Post by shawn on Oct 13, 2009 5:55:51 GMT
Although I very much enjoyed your writing sample and I can tell you have a fair amount of writing ability, your character history was a little short and mostly was in second person, try to keep things in third person, that's what we use here. I'll give you Corporal. Welcome to Issuing Orders, should you have any questions please feel free to ask myself or another staff member or if we are not around there are planty of help threads in the "Beginners's Area" and there are usually a couple of veteran members floating about.
Please keep in mind that there are currently no NPCs in the shop for the Italian Nationality, there is a huge update soon to be relased on the site that will introduce everything needed for the Italians. For the time being you are free to Neutral RP to your hearts content or join in a battle as a lone combatant, but be careful in that situation.
Also for the time being, you will be issued the German soldier standard issue gear, once the Italian update is released it will be swapped out for you. Also you are allowed to serve under an currently open Axis division, but if you purchase any NPCs for that division they will be lost when the Italian update is complete. Kinda complicated I know, but like I said, any questions, please feel free to ask.
-JT
Account E-Mail: EDITED OUT!
Name: Antonio De Luca -SS-Unterscharführer (Sergeant)
Nationality:Italian
Character History: Antonio De Luca was born in Sicily in 1924 to both Italian parents, Giovanni and Andrea De Luca, the family was a poor-middle class family. He is a strong believer in fascism. His father was a farmer and the mother a cook for the army. He didn't have any siblings and he helped his mother in the kitchen until he was noticed by a corporal who visited the camp often as a strong and intelligent boy so Antonio was enlisted in the army by the corporal. The camp he went to was a boys secret training facility in Italy to train them to become soldiers. Antonio learned basic gun fighting at a early age and is a good shooter and a charismatic man. He is a straightforward man and he has a lot of trust in the leadership of Mussolini and is ready to die for him. He earned low wages but had enough to afford his family a small house near the capital of Roma. Antonio was respected by his fellow soldiers and officers alike. After Italy entered world war 2 he was more than happy to serve his country and help his country. He is a loud man with good leadership skills but sometimes he is a bit cowardly when outnumbered. He dislikes Germans and Hitler but he is willing to do anything it takes to serve Mussolini. He now serves in the Italian town of Milan as a master sergeant and is getting ready to get transferred to the front lines to fight for Italy and help the Nazi Germans if ordered...
Military Rank: Sergente maggiore
Writing Sample:
Scenario: It was quite like everyone was dead. Not a word anywhere. Antonio reassured himself nothing was going to happen. Making sure his pistol was thingyed and ready to go, he slid through the ruins like a snake looking at every possible action he could take. Taking a long breath he looked around..still nothing. Both satisfied and frightened he continued.
He was on a mission. He and 2 other men were dropped behind enemy lines in the dead of night to secure a small outpost in the middle of the battlefield. 1 of the men had been shot while they were running through and the other had injured his leg and Antonio had to abandon him. Guilt was running through his mind. He left his best mate in the middle of a war torn area. God knows what might happen to him, Slavery..Death, But it was too late to think about it now. Suddenly the light caught the attention of his eyes. He reached the outpost.
He sighed with relief as he found it. He didn't have much left in him. He was walking on raw willpower and determination alone. He tried to find people inside the tower-like building. He cursed, there was about 10 to 15 men. He couldn't face them at least not alone...memories flooded his head of his past. His brother died because of an reckless attack in the army to the allied forces and his parents were devastated. He didn't want the same to happen to him. He was thinking of feeling
He tuned around as heard a noise. Sweat poured down his body like water. He shuffled to the side. Took his pistol and got ready. The noise came closer. He knew it was the time. He peeked out a hole in a ruin of a building he was hiding behind, he saw about a division of soldiers. Assuming they were allied forces he turned around and shouted ''In the name of the great nation of Italy'' and started shooting blindly to scare them off..maybe. After he had no more bullets he stared at his so called enemies found them to be a battalion of German soldiers.
He dropped on his knees. Feeling scared to death. He started to daze out. He didn't think any of the German's notice him and they were preoccupied with the allies. He could hear the allied soldiers coming out the tower and for the last thing heard gunfire.
Woke up. Still blurred out Antonio thought for sure he was a goner. Did he die?..Prisoner of war maybe..when he cleared up he saw it was a German medic. He had dozed for about 5 hours. When asked for an explanation he lied and told that he was shot in the back by allied snipers. The Germans let Antonio go as they weren't allowed to do anything to Italians die to the Pact Of Steel. He walked back to the nearest HQ feeling satisfied with his work.
Please keep in mind that there are currently no NPCs in the shop for the Italian Nationality, there is a huge update soon to be relased on the site that will introduce everything needed for the Italians. For the time being you are free to Neutral RP to your hearts content or join in a battle as a lone combatant, but be careful in that situation.
Also for the time being, you will be issued the German soldier standard issue gear, once the Italian update is released it will be swapped out for you. Also you are allowed to serve under an currently open Axis division, but if you purchase any NPCs for that division they will be lost when the Italian update is complete. Kinda complicated I know, but like I said, any questions, please feel free to ask.
-JT
Account E-Mail: EDITED OUT!
Name: Antonio De Luca -SS-Unterscharführer (Sergeant)
Nationality:Italian
Character History: Antonio De Luca was born in Sicily in 1924 to both Italian parents, Giovanni and Andrea De Luca, the family was a poor-middle class family. He is a strong believer in fascism. His father was a farmer and the mother a cook for the army. He didn't have any siblings and he helped his mother in the kitchen until he was noticed by a corporal who visited the camp often as a strong and intelligent boy so Antonio was enlisted in the army by the corporal. The camp he went to was a boys secret training facility in Italy to train them to become soldiers. Antonio learned basic gun fighting at a early age and is a good shooter and a charismatic man. He is a straightforward man and he has a lot of trust in the leadership of Mussolini and is ready to die for him. He earned low wages but had enough to afford his family a small house near the capital of Roma. Antonio was respected by his fellow soldiers and officers alike. After Italy entered world war 2 he was more than happy to serve his country and help his country. He is a loud man with good leadership skills but sometimes he is a bit cowardly when outnumbered. He dislikes Germans and Hitler but he is willing to do anything it takes to serve Mussolini. He now serves in the Italian town of Milan as a master sergeant and is getting ready to get transferred to the front lines to fight for Italy and help the Nazi Germans if ordered...
Military Rank: Sergente maggiore
Writing Sample:
Scenario: It was quite like everyone was dead. Not a word anywhere. Antonio reassured himself nothing was going to happen. Making sure his pistol was thingyed and ready to go, he slid through the ruins like a snake looking at every possible action he could take. Taking a long breath he looked around..still nothing. Both satisfied and frightened he continued.
He was on a mission. He and 2 other men were dropped behind enemy lines in the dead of night to secure a small outpost in the middle of the battlefield. 1 of the men had been shot while they were running through and the other had injured his leg and Antonio had to abandon him. Guilt was running through his mind. He left his best mate in the middle of a war torn area. God knows what might happen to him, Slavery..Death, But it was too late to think about it now. Suddenly the light caught the attention of his eyes. He reached the outpost.
He sighed with relief as he found it. He didn't have much left in him. He was walking on raw willpower and determination alone. He tried to find people inside the tower-like building. He cursed, there was about 10 to 15 men. He couldn't face them at least not alone...memories flooded his head of his past. His brother died because of an reckless attack in the army to the allied forces and his parents were devastated. He didn't want the same to happen to him. He was thinking of feeling
He tuned around as heard a noise. Sweat poured down his body like water. He shuffled to the side. Took his pistol and got ready. The noise came closer. He knew it was the time. He peeked out a hole in a ruin of a building he was hiding behind, he saw about a division of soldiers. Assuming they were allied forces he turned around and shouted ''In the name of the great nation of Italy'' and started shooting blindly to scare them off..maybe. After he had no more bullets he stared at his so called enemies found them to be a battalion of German soldiers.
He dropped on his knees. Feeling scared to death. He started to daze out. He didn't think any of the German's notice him and they were preoccupied with the allies. He could hear the allied soldiers coming out the tower and for the last thing heard gunfire.
Woke up. Still blurred out Antonio thought for sure he was a goner. Did he die?..Prisoner of war maybe..when he cleared up he saw it was a German medic. He had dozed for about 5 hours. When asked for an explanation he lied and told that he was shot in the back by allied snipers. The Germans let Antonio go as they weren't allowed to do anything to Italians die to the Pact Of Steel. He walked back to the nearest HQ feeling satisfied with his work.