Shell Shocked and Confused (McMillan)

[Stephen Colly]

The hospital was for once not as full as normal. It was around 18:00 hours, 7’oclock in normal terms and nurses were heading to beds which did have a wounded member of the army in. Stephen was in bed, he had just returned from France after five weeks of non stop attraction out in the battle.

He had a bandaged head, a bandaged arm and a dazed look and was slightly shell shocked; fighting for five and a half weeks in the centre of the battle was hard going on an 18 year old boy from rural part of Devon. He was clutching his hands and they were shaking, staring straight ahead and not listening or responding to anything or to anyone around him, he just stared on. To be honest the only real friendly face in the army was McMillan, a man he had first met and who he thought as a real friend but he didn’t have a clue where McMillan or the rest of his platoon was, because he had been sent out to France at short notice….

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

McMillan had gotten wind of an old friend that he had met when he first arrived in theater, first person that had had talked to for more than a few seconds. Colly was kind of a runt and McMillan had sort of taken him under his wing. He was an emotional kid and so far had been sent all over the dang place for long amounts of time at a moments notice. McMillan cared about him, one of the few that he did oddly enough, and he wasn't even in the same unit. He was walking down the sidewalk at a rather quick pace, his eyes darting about to see if there were any strange unit patches in the area, just to try and see if maybe they had hit a big spot of trouble, none were to be found, which relieved him foe a second until he thought that maybe it was too late, maybe they weren't there because no one form their unit was still there, breathing anyway. He skipped up the steps to the front door of the hospital, yanking the door open and almost knocking over a pair of privates in the process, they had started the say something until McMillan's shadow eclipsed them and they were face to face with his collar bone.

McMillan starred at the the receptionist "Colly...where is Colly?!" he watched as the lady thumbed through a chart, only to set it down a few seconds later and pick up another one. McMillan was tapping his fingers on the desk, become quite fed up with her, he started to grab the chart himself, not thinking about that fact that he didn't know what he would be looking at, when she said "Room 117 sir." McMillan stood there for a second as she started to look back at her work and did a double take back to him. He started to make a spinning motion with his right hand to let her know that she needed to give more information. "Down this hall on the right sir." McMillan spun on his heels and set out.

He glanced at every room number as he made his way down the hall, finally reaching room 117 and slid to a halt and peered in. "Colly? You in here?" he said as he stepped and looked down at the first bed and then at the second.

[Stephen Colly]

"Colly? You in here?"

The voice was distant but unmistakable as the voice of McMillan. The voice sounded like it had some sort of worriment in it as the voice and the person came closer, Stephen blinked a few times and turned his head to look at the approaching figure. His eyes didn’t really register with the figure but he could just about see the face and that was all he needed.

”McMillan….” he began to say, but then he heard what could have been a bomb going off but it was only someone dropping something, and his hands started shaking and his eyes looked straight ahead again. McMillan was like a father to him or a really great friend, he looked out for Stephen when he could but when Stephen went away he felt like he missed McMillan awfully. It had been a long time since he had seen the Company Sergeant and now the man was in the same room as him and Stephen couldn’t even talk to him very well.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

McMillan heard the weak voice of the boy trail through the room, he walked over to the bed and looked over Stephan, being bandaged up pretty good over his head and his arm. McMillan just clinched his lips and shook his head. "Yeah...it's me buddy..." he said somewhat softly, he looked over to the chair as he grabbed it and pulled it up to sit for a bit. the Jacket draped over it was Colly's, torn up from shrapnel and what seemed to have been a cut from a blade, possibly a bayonet, still decorated with a lone skeeter wing. "...you think they might ever give you a little more on here, after all you've been through and what not?" he tried to smile a bit to keep the mood light but it wasn't too easy. McMillan had just recently lost three men in France to a failed flanking maneuver and had yet to have high spirits.

I wish I could take him back to the Desert Rats, but he doesn't meet the requirements yet. McMillan thought to himself, ever since the RMC got folded into the 7AD and became the Desert Rats, transfers into the unit have become strict, they didn't see a lot of combat, but when they did it was intense to a great magnitude, so they were getting iffy on accepting a lot of new men with standard issue gear. "So....I take it the military doesn't like you huh?" he said with a small chuckle that faded quickly. If he is getting banged up this badly, I wonder how Joey is fairing. He dared not bring it up though, Stephan was in bad enough shape already and McMillan knew it to be a sensitive subject.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen heard McMillan speak, so it was him well that was alright, he now could listen in silence to see what McMillan would say to him. Stephen pushed himself gingerly up onto the pillows and looked over at McMillan and the jacket which was a torn wreck by now. He sighed and watched McMillan as he spoke.

"...you think they might ever give you a little more on here, after all you've been through and what not?"

Stephen saw that McMillan was trying to smile and lighten up the mood a bit, which wasn’t working, but Stephen tried to smile too and make McMillan not look so stupid. ”They say that they need all the men that they need.” he muttered looking down at his hands and then over to a photograph that stood on the table near by, it was of a horse and his boy, standing, the boy on top and the horse, a bay, standing with it’s ears pricked at something out of the camera shot.

Stephen looked back at McMillan as he spoke again and gave a roll of the eyes at him. ”I don’t think they do, I mean, what have I done wrong?” he said shrugging and looking back down at his hands, he looked up and glanced around the room, his eyes darting to every person then laying back on McMillan once more. ”What is up with you now-a-days?” he asked the sergeant.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

"Well, nothing to good really. Had a tough run...in...France..." McMillan kind of trailed off as he spoke of France. "...bout got killed in Africa, got transferred into a new unit, again, but we have a lot of the same guys thankfully, same commander too." He was just making small talk, Stephan probably had too much drugs in him to remember it all anyway. McMillan stood up and walked over toward the window, looking out. He glanced down to the table, noticing a picture frame held together with anything possible, a couple bent and rusted nails, the paint had mostly flaked off and the glass in it had a small crack in the corner that ran along the bottom. McMillan picked it up.

"Still lookin...?" he asked, wincing on the inside hoping for silence and words, not moans and tears, placing the picture back and looking over his shoulder toward Stephan. McMillan walked over to the door and peaked out, both ways, no nurses or medical staff, then walked over to Colly, pulled out a cigarette and held it out. "Might as well, I figure you could use something to help calm you a bit, and if they come running I'll take the blame, hell I'm gonna burn one too." he said as he slid it behind the boy's ear and walked over to the window, sliding it open for a bit of ventilation, pressing a smoke between his own lips, lighting it and setting the lighter in Stephan's hand.

[Stephen Colly]

McMillan started to talk about France, but it wasn’t registering with Stephen as he did indeed have too many drugs to really have a proper conversation with someone. McMillan had gone to stand by the window and looked out, Stephen watched McMillan’s eyes as they went to the photo frame and picture which was indeed falling apart as it had been out to France and back 3 times.

"Still lookin...?"

Stephen nodded, tears did not come to his eyes as he thought of his beloved horse, ”In France, I looked at all the horses going to the front or the carts of dead ones, trying to see if Joey was there….” Stephen trailed off and looked away, staring at his hands. He heard McMillan walk away then come back and place a cigarette behind Stephen’s ear. Stephen took it and a weak, flitter of a smile crept over his face as McMillan then handed him the lighter.

”Thanks.” he said, and lit the cigarette, pushing it to his lips and inhaling then letting the smoke drift away into the air. ”Haven’t had one of theses for ages, weeks I think…they keep me off it, says it would damage me even more…well, what else could when I’m already damaged as it is!” Stephen said, looking over at McMillan.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

McMillan thought about it hurting the man, he didn't think it could be too bad, might clam him a bit if the drugs hadn't done that too much already. At least he could have a bit of freedom for the few minutes it would take to smoke one. Colly kept looking at his hands, were they injured? Had he taken a man's life and now be remorseful of the incident? McMillan didn't know and he didn't want to touch on a sensitive subject, he figured he would at least wait until the cigarette had been enjoyed before trying it. He took a nice long drag and sat back on the stool in the room, not too comfortable but it did the job, then blew the smoke towards the window.

"Bet you have some stories huh?" then McMillan realized that he may as well have asked the dumb question, but it was to late now anyway. He just hoped that they weren't so bad that he ruined the first time he got to see that guy in ages. He slid the stool over to the bed. "Got a bedpan? We are gonna need to put these ashes in something." McMillan asked with a small smile and a quick wink as he took another drag and reached out for his lighter, palm up so he wasn't saying give it back, just hey, I might need that.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen took a deep take in of breath and realized it, shutting his eyes, he felt much better as if the weight of the war had been lifted from his shoulders, and he opened his eyes and looked over at McMillan who was speaking again. Stories…yeah…Stephen had stories, stories that he didn’t like to talk about but he felt he had to after what had happened out in France.

"Got a bedpan? We are gonna need to put these ashes in something."

McMillan had come over to the bed, ”Yeah.” Stephen said, he reached over to the table next to the bed, gently and pulled out a bedpan, ”Here.” he said setting it on his knees and looking from McMillan’s hand to the lighter in his, ”Oh, sorry.” he muttered and gave it back to the sergeant quickly.
He took another puff of the cigarette, soon enough it was nearly gone so Stephen chucked it into the bed pan and it burnt out. ”You know something.” Stephen said, staring ahead, suddenly wanting to start conversation, it seemed the cigarette had made him lighten up - ”One night in France, this is going completely off the subject, but…for the first time…I made out with a girl…” he looked over at McMillan, a boyish look on his face as if he had gone something bad. He grinned and looked away back down to his hands.
It seemed as if the drugs were going to his head a bit, the smile was suddenly plastered onto his face like it wasn’t meant to and his hands started to shake again.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

McMillan listened as Colly spoke of France and finished his cigarette, McMillan heard it fizzle out and looked at his own, only half finished, McMillan figured it had been a while being the reason he pretty much inhaled the thing in one deep breath. McMillan just continued to smoke as Colly began to speak of his close encounter with a female. "Why you scoundrel, hahaa!" McMillan smiled a bit a short laugh escaped him.

McMillan finished his cigarette and tossed it to join Colly's in the bedpan and blew the last bit of smoke out as a nurse passed by the door, thankfully no noticing. "So tell me, how, in the mist of all the chaos over there, did you find time to speak with a woman, even more so, how did you persuade her to be so nice to you?" McMillan winked as he finished up his question, fidgeting a bit in his seat, Colly's stories were the only ones worth listening to these days, they were the only ones that still had any feeling tied to them. Branigan's tended to as well, but it had been to long since McMillan had seen that guy as well.

McMillan had received a letter from Colly, actually not long before he found out that he was in this hospital. He just figured that he would mention that after the story was over. Besides it seemed as if Colly was pretty proud of himself and wanted to talk of it, no need to interrupt him.

[Stephen Colly]

McMillan had received a letter from Colly, actually not long before he found out that he was in this hospital. He just figured that he would mention that after the story was over. Besides it seemed as if Colly was pretty proud of himself and wanted to talk of it, no need to interrupt him.

Stephen grinned and watched McMillan chuck his cigarette, the nurse came in and he glanced over at the smoke that was drifting around the room slowly, luckily the nurse didn’t notice. ”So nice to me? Are you saying I’m not friendly?” Stephen laughed and shrugged. ”We were told to come back behind the lines for a rest, a night or two and like all soldiers spent it in a pub back, behind lines…and this women, I think her name was Alice or something like that, got chatting…she was raised on a French farm! And she had a horse, it was a French horse!” Stephen stared past McMillan into the distance as if he was remembering it there and then. ”Well, it went on from there really.” Stephen then looked back at McMillan and smiled, ”It was amazing.” he said, laughing slightly. The older man was one of his bests friends and he feared that maybe, if he or McMillan got killed, they wouldn’t be able to live happy ever again.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

"I didn't use the word scoundrel for nothing." McMillan said with a big smile and a wink. He listened as Colly seemed to glow while talking about the his small amount of free time in France, smiled a bit right along with the boy. The he spoke about the fact that she had a horse and he almost lit up. McMillan was very happen for him, almost overjoyed even. Colly never seemed to get much attention from anyone but McMillan so he was always happy to see Colly. Colly was sort of McMillan's tie to humanity, he was able to have feelings around Colly and therefore they had a bond that no one could tear away.

McMillan puled the letter out of his pocket, it was folded in half and slid inside a plastic bag with a rubber band around it, just to keep the sweat, rain, and possibly blood from ruining it. "Thanks for this buddy, it really meant a lot, and don't tell anyone, but I got a little misty." McMillan said as he rested a hand on the young man's shoulder and paused for a second or two. "So are you gonna write her? She got a name?" McMillan asked as he twisted a bit where he was sitting, becoming very interested in this story.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen laughed as McMillan said about him being a scoundrel. McMillan gave Stephen a wink and Stephen grinned back. McMillan was a great friend, he kept thinking that over and over but to tell you the truth, McMillan had been the only friend in the whole army. Stephen felt the same way, he could talk about feelings around McMillan that he couldn’t around anyone else.

Stephen’s eyes went down to the letter and he couldn’t remember what it was but then it hit him, oh yes he had sent McMillan a letter a few days ago. He was surprised when McMillan had said that it had made him slightly upset. ”It’s alright. I meant what I said.” Stephen said as McMillan rested a hand on his shoulder.

"So are you gonna write her? She got a name?"

”I might do.” Stephen shrugged, ”Her name was Alice and she did give me her address for me to write to her but I think I lost the piece of paper.” Stephen started to frown and looked around as if trying to remember where it had gone. Stephen shrugged, ”What about you? Did you meet anyone out in France?” Stephen asked as he shifted up the bed, a pained expression on his face as his stitches started to hurt.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

McMillan nodded as Colly talked of writing her, but said he had lost the paper with her information. "Well I hope it turns up and you are able to." McMillan hoped as he stuck the letter back into the plastic bag and slid it into his chest pocket. "France? Naw, barely had time to get out of there when we had the chance, pretty rough fight, sounded like artillery was lighting the place up when we pulled back." McMillan thought for a bit, he wanted to tell Colly what was in store, but he didn't want to worry the man, but he also knew that if he said nothing it would probably be worse.

"We received a bit of intel. The snake has reared his ugly head, and I'm going to go cut it off, unforteunately..." McMillan paused, he was afraid that this would not come out well in the end, but he had to take the chance at trying to do something in this war. "...it is in the heart of the enemy." McMillan hoped Colly would understand. This was a huge opportunity and the Allies seemed to think that once again, he was the man for the job.

McMillan looked at his watch and stood up. "Is there anything I can do for you before I go and get ready to move out?" he asked, hoping it would not be the last time the pair would meet.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen listened to McMillan speak, the man had been though the mill in France obviously. McMillan’s face seemed sad as he stopped speaking, he was thinking about something and Stephen wanted to know what that someone was.

McMillan started to speak in code it seemed but to Stephen it meant that McMillan was going into battle, it seemed that it would be a rough battlefield. ”But…” Stephen trailed off, and McMillan stood up, a worried expression crossed over Stephen’s face as McMillan told he had to leave.

”But this could be the last time we see each other.” he trailed off again. ”I might not see you again, do you have to go now?” he asked, looking at McMillan and sitting up a bit more.