All Alone (OPEN)

[Stephen Colly]

It had been two days since they had heard the news of Edward McMillan death, it had upset the whole camp, the whole army really as Edward had been a great person and someone to look up to, Stephen Colly had been one of McMillan’s closest friends. There was rumours that the two loved each other, well Stephen definitely did but he didn’t want to admit it, he was going to confess his feelings to Edward when he came back but now that Edward was dead…he couldn’t seem to tell anyone, it felt too personal and he was just scared and confused.

He made his way down the rutted track towards the tracks and fields that stood near the edge of the barracks. It was evening so most men were making their way back towards the bunks and dinning rooms for food and bed, but not Stephen…
The private came to the field where he had first met Edward and stared out into the dieing sun, the sun shone on to Stephen’s face, making it become slightly hot.
He put his hands into his uniform pockets and sat down on the grass, leaning against the fence, his eyes started to fill with tears again as he thought of McMillan and how much the man had done for him, all the memories of their meetings together came flooding back into the Private’s mind.

He wrenched clumps of grass out of the ground just to entertain himself, he didn’t want to go back into the noise of the rooms and halls tonight, he just wanted to stay out here until he died of coldness or whatever; a slight wind rustled the top of Stephen’s head as he sat quietly, a few tears running down his face.

[Nathan Whyte]

Melancholy.

The sorrow of the departure had fallen on the camp, a blanket of darkness engulfing every last corner, even the usually jovial bar. Instead of the usual hive of activity, men walked heads and shoulders bowed in groups no bigger than two or three. Nathan was on his own, not particularly going anywhere, just…. Going.

If it was any comfort, the sun had set and the last few streams of people going to visit the graves where throwing immense shadows over the ground. He let out a sigh as he just stopped; almost directly centre in the parade ground. He just stood and watched. Would Edward be pleased with all these people coming to commemorate him? Probably not, he wasn’t one to make a big fuss, he just… dealt with it.

Dealing with it. Everyone set about it differently, some went with friends, family, and others drove on alone. This was the first major loss for Nathan and he was struggling to deal with it. He tried being on his own, trying to clear his mind. It just wasn’t working for him, he couldn’t drive it away from him, he couldn’t bring anything into his mind other than McMillan…. McMillan dead.

He just looked upwards, feeling the dwindling rays of light from the disappearing sun play across his chest. He couldn’t help but think McMillan was like the sun. He hadn’t gone, he would be back. He would return to everyone, he couldn’t leave them…. Could he?

He let his head fall again and carried on his wandering. To bed he though, I’ll be stronger in the morning, I’ll have to deal with it then. He almost did as well, until he spotted the soft-faced Private he had helped at the funeral leant against the wall. He slowly walked over, giving the boy every chance to turn, to leave, to signal something. Somehow, part of Nathan didn’t want to talk to him, just to leave him be, be on his own. He decided to test the waters, a single word. ”Hey.” It couldn’t do any harm, nothing could do more harm than what had just happened, the…. Death.

[Stephen Colly]

”Hey.”

A soft voice was heard behind Stephen, a shadow cast over the ground as a man stood way above the boy, looking up, he saw it was the man who had helped him at the funeral the other day, that other…awful day that he didn’t need reminding of, that funeral had been torture for Stephen and for many others as well most likely.
“Hello.” came the reply, soft and quiet as Stephen turned back and stared down at the grass again, pulling it up by the tuffs. He was awaiting the shadow to either leave or sit down next to him. He lent against the wall quietly and stared up at the sun.

His eyes went back to that of the Flight Sergeant who was still towering above him and gave a soft smile but it faded as quickly as it had come. Death was an awful thing, it was alright if the person was old or dying, but to just have a life taken away from someone with a click of a trigger was just unbearable. This war…what was the point of the blood slaughter? What was the point of the First World War in the first place? If the Great War hadn’t happened then this stupid, idiotic war wouldn’t have happened. God only knows what lay beyond France, what was going on in Germany, in Poland at this moment, were they all sitting around mourning the death of a friend, most likely yes and most likely no…Stephen’s thoughts were mixed up and confused as he waited for the reply of the sergeant.

[Nathan Whyte]

Nathan returned the soft smile and pulled a hand from out of the pockets. He sighed; the Private seemed completely fucked over by the whole affair. Nathan placed a comforting hand on the boys shoulder and gently spun him around. ”How you holding up mate?” His voice was soft as he said that, his New Zealand tones a gentle soothing voice. He really did feel sorry for the young man; he had been extremely close to McMillan, closer than most people ever got to the man. ”I was just going to go and see him. Do you, I mean…”

He trailed off, he wasn’t exactly sure how to say it, how do you tell somebody so effected you’re going to stand over your dead mate and say a few things to him even though he’s not going to hear anything? Humans were bloody awkward creatures. But it seemed the right thing to do at least, to let him know you harboured no grudges about him leaving, it would hopefully set Nathan at calm, if nothing else.

[Stephen Colly]

A hand was placed on Stephen’s shoulder and he felt his whole body being spun around to face the Sergeant, he looked up as Nathan spoke.

”How you holding up mate?”

”I’ve been better.” Stephen muttered shrugging softly and looking down, not meeting the man’s eyes, it felt too awkward. ”I was just going to go and see him. Do you, I mean…”
Stephen nodded softly, he hadn’t actually been anywhere near Edward’s body since the funeral and so he wanted to pay his last respects to the man.

Getting up quickly, he swayed slightly as he stood on his feet but nodded, calming himself and looked up at Nathan. ”I’m Stephen by the way.” he muttered.

OOC - Sorry it's short got to go!

[Nathan Whyte]

”Nathan.” He extended a hand, cracking a small, fleeting smile, one unusual around the camp in recent days after McMillan had gone missing. There really was little to be happy about. He helped Stephen to his feet. He grabbed the boys shoulder so he didn’t collapse.

He squeezed him around the shoulder once, trying to comfort him as he turned him towards the graveyard, straight into the suns rays. He squinted as he let his arm fall to his side, his flying boots clinking against the concrete, rhythmically as Nathan took his deep stride. ”You were pretty close to Ed, weren’t you?” He didn’t want to make this awkward even anymore than it had to be, but Edward was the only discussion topic he could think off. He would have to be very careful to avoid stepping onto tender ground, the last thing he wanted to do was distress the Private even more.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen grabbed hold of Nathan’s hand and sort of half shook it as he introduced himself. He saw a small smile on Nathan’s face; it truly was the only smile he had seen for days on anyone’s faces apart from his own which wasn’t often he smiled anyway. Nathan had grabbed Stephen’s shoulders and squeezed them, Stephen fold he was facing right into the sun at that point so shaded his eyes as he followed Nathan towards the graveyard that stood; alone and silent, on the hill.

“You were pretty close to Ed, weren’t you?”

Stephen had been waiting for the subject to turn to Edward McMillan again, which it had pretty quickly. It seemed to be the only thing that was on everyone’s lips…the death of Edward McMillan...
Stephen looked up towards the sky, thinking how to word his answer and not make it sound idiotic. ”Yeah, I was.” his voice was stronger then it had been, he was trying to be strong like Edward had been. ”He was a real nice friend.” he muttered as an after thought, stuffing his hands in his pockets as they walked, Nathan’s stride much longer than his own.

”Were you good friends with him?” he asked Nathan, looking up at the man as they walked on.

[Nathan Whyte]

Nathan nodded at Stephen, lapsing into silence for a few seconds as the pair walked onwards. ”I was, well, at least I like to think I was quite close to McMillan. We were mates, yeah.” His voice trailed off at the end of the sentence, hit by a sudden lack of things to say. He took a random stab at the first thing off of his tongue, ”So, how long have you been in the army then?” It wasn’t the most riveting of conversation starters, but it would have to do. Hopefully Stephen would recognise this.

He swung open the wrought-iron gate of the church and held it open for Stephen. ”There you go mate,” he said softly as he ushered Stephen through¸ ”Let’s go find him, shall we?” He cast his eyes around, McMillan had only wanted a simple grave, a simple headstone to mark his eternal rest, which didn’t make it easy trying to locate it. The throng of people surrounding it, however, did.

[Stephen Colly]

Nathan’s voice trailed off as they stopped talking again and lapsed into another few minutes of silence until he started to sing up again. ”So, how long have you been in the army then?”
”When I turned 18 so…a couple of months ago…nine months ago I think.” Stephen spoke, it wasn’t the most riveting topic conversation that could be talked about but it was something from getting out of the awkward silence.

Nathan held the gate open for Stephen when they reached the graveyard, and he smiled, and stepped through into the churchyard. ”Thanks.” he said, closing the gate behind him, hearing the clang of it as it shut, it was a loud noise compared to the silence and sadness of the graveyard. Stephen looked up, hoping to see no one at McMillan’s grave but that was proved to be a hope that did not last long. About six or seven people stood around the simple grave. ”Oh great.” Stephen muttered as he approached the spot.

[Nathan Whyte]

Nathan nodded as Stephen talked, trying to turn it into something he could speak about, break the awkwardness. Silence was good sometimes, but there was too much on the base at the moment, too much depression pulling everyone down, not just pulling, but pushing them, trying to mould them into a work of sadness. It was as if the German war machine finally had a half-decent weapon at their disposal. Edward.

”I’ve been in the Air Force a couple of years, now.” He said, uninvited but desperate for conversation, ”I reckon I can’t have much longer, though. People don’t tend to last too long in my line of work, but it’s gotten a lot safer now the Channel is secure.”

”We can come back later if you like?’’ He asked as they looked at the throng assembled around the simple memory to McMillan. He thought about what he had said for a second before walking up to the others. ”Hey, do you guys think you could give us a minute or three? We just need to say farewell, we both knew Ed really well, y’know?”

[Stephen Colly]

A strange feeling and worriment had struck Stephen ever since that day at the churchyard when Brentwood had shouted out that McMillan’s body wasn’t in the coffin like they all thought…why was that? Surely McMillan, one of the most respected men in the army would turn against his own army and friends and go and join the Hun?

Stephen looked on at the mass of people, hearing Nathan’s voice but not really concentrating on what he man was saying, he caught the words Air Force and people not lasting long in his line of work…his mind wasn’t really focusing on anything, it hadn’t been for a couple of days and he had been shouted at by his officer a number of times for not paying attention.

The people around McMillan’s simple grave weren’t moving until Nathan spoke to them, asking to give the two of them a minute or three because they knew Edward well. The throng of men all looked at each other, muttered a few words and nodded, trooping back towards the exit of the graveyard as if they were going to go but they all stopped and lent against the railings. Stephen watched them talk together rudely and then went over to Edward’s grave, it was a simple head stone with a mass of flowers surrounding it.

Stephen kneeled down and knelt on the grass, silently, staring blankly at the headstone with out saying a word, as if McMillan was staring back at him, the kind face of the man who he had grown to love very much. ”He was always kind.” Stephen muttered, glancing up at Nathan, his eyes on the edge of tears but he was holding himself together for once.

[Nathan Whyte]

Nathan clapped Colly on the back, standing high, a sentinel, a guard. Nathan looked down at Colly, the young boy's eyes swimming behind a mist veil. He nodded, sagely at Stephen's comment blinking rapidly to try and wash his own tears away.

"Once you got past that bull-dog on the outside, he was...." Nathan couldn't finish it, the words wouldn't come out. "Y'know?" He looked up at the sky. He found a lot of comfort into looking at the deep azure abyss. The lazy clouds making their way from one side to the other, heading towards the horizon, not a care in the world. An idyllic life, it seemed, to be a cloud. He wondered if McMillan was up on one, looking down. It just didn't feel right, though.

"Sometimes.... Sometimes I get the feeling he isn't dead. He shouldn't be. Ed can't be dead, he has to be." He twirled his fingers, absently. "Somewhere?" He offered his hand to Stephen. "Do you want to say a small prayer, or something?"

[Stephen Colly]

Nathan made a funny remark and clasped his hand on Stephen’s back, clapping it like he was a guard, a person who would look upon someone with kindness and safely. He could tell in Nathan’s voice that the man was upset as Stephen, the private nodded quickly as if to say he understood what Nathan said and didn’t have to go on.

Stephen glanced up at the sky, the clouds were moving slowly and gently over the blue sky, they didn’t have a care in the world about life or death, they just floated across the sky, observing the slaughter down on earth, why was life so easy for them when it was so hard and tuff for the humans on the ground? a bird twittered far off in the distant and suddenly birdsong filled the silent and lonely air. Those birds didn’t have to go through war, they just flew about looking after their chicks…Stephen remembered the days on the farm when he was young, walking out into the fields with his father and watching the birds, his father used to say that his favourite breed was the robin as one single robin had been in the trenches with the men in the Great War and had stayed with the men all through about the winter of 1916…

”No…Ed can’t be dead…he has to be somewhere.” Stephen said, his voice shaking slightly, his eyes strayed up to Nathan’s face as the older man offered him his hand and Stephen took it, standing up quickly. ”I think I’ll be Ok, I sort of said something just then.” he muttered as he looked down at the gravestone once more. ”If you would like to say something then that’s fine.” Stephen said quickly, looking over at Nathan, ”I think every day that Ed can’t be dead, it just doesn’t fit with anything…I mean…I mean…-“ he broke off and bit his lip, tears welling up again, ”All the soldiers think I’m a wimp, you probably do to.” he muttered…”B-but Ed never did…”

[Nathan Whyte]

"I'm not all that religious," Nathan explained, blushing slightly, "I just thought you might want to, well, I don't know." He looked away, this time focusing on the graven stone sticking out of the ground. Barely two meters from Nathan, was Edwards, or atleast supposedly was Edward's body. It was ever so slightly spooky.

Edward Scott McMillan

December 22nd 1911
~to~
September 15th 1944

Beloved Brother and
Battle Hardened Veteran

May his passing
bear the burden
for our Freedom

All the good men bore the burden, made the sacrifice for the innocent, for their friends and families to live onwards, to enjoy the freedom of their lives as they should do. The best are always the first to go.

"Stephen, I don't think that at all. I saw how you and Edward were like brothers, this is going to hit you harder than anyone else I can think of. You're doing really well mate. I'm going to be here for you all the way, okay? If you ever need somebody to talk to about this, come and find me, I'll see you straight away."

Nathan took a look at his wristwatch before speaking again. "I'm sorry, but, slightly ironically, I have to run, now. Patterson would like to see me, and you know what a stickler he is. I'll see you around, OK mate."

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

Moderation Post

The following CP has been issued:

Knight - 8CP A few of your posts were under the minimum

Colly - 9CP You had a couple as well, but not as many

-JT