Post by Application on May 21, 2009 23:52:57 GMT
You character history was more about his parents before he was born than the character himself, not to mentio you need to work on your puncuation, couple of run on sentences as well, I'll give you Corporal.
-JT
Account E-Mail: EDITED OUT!
Name: Allan Grassetti
Nationality:
his nationality is Italian and English because his father was an English soldier and his mother was an Italian civilian
What Army wills Your Character Serve Beneath?
He will serve under the American army.
Character History:
Allan’s father was a English Sergeant named Daniel Bruster who in World War I was stationed in Ravenna, Italy where he met a beautiful Italian women named Alessa Julio who he found crying in the streets and when he “asked what was wrong” she told him she just found out her husband names Dorino Grassetti died in the war when he was stabbed by a German soldier. After she told him he picked her up and brought her to her house. The next few days they began seeing each other and Alessa became pregnant and they were going to get married but Daniel had to be transferred to Rome and Alessa was scared to tell her family that she was having a Child from an English man so she didn’t tell them Dorino died and she told them that they were moving to the America when the war was over.
Once the war ended Alessa moved to America like she said and had Allan in October 21, 1919 and in honor of Dorino she named his last name after his. When he was 10 his mom became very sick with pneumonia and Allan had to work instead of play. He worked as a sweat shop making hats where he soon got fired for trying to steal a hat and was whipped till he passed out. The week after he got a new job at a guns smith where his boss gave him a gun and ammo to hunt for him. When the Great Depression came he lost his job because it ran out of business.
In 1928 his mom finally died from exposure because they lost their home and everything they had but the gun he was given. When walking one day he found an old barn where he lived and ate meat that he hunted and trapped. By the time the Americans entered the war he was 21, a great shot, and eager to fight.
Military Rank:
staff sergeant or higher
Writing Sample:
A Foggy morning all the noises makes Allan jump. Every crack of a stick and every scurry of an animal make Allan almost shoot. His adrenalin is rushing Allan fears the fact of being captured. From some friends he made at barracks told of the worst possible stories in a prisoner of war camps. All the possible options are running through his mind he almost wants so sit and cry. But if he does he knows he will be seen or heard so he stands his ground for now. Allan is walking around when he comes across a battle field were men are dead every were. Guts are ripped out of bodies; arms are ripped off, and smashed in heads. Allan soon throws up what little he has. As he walk forward he sees a soldier so he grabs his M1 Garand and aims it at him but as fog clears he sees at least a whole platoon a German soldiers. Allan starts to run but as he is running he see a squad if German soldiers looking at his puke. He sees a pill of bodies and covers himself in them.
Allan is thinking of what to do. Wait till they leave, surrender and have to face a P.O.W. camp, or go down fighting. At first he is thinking go down fighting because of the smell and there is nobody to love after the war no mother, no girl, no nothing. But then remembers that when he covered himself in bodies he dropped his Thompson about 5 feet away from himself. He thinks about waiting till they leave but that could take days and he will starve. As he was thinking that the Germans began to leave. But as they were leaving a truck came to move the bodies and he said to himself that I have to make a stand there are men covering the body removers. He decided to take out his colt .45 and shoot the men covering the body removers. So he took of the safety of the colt jumped up pulled the trigger and his clip was gone and the Germans noticed Allan. Running for his Garand the Germans started to shoot. Allan dove for his Garand and shot back. Rolling behind a big tree he reloaded and dropped the two German soldiers but as soon as he killed them the other two that were removing dead bodies came to fight to. As the Germans started shooting but they were both reloading soon after they arrived. Allan knew this was his chance so he started to shoot a dropped both of them just like the other two.
After their little fight Allan stood up and ran to the truck and searched it for any information or anything that could be useful. But there was nothing but cigarettes which he lit one up and sat down and smoked it. The instant relax was soon ended as he another truck was coming down the trail. Allan jumped to his feet and ran away as fast as he could to the tree line. Once he reached the tree line he ran behind a tree to see a German truck with a squad of Germans in the back. As the truck stopped the Germans jumped out and checked the bodies and got in the truck and drove off. Allan got up on his feet and walked back to the bodies were he saw his sergeant. Allan searched his body and found a map of where he was and were our HQ was. So he stood up and start to walk and he forgot about the compass so he kneeled down right on it and broke the compass. So Allan lit his last cigarette and started to walk up the trail. As he was walking his adrenaline came back every sound made him jump. But he started to here rumbling it got lower and lower. But not a plane but rain started to fall. As he walk up the muddy trail he forgot about the aloneness and walked over into the forest dug a pit under a tree with his shovel cut branches off a tree near him and put it in and over the pit. After he finished he laid in it covered himself with branches and fell asleep.
As he was sleeping he started to dream of his mom and how much he loved her and how much she loved him. As he was dreaming it was soon interrupted by MG-42 fire and explosions. As he ran toward the battle he soon found himself at an opening of a trench where he saw an MG-42 at the other end of. So he started to walk down it and he saw a trench lower down the hill of him where there were soldiers. Allan kept going down the trench were he stopped aimed and fired and missed the Machine gunner and as he was about to shoot again the clip popped out of it. Allan dropped to the ground and reloaded. Luckily the MG fire drowned out the noise and the gunner must have thought it was an enemy firing at him. So Allan jumped and emptied a clip into the gunner and dropped him. He ran to the MG-42 and fired at the German soldiers. As he killed them the other American soldiers ran up to him and brought them back to base.
-JT
Account E-Mail: EDITED OUT!
Name: Allan Grassetti
Nationality:
his nationality is Italian and English because his father was an English soldier and his mother was an Italian civilian
What Army wills Your Character Serve Beneath?
He will serve under the American army.
Character History:
Allan’s father was a English Sergeant named Daniel Bruster who in World War I was stationed in Ravenna, Italy where he met a beautiful Italian women named Alessa Julio who he found crying in the streets and when he “asked what was wrong” she told him she just found out her husband names Dorino Grassetti died in the war when he was stabbed by a German soldier. After she told him he picked her up and brought her to her house. The next few days they began seeing each other and Alessa became pregnant and they were going to get married but Daniel had to be transferred to Rome and Alessa was scared to tell her family that she was having a Child from an English man so she didn’t tell them Dorino died and she told them that they were moving to the America when the war was over.
Once the war ended Alessa moved to America like she said and had Allan in October 21, 1919 and in honor of Dorino she named his last name after his. When he was 10 his mom became very sick with pneumonia and Allan had to work instead of play. He worked as a sweat shop making hats where he soon got fired for trying to steal a hat and was whipped till he passed out. The week after he got a new job at a guns smith where his boss gave him a gun and ammo to hunt for him. When the Great Depression came he lost his job because it ran out of business.
In 1928 his mom finally died from exposure because they lost their home and everything they had but the gun he was given. When walking one day he found an old barn where he lived and ate meat that he hunted and trapped. By the time the Americans entered the war he was 21, a great shot, and eager to fight.
Military Rank:
staff sergeant or higher
Writing Sample:
A Foggy morning all the noises makes Allan jump. Every crack of a stick and every scurry of an animal make Allan almost shoot. His adrenalin is rushing Allan fears the fact of being captured. From some friends he made at barracks told of the worst possible stories in a prisoner of war camps. All the possible options are running through his mind he almost wants so sit and cry. But if he does he knows he will be seen or heard so he stands his ground for now. Allan is walking around when he comes across a battle field were men are dead every were. Guts are ripped out of bodies; arms are ripped off, and smashed in heads. Allan soon throws up what little he has. As he walk forward he sees a soldier so he grabs his M1 Garand and aims it at him but as fog clears he sees at least a whole platoon a German soldiers. Allan starts to run but as he is running he see a squad if German soldiers looking at his puke. He sees a pill of bodies and covers himself in them.
Allan is thinking of what to do. Wait till they leave, surrender and have to face a P.O.W. camp, or go down fighting. At first he is thinking go down fighting because of the smell and there is nobody to love after the war no mother, no girl, no nothing. But then remembers that when he covered himself in bodies he dropped his Thompson about 5 feet away from himself. He thinks about waiting till they leave but that could take days and he will starve. As he was thinking that the Germans began to leave. But as they were leaving a truck came to move the bodies and he said to himself that I have to make a stand there are men covering the body removers. He decided to take out his colt .45 and shoot the men covering the body removers. So he took of the safety of the colt jumped up pulled the trigger and his clip was gone and the Germans noticed Allan. Running for his Garand the Germans started to shoot. Allan dove for his Garand and shot back. Rolling behind a big tree he reloaded and dropped the two German soldiers but as soon as he killed them the other two that were removing dead bodies came to fight to. As the Germans started shooting but they were both reloading soon after they arrived. Allan knew this was his chance so he started to shoot a dropped both of them just like the other two.
After their little fight Allan stood up and ran to the truck and searched it for any information or anything that could be useful. But there was nothing but cigarettes which he lit one up and sat down and smoked it. The instant relax was soon ended as he another truck was coming down the trail. Allan jumped to his feet and ran away as fast as he could to the tree line. Once he reached the tree line he ran behind a tree to see a German truck with a squad of Germans in the back. As the truck stopped the Germans jumped out and checked the bodies and got in the truck and drove off. Allan got up on his feet and walked back to the bodies were he saw his sergeant. Allan searched his body and found a map of where he was and were our HQ was. So he stood up and start to walk and he forgot about the compass so he kneeled down right on it and broke the compass. So Allan lit his last cigarette and started to walk up the trail. As he was walking his adrenaline came back every sound made him jump. But he started to here rumbling it got lower and lower. But not a plane but rain started to fall. As he walk up the muddy trail he forgot about the aloneness and walked over into the forest dug a pit under a tree with his shovel cut branches off a tree near him and put it in and over the pit. After he finished he laid in it covered himself with branches and fell asleep.
As he was sleeping he started to dream of his mom and how much he loved her and how much she loved him. As he was dreaming it was soon interrupted by MG-42 fire and explosions. As he ran toward the battle he soon found himself at an opening of a trench where he saw an MG-42 at the other end of. So he started to walk down it and he saw a trench lower down the hill of him where there were soldiers. Allan kept going down the trench were he stopped aimed and fired and missed the Machine gunner and as he was about to shoot again the clip popped out of it. Allan dropped to the ground and reloaded. Luckily the MG fire drowned out the noise and the gunner must have thought it was an enemy firing at him. So Allan jumped and emptied a clip into the gunner and dropped him. He ran to the MG-42 and fired at the German soldiers. As he killed them the other American soldiers ran up to him and brought them back to base.