joey toniatti- application

[burghfootballl3]

Account E-Mail: [e-mail]

Name: joey toniatti (my acount name is burghfootball3)

Nationality:
an italian teen from the u.s.

What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
US

Character History:
joey is origanally from italy until he was around 4 years old. his family decided to move to america the place were dreams come true they said. well for joey they really didnt. his family was stuck in a one room apartment that they were forced to live in for many years. joey took up playing football in high school as he was a fiarly big guy that was influenced to play by his classmates. his parents allways made sure they had enough money to send his brother and his 2 sisters to school. joey thought it was the best thing in the world to go to school as were he lived in italy his family, friends, and neighbors never had enough money to go to school. he was a great football player that won many awards and was looked at by colleges from around the area he lived in witch was downtown queens new york. that was until he was 18 and was considered a citizen after his citizenship test. he was drafted to fight in the war shortly after that. ever sence then his life has made a drastic change from finding ways to live better to finding ways to live period.

Military Rank:
- You may ‘TRY’ to request any rank, but depending on your Bio Quality and the current Rank’s Occupation, you may be asked to choose or another - or automatically assigned to one seen best fit.
Technical sergeant
if its ok becuase i see there isnt any of them




Writing Sample:
There was heavy gunfire sounds in the distance. it made a "pop pop pop" sound and every once in a while you would here a loud "kaaa- boooom". every time joey heard that he would duck down as if the explosion was right next to him. his heart was pounding and he kept hearing the crackle of sticks and the rushling of the hedgerows. then joey thought "am i being followed. shit i need to get back to the others." what had started out as a routine recon run around the perimeter ended up being a screw up on his part that brougth him right in the middle of enemy territory. joey looked behind him as extreme paranoia began to build up inside of him. he was so scared and nervous that he bagan to sweat like he did when he was playing football and pant like a dog would after it got done with a run after a cat of somesort. another rustle in the bushes to the left of him and he looked over. nothing. "damn it joey keep going you big pussy." joey wispered to him self as he went up to a slight crouch and walked over slowy step by step to a ston wall standing 3 feet high. it was just enough cover for him to hide behind as long as he was crouched down. he look down at his m1 garand to see if it was loaded. it was so he put his vision back up tp the field that seperated him from his squads base camp. the field was rufly a quearter mile long and was surrounded by german enplacements. he had to choices run straight across makeing hte nazis fire at him or try to sneak around it and risk getting seen by a patrol revieling his squads location. "fuck it." he said "just like the good old days when i was playing for school." he stood up quickly and began to run acroosed the field swiftly. he had made it half way acrossed with out anything fire at him. the he heard it "pop pop pop" the mg42s began to fire. the way he saw it it was live or die in this situation.

[Nathan Whyte]

Sorry, Joey, but to get even PVT you need 15 lines in the bio and 15 in the example with correct spelling and punctuation, including capital letters.

[burghfootballl3]

allright ill go back and edit it to make it better. thanks for telling me though

[burghfootballl3]

Account E-Mail: [e-mail]

Name: Joey Toniatti (my account name is burghfootball3)

Nationality:
an Italian teen from the u.s.

What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
US

Character History:
Joey is originally from Italy until he was around 4 years old. His family decided to move to America the place were dreams come true they said. Well for Joey they really didn’t. His family was stuck in a one room apartment that they were forced to live in for many years. Joey took up playing football in high school as he was a fairly big guy that was influenced to play by his classmates. His parents always made sure they had enough money to send his brother and his 2 sisters to school. Joey thought it was the best thing in the world to go to school as were he lived in Italy his family, friends, and neighbors never had enough money to go to school. He was a great football player that won many awards and was looked at by colleges from around the area he lived in witch was downtown queens New York. That was until he was 18 and was considered a citizen after his citizenship test. He was drafted to fight in the war shortly after that. ever since then his life has made a drastic change from finding ways to live better to finding ways to live period.

Military Rank:
- You may ‘TRY’ to request any rank, but depending on your Bio Quality and the current Rank’s Occupation, you may be asked to choose or another - or automatically assigned to one seen best fit.
Private




writing Sample:
There was heavy gunfire sounds in the distance. It made a "pop pop pop" sound and every once in a while you would here a loud "kaaa- boooom". Every time Joey heard that he would duck down as if the explosion was right next to him. His heart was pounding and he kept hearing the crackle of sticks and the rustling of the hedgerows. Then Joey thought "am I being followed. Shit I need to get back to the others." what had started out as a routine recon run around the perimeter ended up being a screw up on his part that brought him right in the middle of enemy territory. Joey looked behind him as extreme paranoia began to build up inside of him. He was so scared and nervous that he began to sweat like he did when he was playing football and pant like a dog would after it got done with a run after a cat of some sort. Another rustle in the bushes to the left of him and he looked over. Nothing. "Damn it Joey keep going you big pussy." Joey whispered to him self as he went up to a slight crouch and walked over slowly step by step to a stone wall standing 3 feet high. It was just enough cover for him to hide behind as long as he was crouched down. He look down at his m1 Garand to see if it was loaded. It was so he put his vision back up to the field that separated him from his squad’s base camp. The field was roughly a quarter mile long and was surrounded by German emplacements. He had to choices run straight across making the Nazis fire at him or tries to sneak around it and risk getting seen by a patrol reveling his squad’s location. "Fuck it." he said "just like the good old days when I was playing for school." he stood up quickly and began to run aroused the field swiftly. He had made it half way a crossed with out anything fire at him. The he heard it "pop pop pop" the mg42s began to fire. The way he saw it was live or die in this situation.

[Daniel Brennan]

The History still isn't long enough

[burghfootballl3]

Account E-Mail: [e-mail]

Name: Joey Toniatti (my account name is burghfootball3)

Nationality:
an Italian teen from the u.s.

What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
US

Character History:
Joey is originally from Italy until he was around 4 years old. His family decided to move to America the place were dreams come true they said. Well for Joey they really didn’t. His family was stuck in a one room apartment that they were forced to live in for many years. Joey took up playing football in high school as he was a fairly big guy that was influenced to play by his classmates. His parents always made sure they had enough money to send his brother and his 2 sisters to school. Joey thought it was the best thing in the world to go to school as were he lived in Italy his family, friends, and neighbors never had enough money to go to school. He was a great football player that won many awards and was looked at by colleges from around the area he lived in witch was downtown queens New York. That was until he was 18 and was considered a citizen after his citizenship test. He was drafted to fight in the war shortly after that. ever since then his life has made a drastic change from finding ways to live better to finding ways to live period. he was then recruited to the united states marines. it was a homor to him to be put on the marines as he saw many battles and regain many values and things to make his true self better.

Military Rank:
- You may ‘TRY’ to request any rank, but depending on your Bio Quality and the current Rank’s Occupation, you may be asked to choose or another - or automatically assigned to one seen best fit.
Private




writing Sample:
There was heavy gunfire sounds in the distance. It made a "pop pop pop" sound and every once in a while you would here a loud "kaaa- boooom". Every time Joey heard that he would duck down as if the explosion was right next to him. His heart was pounding and he kept hearing the crackle of sticks and the rustling of the hedgerows. Then Joey thought "am I being followed. Shit I need to get back to the others." what had started out as a routine recon run around the perimeter ended up being a screw up on his part that brought him right in the middle of enemy territory. Joey looked behind him as extreme paranoia began to build up inside of him. He was so scared and nervous that he began to sweat like he did when he was playing football and pant like a dog would after it got done with a run after a cat of some sort. Another rustle in the bushes to the left of him and he looked over. Nothing. "Damn it Joey keep going you big pussy." Joey whispered to him self as he went up to a slight crouch and walked over slowly step by step to a stone wall standing 3 feet high. It was just enough cover for him to hide behind as long as he was crouched down. He look down at his m1 Garand to see if it was loaded. It was so he put his vision back up to the field that separated him from his squad’s base camp. The field was roughly a quarter mile long and was surrounded by German emplacements. He had to choices run straight across making the Nazis fire at him or tries to sneak around it and risk getting seen by a patrol reveling his squad’s location. "Fuck it." he said "just like the good old days when I was playing for school." he stood up quickly and began to run aroused the field swiftly. He had made it half way a crossed with out anything fire at him. The he heard it "pop pop pop" the mg42s began to fire. The way he saw it was live or die in this situation.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

I'm gonna shoot ya straight man, your spelling could use a touch up, as could your capitalization, you changed tenses a couple of times, a comma here and there wouldn't hurt, and there were a couple of run on sentences. But we aren't all about grammar and whatnot, this isn't English class, the improved writing will come with time, I'm sure most, if not all, members here could say the same. So I'll approve you at the rank of private on the basis that you will attempt to approve your writing abilities while on the site...and have a good time in the process.

Oh, and in case you haven't already been directed to this area, have a look around in here for some helpful tips and what not.

"Beginner's Guide"

-JT