, wondering what he would say.

[Stephen Colly]

As the Captain came closer, Stephen automatically became tense. He had had too many bad experiences with this man to feel safe around him. He had learnt to be on his guard. He was still trying to think why the man had come to see him. Why he had come on this sunny morning to talk with him after so long. It seemed an odd thing to do. But nevertheless, the Captain was here and he obviously wanted something so Stephen had better cooperate.

As the Captain then said for him to walk with him, Stephen did so but kept his distance slightly. They began to walk around the track and the boy listened in earnest to the Captain’s words. Interestingly, he was calling him by his first name whereas before it had always been rank (a Private at the time time) and surname. He has changed he thought. It was nice in a way.

He was very surprised by what was said. An apology? After so long. Gosh, things had really, really changed. ”Oh. Right, well…” he didn’t know quite what to say to all of this. Normally in most if not all circumstances it was him saying sorry to people. And the subject was also one that was very close to Stephen, and had been for many years now. Edward. He missed him. Everyone did. He felt a lump come to his throat as the Captain said that he believed him that he was alive. It was a relief that someone else knew and someone else believed him. The three times that Stephen had met with Edward had been painful and rather terrifying times, but then Stephen had had to come back to a place where no one else knew. Now, that had changed.


He raised his eyebrows and looked up at the Captain. ”Sir, it is nice of you to say that.” he looked away and kept on walking, wanting to hear more. The subject did not stop there however. ”I saw Edward a few weeks back now, he had a lot to say for himself – tell me, what do you know of Edward’s current situation? Is there anything you can tell me that may…Help.” Why? Why did he want to know that.

”Sir, I also saw Edward a few weeks ago. It must have been after you, for he told me about how he had met you. He was captured, him and a few of his men. But he escaped.” he didn’t want to go into the finer details of saying that he, Stephen, had let Edward escape. Though the Captain was being nice, he may not take that in a nice way.

”Sir, I might as well say that I have seen him in France rather a lot. Well, I say a lot of times but it is only about three times now.” he paused. ”However, regarding what you ask, I do not know much at all, sir. I don’t know what you are wanting of him but I believe that he will never come back to the Allied side. He is a good commander and they respect him, he told me that himself.” he bit his lip. He wasn’t sure how this was going to go, Brentwood could label him as a traitor… But then again, so was he.