The Priest and The Pariah [Colly]

[Hendrick Davidson]

Country: Exeter, England
Current Time: Morning
Area/Setting: An old church in Exeter, flanked by a beautiful, peaceful cemetery.
Weather Conditions: A cloudy summer morning. There has been a small spot of rain during the night and the morning air has a pleasant, fresh smell.

Hendrick's hand travelled slowly along the back of the redwood church pew as he walked between the rows of long benches. The old church seemed so very quiet now that Hendrick was there alone. It had been full of people just moments ago and the walls had echoed both with the words of the local minister and with the singing of the entire congregation. These times of war had urged many to attend the Sunday sermons more vigorously than usually. They had sons, husbands, friends and relatives fighting against the Axis powers on different fronts and saying prayers for them gave them hope. Some people had already felt the brunt of losing someone and they visited the church to pay their respects to those who had fallen in battle. They were dark, difficult times, but at least the church shed some light into the bleak gloom of wartime England.

Even though Hendrick enjoyed preaching and also just listening to the good word of God, he admitted that he often found these quiet times more enjoyable. He had learned to appreciate the hushed, serene atmosphere of an empty church and when he was on his own, he felt somehow closer to God, be it either on the road or in a beautiful church such as this one. The young, light-haired priest was wearing the outfit he was seen wearing most of the times - a simple pair of black trousers, a black clergy shirt and leather shoes of matching colour - the white clerical tab was partly visible from under the collar of the dark shirt. Hendrick was obviously quite young for a priest and having lived such a mobile life during his time in England, his light hair had grown slightly longer than he had intended. It had started creeping over his ears and also over the collar of his shirt by now - Hendrick had really meant to do something about it, but there had been no opportunities for such trivialities. He was always travelling from one town to another, living mostly on the good will of others, doing whatever clerical jobs available to pay for his upkeep. It wasn't a very illustrious way of living, but he felt he was following God's guidance and that He would watch out for him. The Lord would lead him to places where he was needed, provide for him and protect him from harm, should any fall on him. Hendrick had been quite skeptical when he had left Pennsylvania for such a seemingly absurd quest, but he felt very confident and happy about it now - he knew he was doing God's work and he had grown to enjoy travelling around, even if it was a very solitary way to live.

He had now stopped in Exeter and attended the Sunday Mass, helping the local priest with setting up things for the sermon and doing small but necessary tasks around the church. In exchange for his help Father Gilford had given him permission to spend his nights in a small, modest room situated in the church and had even offered to provided Hendrick with food. The American had figured that he would stay in Exeter for a few days more, but he did not want to overuse other people's hospitality, not even when he provided help to them in return. He would move on soon enough.

Right now he was checking the church pews for any forgotten items or hymn books, making sure that places looked neat after the Sunday mass. As always, the young priest was lost in his own thoughts and his thoughts skipped from England to Pennsylvania, then to Finland, where his twin brother had last travelled off to. Hendrick had not heard of him since and even though he worried over his brother's safety, somehow he knew that Fredrick was safe. Maybe it was some divine knowledge or maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were twins, but he was certain that Fredrick was all right. Hendrick leaned down to pick up a thin black book from one of the seats and he tapped his fingers absentmindedly on it's cover, staring at one of the colourfully decorated glass windows of the church. God would look out for both of them.

[Stephen Colly]

”Lord of all hopefulness, lord of all joy…”

The last few lines of the last hymn that had ended the Sunday Mass echoed around Stephen’s head and rang in his ears. He enjoyed singing such hymns as the ones he had sung in that little church today.

Stephen and his family had just attended the annual Sunday Mass. Stephen had come to visit his family for the weekend; he’d be going back to the army on Wednesday and wouldn’t see them for a good few months or so. The service had been the normal Sunday one, a few prayers for the fighting men, a good few rousing songs and a word or two from the minister in charge.

He walked along the cobbled path towards the gate, glancing at a few of the headstones along the way. A majority of the headstones were of old people who had died in the 19th Century. A few were from the First war and another few were from the years in between the two wars. He glanced around, trying to spot a person who he had noticed at the service – a priest who he wanted to talk to.

People were walking towards him, a couple of old ladies in feathery hats, gossiping amongst themselves and walked past him. A man and his wife with their small children; a young army couple; a few of his father’s friends; so many people…

”Stephen, dear?”
He turned to see his mother looking over at him, she had stopped on the path, her husband and Stephen’s father was already making his way to the pub with a few other men who had just finished the service.

”I’ll catch you up, mother. I think I forgot something. Don’t wait for me.” he side-stepped a few people and briskly walked along the path back towards the church entrance. He smiled softly at the little old cleaner who had just closed the door, a bucket and mop in his hands and watched as the little old man hobbled off down the path with said bucket and mop.

He put a hand on the knob of the church door and turned it, stepping inside and feeling at once better. The church was a magical place, a place where no one but God could really judge you. The air held a slight mustiness to it; dust floated in the air and travelled in front of Stephen’s eyesight. He straightened the uniform he was wearing – a British Corporal – and took off his cap, ruffling his hair. The church was slightly cold as well; all churches seemed cold but it wasn’t too cold, it was cool and the beautiful light that streamed in through the glass windows cast a beautiful light over the pews.

He saw a figure nearby; it was the priest he had seen. They weren’t anyone else around which was good. He coughed slightly, to make sure the man wasn’t to be startled when seeing a man appearing suddenly when the church service had ended. The boy ran his fingers along one of the pews as he walked down towards the man, his footsteps echoing on the stone floor.

”Sir, I am sorry to disturb you.” he spoke clearly as he approached the priest. He stopped and stood a few feet away from the man, looking up at the stain-glassed window. It was beautiful. Jesus stood amongst the angels of heaven, with a ring of gold around his head and the angels looking up at him adoringly.
”Sir, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something. I am going back to the front soon and…and I need to speak to you. I hope you don’t mind.”

The priest looked young, younger than Stephen had expected. Could priests be as young as the one standing in front of him? Obviously they could in this day and age. He was quite good-looking for a priest, blonde, longish hair and sparkling eyes – What was he thinking?! Had he just thought that?!

”I have sinned sir.” he quickly said, biting his lip and shaking slightly. Was this now a good idea?

[Hendrick Davidson]

The soft cough from the door caught Hendrick's attention and the man averted his gaze from the decorated window to witness a young soldier making his way towards him. The black-clad man turned around and half-smiled at the soldier to show him that he had noticed the newcomer and that he wasn't particularly busy with anything. The Corporal looked almost too boyish for his uniform, far too young to be fighting on the front. There was a measure of childish innocence to his features and he looked more like a boy who should have still been living a care-free life instead of carrying a rifle into a battle. ”Sir, I am sorry to disturb you,” the young soldier said, holding a cap in his hands and looking quite confused with his ruffled sandy hair. Hendrick shook his head and smiled more openly. "You're not disturbing me the slightest, don't worry," the priest assured, revealing his distinct American accent. It was of course slightly odd to find a young American priest in the middle of Exeter, but then again, many strange things happened during the war and people were rarely interested enough to question the man of his origins.

"Sir, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something. I am going back to the front soon and…and I need to speak to you. I hope you don’t mind. I have sinned sir," the young Corporal said quickly, biting his lip and growing ever more nervous. Hendrick only nodded, his expression solemn and just as kindly as earlier. "Father Hendrick. Listening and talking is why I'm here, of course, do not look so troubled," the man said, his voice carrying a low, gentle vibration to it. The young priest glanced around and nodded towards the pew he was standing in front of. "Let's sit down," the man suggested, sitting down slowly and placing the hymn book down on the bench. The priest waited quietly until the Corporal had taken a seat next to him and Hendrick's blue eyes shifted to the young man, a small and inquisitive smile still lingering on his lips.

Hendrick had talked to many soldiers during his stay in England and offered them his advice and prayers. Most of them were afraid of the gruesome fate that might await them out on the front, but some wanted merely to express their concern over the families they were leaving behind - how would they manage, would they have enough food, would they be safe from the German bombs? Hendrick had listened to it all and prayed with them, comforted them with his words. He could only suspect that since the Corporal was so young, he did not have any family and merely wanted to confess his sins before returning back to the front.

Hendrick crossed his fingers and rested his hands in his lap, sitting comfortably back in the wooden bench. "Now tell me what troubles you, Corporal...?" Hendrick arched an eyebrow questioningly, he did not remember catching the young man's name.

[Stephen Colly]

"You're not disturbing me the slightest, don't worry,"

That was good…was that accent American? It sounded like it. Odd to find such an accent coming from a priest but these times were odd times so actually…never mind.

"Father Hendrick. Listening and talking is why I'm here, of course, do not look so troubled.”

He seemed a very kind man, this priest. He spoke kindly, his words soft and gentle. Wasn’t that what priests were like anyway? Stephen found it odd that such a young man was a priest. Normally they were old, balding, grey haired ones who were so traditional and set in their own, old ways that one could not have a decent conversation without having a lecture about God and how bad the world was coming to or something along those lines…

The priest offered Stephen and seat and the boy rushed over to it, nearly tripping over the pew entrance as he stumbled in and sat down on the wooden bench. He glanced over at the older man, giving a small smile of thanks.

"Now tell me what troubles you, Corporal...?"

”Colly. Corporal Stephen Colly.” he said quickly, realizing he hadn’t introduced himself. ”I saw you, Father Hendrick, at the service just now.” he glanced around; the church was empty, it was just the two of them, alone. Good.

”What is troubling me sir, is…is that I have sinned and…” he paused and then continued, ”Is that I love…love…” he stopped again, ”I had this friend and he sort of died and I realized that I liked him more than I like many friends…and I believe that I have sinned because I love…men, physically and emotionally and I know it’s a sin to do that and…and I shouldn’t and its wrong and I just need help…”

He blurted all this out and then stopped short. Frowning, he stared out at the stained-glass window at the front of the church.
To say that Stephen wanted to be converted isn’t strictly true. He wanted advice, he wanted help, and having said all this, maybe in actual fact, he wanted to be normal. Apparently homosexuality or being a homosexual was something that could be stamped out of a person and apparently it had been done so but Stephen wasn’t too sure. He was just so confused with his feelings towards men and in particular Edward McMillan. Ever since he had kissed the man in their last meeting and how Edward had jumped back in sudden shock and horror and declared him a mad-man, Stephen had hate himself for the good part of over a month…why couldn’t he be like Daniel? Or Nathan? Or Edward? Or Liam Brentwood even? Maybe he just was never going to be like them and that he’d hate himself for ever.

[Hendrick Davidson]

The priest nodded solemnly when the Corporal introduced himself as Stephen Colly, somehow the name seemed to fit his youthful appearance. He allowed the soldier a small smile when he mentioned that he had seen the priest in the service earlier. Obviously this young man had chosen to speak to Hendrick specifically and it wasn't too difficult to figure out why. Most of the older priests were known to be quite stuck up in their ways and they would not spare their angry words when confronted with particularly heavy sins. Well, any kind of sin at all would be judged quite heavily by them, for that matter.

Hendrick considered himself just as adept and devoted as any of the other priests, but he had decided to show a little more compassion than the older members of the clergy. His mentor back in Pennsylvania had noticed this trait in Hendrick and had put it on the account of his youth and lack of experience. In a way it was true, Hendrick had not been a priest for very long and, at least for now, he had managed to retain a good measure of almost childish innocence. It was something that most people were stripped off when they were faced with the hardships of life, but Hendrick had enjoyed a busy, but very sheltered childhood. Still, he was certain he did not want to change, he did not want to get all "toughened up" as he had been told. Hendrick had a genuine desire to help people and he had figured that if he truly wanted to bring people to God's grace, the best way to achieve that would be through sympathy and understanding.

When Stephen Colly started talking, Hendrick listened to him silently, ready to comfort the young man over whatever small sins he might have committed. It was difficult to keep that neutral and benevolent expression when Stephen got to the part where he admitted that he loved men, both physically and emotionally. Hendrick raised his eyebrows purely out of surprise - he had never before been confronted with a situation like this. The Corporal admitted that he was a homosexual? Hendrick had never met one before, at least not to his knowledge, and it certainly was a subject one did not discuss very openly. It made the young priest feel uneasy and confused and for a few fleeting seconds his feelings were reflected on his features, no matter how much he tried to appear neutral.

He tried to shake off the confusion quickly and, blinking his pale blue eyes a few times, Hendrick cleared his throat and tried to gather his thoughts. At least Stephen had admitted that it was a sin and that he needed help - it was up to Hendrick to strengthen his resolve, to let him know that he was on the right path when he had started seeking help and eventually, redemption.

Hendrick pressed his palms together and brought his hands up to touch his chin for a moment, as if in deep thought. "Well, Stephen.. It is good that you have realized that what you have been doing is a sin and that you now possess the desire within you to change," the priest started talking slowly, in a low voice, giving himself more time to think. He needed to map out what had happened before he could be of any actual help - the young man seemed very confused of his own situation, to say the least. "Now, let me just go back to some of the things you mentioned. You said that you first noticed these... feelings after your friend died. Sometimes good friends can become as close as family members to us. Losing a friend can be a very shocking ordeal and affect us in strange ways. Have you considered the fact that after you lost such a dear friend, you might have just misinterpreted these feelings for something else? What if you only experienced love for a friend and not love for a man?" Hendrick asked, his blue eyes studying the young man carefully, but not judgingly. "Or, if you think back... Are you certain this was when you first noticed yourself having such thoughts?"

[Stephen Colly]

The priest looked slightly confused for a brief moment when Stephen spoke but then the confused face vanished. The lad had begun to panic slightly as if this priest could not help him and guild him then who would be able to?

"Well, Stephen.. It is good that you have realized that what you have been doing is a sin and that you now possess the desire within you to change,"

He blinked slightly, nodding as he now understood that what he had been feeling was a sin and that he should stop feeling it right now. But it would be hard obviously, weren’t all things hard? He watched the priest as he thought for a second.

"Now, let me just go back to some of the things you mentioned. You said that you first noticed these... feelings after your friend died. Sometimes good friends can become as close as family members to us. Losing a friend can be a very shocking ordeal and affect us in strange ways. Have you considered the fact that after you lost such a dear friend, you might have just misinterpreted these feelings for something else? What if you only experienced love for a friend and not love for a man? Or, if you think back…Are you certain this was when you first noticed yourself having such thoughts?”

”I thought at first it was love for a friend. He was a really nice guy and he used to be really kind to me. But when the news reached me that he’d died…at first I was in shock. But then I began to have dreams about him and then I began to see men…differently.” he paused, taking a breath, ”I mean, I saw them like I once saw women…you know?” obviously the priest probably wouldn’t know what the hell the boy was on about but it was true, he loved men, end of. He loved Edward but now that Edward didn’t feel the same way as him…he’d turned his attentions to other men and then he realized that he was going a step too far. One person was enough, not more.

He looked away from the priest and down at the ledge where one would put one’s hymn book to rest on there and ran a hand along it. ”I have heard that there are more men like me in the world sir.” he muttered, glancing over at the priest, a small smile on his lips but it soon vanished.

[Hendrick Davidson]

The American priest could not help but feel confused when he listened to Colly explaining the origins of his rather unusual feelings. Hendrick just could not fathom how losing a good friend could have triggered someone to have such strange thoughts about other men. Had the shock been so severe that it had thrown the boy's mind so off balance? Hendrick narrowed his eyes in contemplation and nodded slightly at the Corporal's words. ”I mean, I saw them like I once saw women… you know?” Colly asked and Hendrick raised his eyebrows, giving the young man yet another small nod. No, he didn't really know, he was a priest living in celibacy and such things seemed very distant to him. Certainly he had listened to people's confessions on how they had succumbed to lust and Hendrick had dutifully told them the things he had been taught to say, reciting a few appropriate lines from the Bible to go with them. But did he really, truly understand it all? As a priest, a much more stricter code of conduct was expected of him and some things were simply forbidden. He did not feel very qualified in instructing people on relationships, but he had always figured that following God's word was enough to guide people on to the correct path.

Just the mere fact that he was doubting his own education made the young priest feel ashamed of himself. He was a servant of God, he should not entertain such thoughts, not even for a moment. Before one could become a priest, several years of studying were required and Hendrick had been prepared to handle just about any confession or situation that might be thrown at him. He could handle this one too - he coud help the Corporal see things the right way. Trying to collect his confidence, the light-haired priest paid very close attention to Colly's next words. ”I have heard that there are more men like me in the world sir,” the young Corporal muttered, glancing at the priest once again. Hendrick's blue eyes fixed on Colly more intensely this time and there was a certain amount of reproach in the way he regarded the young man.

"Stephen, of course there are. But that does not make it right, now does it?" the priest pointed out, shaking his head. "To me it seems that this... realization of yours has made you quite unhappy and I'm sure it must make your life very difficult, too. In your heart you know that what you are feeling, is not right, that is why you came to me and asked for help. You will not find peace before you have handled these feelings and sought redemption. You need to restore the serenity within you and renew your faith in God, " Hendrick spoke in a low voice, even though there were no other people in the church besides the priest and the Corporal.

It was a dangerous subject to talk about and confessions were usually made in the privacy and safety of a confessional, but Hendrick had not guessed just how serious the matters haunting the Corporal actually were. Trying to again appear as neutral as possible, Hendrick tilted his head down and paused for a while before posing his next question."Have these things been only in your thoughts or have you ever acted out on them, Stephen?"

[Stephen Colly]

The church felt slightly cold or was it because Stephen was flushed? When Stephen had been younger, he remembered churches being very large and cold. He remembered staring up at all the singing congregation and the priest in the white and gold clothing. The greying haired priest he remembered used to practically throw the cloth, and cup to his little assistant who used to stand and watch the proceedings from the side of the church. The boy remembered laughing once at this incident and the whole church had looked around at the noise – he had got a beaten from his father when he had got home…

But back to the young priest sitting next to him and Stephen’s dark eyes closed for a second and looked over at the man.

"Stephen, of course there are. But that does not make it right, now does it? To me it seems that this... realization of yours has made you quite unhappy and I'm sure it must make your life very difficult, too. In your heart you know that what you are feeling, is not right, that is why you came to me and asked for help. You will not find peace before you have handled these feelings and sought redemption. You need to restore the serenity within you and renew your faith in God, "

No…no it did not make it right. It was something that was wrong…but then again Nathan had said for Stephen not to think that it was wrong. But Nathan was a New Zealander and may not know the ways of the world and here was a priest who knew a lot about the world saying it was wrong. And yes he did feel unhappy about this whole situation. He nodded at the man’s words. They were spoken with such truth…it was odd how only a few weeks ago Stephen had not at all been like this. He had been passionate about what he felt but the words of Edward kept coming round and round – ”You need to get your head on straight…” and then Nicholas’s ”You need to change…” well he now was going to and he no was going to get his head on straight.

"Have these things been only in your thoughts or have you ever acted out on them, Stephen?"

These words took Stephen off guard and he didn’t say anything for a minute. During this minute, he glanced at his hands and shuffled his feet; opening and closing his mouth a few times and finally he nodded.

”Once. Just once and I regret it now.” yes, he did regret it greatly. He bit his lip, tears springing to his eyes but they didn’t fall. ”It was just so amazing for a few seconds and then ended and it was just awful…” it was awful…he had hated the shock on Edward’s face…it was like his heart had broken in two in a split second.

[Hendrick Davidson]

A long silence followed Hendrick's question, disturbed only by the occasional sound of Colly's feet shuffling on the cold stone floor. Hendrick turned his gaze away from the young Corporal, not wanting to put any pressure on him and also giving him time to reflect on the matter. Hendrick's pale blue eyes tracked the movement of the dust particles visible in the soft light sifting through the coloured glass windows. He was actually quite thankful for the quiet moment, as it gave him more time to ponder on the young man's situation. He seemed like a decent boy, one who was feeling genuinely rueful over his sinful thoughts and thus wanted to change. Hendrick had to wonder how the boy had been so seriously misled as to develop such unusual feelings for other men. Maybe it was part of some need to desperately hold on to his loved ones, one he mistook for love? People were complicated beings and Colly was young, yet. It wouldn't be the first time a youngster found oneself tormented by a torrent of emotions, that was a natural part of youth. Or... could it be that if the man truly looked at all men in the same manner?

The thought made Hendrick shift slightly in his seat and he felt a trifle uncomfortable, shooting a sideways glance at Stephen to see if he was any closer to finding his answer yet. Colly was opening and closing his mouth, as if the words were there, but he could not just voice them. Hendrick was not sure if the young Corporal would even answer him or if he would escape the situation now that it had proven so difficult, but then Stephen suddenly broke the silence. ”Once. Just once and I regret it now. It was just so amazing for a few seconds and then ended and it was just awful…” Colly managed to say, tears swelling up in his eyes. Hendrick nodded slightly, trying not to appear as awkward as he felt. He was not sure what Colly had exactly done, but he felt far too uncomfortable to ask him to elaborate. Still, at the same time he was also very sorry to see the barely contained tears in his eyes. Poor man.

"Stephen, it's all right," Hendrick's voice was low and soothing. "Things that are impossible to us, are possible to God. You are having a difficult time with these thoughts and of course, they don't just go away on their own. It is clear that they are making your life very difficult, you feel unhappy and I'm sure, sometimes, that you are even in danger and shunned by others." Hendrick allowed the young man a small, comforting smile. He wasn't here to judge the Corporal, only God could do that, but he had a very strong feeling that he could help the man and the right words just seemed to come to him.

"You have to work on getting rid of these thoughts and to retain a balance in your life once again. I know it may seem like a difficult task, but you don't have to do it on your own. God will be there to support you and whenever you have feelings of doubt or loneliness, you merely have to pray to Him." The priest said with a small, encouraging smile. "Sometimes the solutions are right there in front of us, but we just do not stop to actually see them. Through inner strength and courage and through the grace of our Lord will you find peace within yourself once again." Hendrick spoke in a confident voice - he steadfastly believed in every word he said. God would not just magically intervene in every matter. Sometimes people needed to take the initiative on their own and the Lord would surely aid them if people were true in their resolution. "I can offer you absolution and my prayers, but you need to make the decision to change on your own and you need to be strong in your resolve," the priest said solemnly, pausing for effect. "Now, if you have any questions, I'm here to answer them. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns if you have any doubts, Stephen."

[Stephen Colly]

"Stephen, it's all right, things that are impossible to us, are possible to God. You are having a difficult time with these thoughts and of course, they don't just go away on their own. It is clear that they are making your life very difficult, you feel unhappy and I'm sure, sometimes, that you are even in danger and shunned by others."

Yes. Yes, he was very unhappy and his life was very difficult and he was shunned by others – he had had the stuffing kicked out of him only a few weeks ago for looking at a few American GI soldiers at a bar in France. He hoped the priest didn’t feel annoyed by his presence and he even shifted slightly. The boy looked over as he felt the slight movement and he frowned but didn’t say anything. So this priest didn’t like him either? Oh for god sake why was everyone against him at the moment!? He looked away and watched the dust particles in the air. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, rubbing at his eyes, the tears dried slightly and he sniffed, shrugging slightly.

"You have to work on getting rid of these thoughts and to retain a balance in your life once again. I know it may seem like a difficult task, but you don't have to do it on your own. God will be there to support you and whenever you have feelings of doubt or loneliness, you merely have to pray to Him. Sometimes the solutions are right there in front of us, but we just do not stop to actually see them. Through inner strength and courage and through the grace of our Lord will you find peace within yourself once again."

The smile was back. He nodded at the words of the priest.

"I can offer you absolution and my prayers, but you need to make the decision to change on your own and you need to be strong in your resolve. Now, if you have any questions, I'm here to answer them. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns if you have any doubts, Stephen."

He thought for a minute. He had a lot for concerns: why was he different? Why did his father hate him? Why did Edward change to the Nazis? Why was the world so stupid? Why was there a war? Why was being a homosexual bad? The list was endless and he rubbed his face again. ”Alright.” he nodded again, ”That makes sense yeah.” he smiled over at the priest. ”Thank you for helping me.” he didn’t know whether that was the end of the conversation with the priest, he glanced at his watch and saw his mother would be worried about his whereabouts. He got to his feet, grabbing his cap and standing slightly awkwardly, staring at the priest, a confused expression on his face.

[Hendrick Davidson]

It did not take an expert to notice that Hendrick's words had done very little to help the young man and Hendrick felt the overwhelming feeling of incompetency fighting to gain foothold once again. What could he do? He was merely a priest and words were the only help he could offer Colly. He had been hoping that just telling him that he was not alone and that even when he felt abandoned, God would be there to guide him, would have been enough to make the man feel better, but obviously he had gravely miscalculated the outcome. Hendrick figured that maybe Stephen just did not feel God's presence quite as strongly as Hendrick himself did. His own life was dedicated to serving the Lord and he spent a good amount of time each day just praying. Of course it was easier for him to place his faith and trust in God - it was as natural to him as breathing was to a normal person. He should have been addressing the problem in more common terms, but it seemed like it was too late for that now - an awkward smile haunted Stephen's lips and he grabbed his cap before standing up, getting ready to leave.

Hendrick bolted up from his seat also, maybe even slightly too fast, his mind furiously working on the correct thing to say. "Stephen, please. I know you must be going somewhere, you are on leave, you have things to do... But if you have just a minute or more, I would at least like to say a prayer for you. Please," the priest smiled at the Corporal as sincerely as possible, placing a hand gently on Stephen's shoulder, encouraging him to stay. He wanted to let him know that he was not disgusted or afraid of the young man and that he sincerely wanted to help him. Hendrick sat down slowly, his blue eyes fixed on Stephen as he waited for him to follow his example. After the boy had taken a seat again, Hendrick nodded at him, smiling, turning his attention at the large crucifix fixed to the wall behind the altar. The priest's right hand, first three fingers pressed together, moved in a swift, practiced motion to form the sign of the cross and he spoke in a low, almost inaudible voice as he did so. "In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti."

Placing the palms of his hands together, Hendrick closed his eyes and remained silent for a moment, clearing his mind to make sure that his prayer would be both wise and heart-felt. He waited for a small moment until he felt that small, welcome tug somewhere in the reaches of his mind. A calm serenity silenced all other thoughts, as if a velvet drape had been drawn in to separate Hendrick from the worldly distractions so he could fully concentrate on addressing his Lord and Saviour. The moment of silence was soon broken by Hendrick's voice, the low tone of his voice making it raspier than usually. "Father, Son and Holy Spirit, from whom come all that is good. You have made us your humble servants and called us to walk in the Light. Free us from darkness and keep us in the Light of Your truth. Called to that Light, I ask you to provide guidance to this young man, Stephen Colly, who has lost his way and now stands before you, confused, seeking your wisdom. Lord, grant him strength in these difficult times and make the path before him clear so that he may find his way. Help us know that you are forever guiding us and that through your love and forgiveness, we will one day receive salvation. Give us light to see the truth plainly, to see ourselves as we are and to see the way we should go. Grant him the grace of wisdom and keep him safe and ever steadfast in Your love and guard him from temptation and doubt. Sit sempiterna gloria. Amen."

Hendrick stayed silent for a small while, letting the silence even further sanctify the prayer, before slowly opening his pale-blue eyes and glancing at Stephen. The priest gave the man a small shrug and averted his eyes before speaking. "I am truly sorry this is the only help I could offer you, Stephen, I wish I could do more. Just know that you are never alone and that if you feel like you want to discuss these things further, I will be found here at least for a two more days, but then I'll be leaving again. I fear I do not usually stay stationary for very long," Hendrick remarked with an almost invisible, sad smile. He wished that he could stay in one parish long enough to get to know people and be of more substantial help to people, but he was here only temporarily. One day he would watch over his own parish, but he knew that right now other plans were laying in wait for him. It was a rather solitary way to live one's life and he rarely got to know people very well, but he hoped that showing good will to Stephen Colly would have at least some positive impact in the young man's life.

"I will pray for you, Stephen. I truly hope that you can find peace within yourself once again." Hendrick flashed Stephen a brief glance of heart-felt empathy and clasped his hands together, staying as neutral as possible - he wanted to give Stephen the notion that if the young man wanted to add something to his previous statement, he was welcome to do so, but also free to leave if he so wished.

[Stephen Colly]

The priest bolted from his seat and it made the boy jump slightly, ”Stephen, please. I know you must be going somewhere, you are on leave, you have things to do… But if you just have a minute or more, I would at least like to say a prayer for you. Please.”

A hand was placed gently on his shoulder, and the boy glanced down at it, realizing the man was genuinely wanting to help him. He sat down slowly and the priest nodded, smiling and turning his attention to the crucifix on the wall behind the altar. Stephen followed his gaze to the crucifix and put one hand over his eyes as he bent slightly, waiting for the man to start talking. Something in Latin was said and then the priest began to say the prayer – it was pretty simple.

"Father, Son and Holy Spirit, from whom come all that is good. You have made us your humble servants and called us to walk in the Light. Free us from darkness and keep us in the Light of Your truth. Called to that Light, I ask you to provide guidance to this young man, Stephen Colly, who has lost his way and now stands before you, confused, seeking your wisdom. Lord, grant him strength in these difficult times and make the path before him clear so that he may find his way. Help us know that you are forever guiding us and that through your love and forgiveness, we will one day receive salvation. Give us light to see the truth plainly, to see ourselves as we are and to see the way we should go. Grant him the grace of wisdom and keep him safe and ever steadfast in Your love and guard him from temptation and doubt. Sit sempiterna gloria. Amen."

Silence…complete silence as Stephen digested the prayer that had just been said. He opened his own eyes and glanced over at Hendrick, their eyes meeting. Stephen looked away as Hendrick did, and over at the stain-glass window. Hendrick spoke about how he was sorry it was all he could help, another two days he would be found hear… The boy nodded slowly. So, he may never see this guy again…he might be dead this time next week if he was sent back to the front line…how odd.

”Thank you.” he nodded as the man said he’d pray for him, and that he hoped that he would find peace within himself again. Stephen nodded yet again and grasped his cap firmly in his hands, ”You’ve helped me greatly, sir.” he said softly, his bright, innocent eyes casting back over to Hendrick, ”I have learnt things today that I wouldn’t have else where, so yes, thanks.” he stood up, putting on his cap, making sure it was straight before holding out a hand to see if the man wanted to shake it.

[Hendrick Davidson]

Most of the time Hendrick had great faith in the things he was doing and in the fact that he was capable of doing them - but this discussion had made him doubt his own knowledge more than he cared to admit. Some other priests would have snapped harshly at the young man, maybe going to great lengths in describing the torments that were in store for such a serious sinner - the ever scorching fires of Hell, desperate cries of the tortured sinners, nightmarish creatures that existed only to torment the souls of those who had abandoned God and his word. Threatening people with these vivid descriptions certainly seemed like a good incentive for people to stay on the good path, but it didn't seem like the right way to turn them to God's love - at least not to Hendrick. He had always been far too kind-hearted in that way and could hardly bring himself to say something bad about others. Even when his family had turned to hunting as means of bringing food on the table back in Pennsylvania, Hendrick had not managed to bring himself to kill an animal. And now, during these times of war, he had still remained a stubborn pacifist and outright refused to raise a hand against another person, even for self-defense.

It was easier to hold on to those beliefs now that he was a priest, of course, and he had not ever been forced to a situation where he would have been threatened in a violent manner, either. He sometimes wondered if he would break that conviction if someone else's life was threatened, but the thought often made him uncomfortable and it was easier to just push it aside.

Right now he was feeling concent in the fact that he had treated Stephen Colly as kindly and understandingly as he could. Hendrick felt that his prayer and benign words had managed to have at least some effect on the Corporal and a small smile formed at the corner of the priest's mouth when the young man thanked him. He got up from his seat when Colly did so and turned around slightly so he could face him properly to wish him well. The Corporal extended his hand out for a shake and surprise dominated Hendrick's blue eyes for a brief moment. Colly had seemed so shy and apprehensive, he had just expected for him to dash off once their discussion was over. The young priest blinked once, but quickly grabbed the Corporals hand and gripped it strongly. A wide smile dominated Hendrick's features when that comfortable feeling of having helped someone drowned out the still lingering sentiment of doubt. He placed his free hand over Stephen's, as if to affirm his next words. "Just keep in mind what I told you, Stephen and take your time to contemplate on my words. I will say my prayers for you and I'll ask for the Lord to send His angels to watch over you and to keep you safe when you're at the front once again. Although... I know you will be fine. It was good talking to you, Stephen." Hendrick said with a solemn nod, releasing the Corporal's hand and smiling at him encouragingly.

The priest tilted his head to the side as he watched Stephen Colly walking away, his steps echoing from the stone walls of the old church. After the heavy door closed with a low rumble, Hendrick closed his eyes for a moment before turning around to look at the crucifix fixed to the wall, as if waiting for the Christ to say something to him. He wasn't sure if he would have expected words of criticism or those of approval, but he felt that any words at all would have suited him just fine - at least then he would know if he had said the right things to Colly or not. Instead, the carved wooden face remained unchanged, frozen into an expression of sorrow and sacrifice, eyes staring somewhere in the distance. The black-clad man pressed the palms of his hands together as he looked up at the crucifix, bringing his praying hands up to his chin, pale blue eyes staring at the image of his Saviour. "Please.. Please help him, Lord," Hendrick said in a low voice and he was answered only with the solemn, undisturbed silence of the empty church. He remained standing there for a good long time, listening to everything and nothing in the stillness of God's house, letting himself get lost in the blissful serenity of his quiet solitude.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

Moderation Post:

The following CP has been issued:

Davidson - 9CP

Colly - 7CP

-JT