Post by GUEST on Oct 22, 2008 1:09:02 GMT
Accepted
Yes we do write in third person on this site. Also, we right in past tense, not present tense as you were writing in. In case you don't know, Paste tense is words such as 'Don did' and 'Don saw'. I'll give you a Sergeant rank.
~Dan
Account E-Mail: Edited Out!
Name: Donald Sullivan
Nationality:
- American
What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
UK or US: US
Character History:
- Born in the small town of Finleyville, Pennsylvania on March 12, 1921, Don is the third of five children. His father, Kenneth, worked in the coal mines and his mother stayed at home to take care of the house and the children. Don was always a superb athlete as a kid but was known throughout town as a bit of a troublemaker. He had difficulties paying attention during school and always managed to find himself in a fist fight out on the playground. Due to his lackluster attitude towards education, Don was on the recieving end of many beatings given to him from his father during his childhood.
Don dropped out of school in the seventh grade to work in the coal mines with his dad and older brothers. When Don wasn't working, he could be found at the local boxing gym where he'd become quite a good fighter. Donnie entered into Western Pennsylvania's Silver Gloves tournament when he was sixteen years old and went all the way to the final match, losing in a split decision. Finleyville locals were proud of Don and, for a while, he was no longer seen as the troublemaker with a bad temper.
Don signed his papers to join the Army on March 14, 1939 - just two days after his eighteenth birthday. He was sent to Fort Bragg in North Carolina for Basic Training and was well on route to becoming an American soldier...
Military Rank:
- Assign me to whatever rank you deem fit.
Writing Sample:
Scenario: You’re alone behind enemy lines and you get the eerie feeling someone’s watching you. You’re trying to remain quiet, stay low, work your way back to the frontlines - but you can’t help but feel you’re being followed… (How does your character React? What’s running through their mind?)
OOG: I'm not sure if you guess write in 3rd or 1st person on this site, so I guess I'll just go with 3rd for now.
The night is dark, cold. Fire is seen off into the distance but there is no noise. Donald Sullivan remains crouched behind a patch of bushes. He wipes a bead of sweat from his brown, adjusting his helmet as he does so. Holding his breathe, Don tries to hear any sign or movement or activity. There is none. Something doesn't feel right, and Don knows that he's all by himself. He rises to his feet and begins to move. A fast walk becomes a jog, and a jog becomes a sprint. His fear is only outweighed by his adrenaline as he holds his rifle close to him - finger on the trigger.
He sprints through the woods until something overcomes him. He doesn't see anything, nor does he see anything, but his gut feeling tells him there is someone about. Don drops to his stomach and raises his gun. He thinks about firing a bullet at a nearby tree but he is interrupted.
"Thunder!"
Don eases for a second. He tries to squint, thinking that will do him some good in the pitch-black forrest.
"Thunder!"
Don replies automatically.
"Lighting... lighting!"
A figure then emerges from behind a tree, then another from behind the bush that was almost torn to shreds by Don's bullets. He raises to one knee and pushes his helmet back, letting his weapon slowly drop to the side.
"Boy, am I glad to see you guys..."
The two men laugh as Don exhales a sigh of relief. He wonders if he will make it out of the war alive.
Yes we do write in third person on this site. Also, we right in past tense, not present tense as you were writing in. In case you don't know, Paste tense is words such as 'Don did' and 'Don saw'. I'll give you a Sergeant rank.
~Dan
Account E-Mail: Edited Out!
Name: Donald Sullivan
Nationality:
- American
What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
UK or US: US
Character History:
- Born in the small town of Finleyville, Pennsylvania on March 12, 1921, Don is the third of five children. His father, Kenneth, worked in the coal mines and his mother stayed at home to take care of the house and the children. Don was always a superb athlete as a kid but was known throughout town as a bit of a troublemaker. He had difficulties paying attention during school and always managed to find himself in a fist fight out on the playground. Due to his lackluster attitude towards education, Don was on the recieving end of many beatings given to him from his father during his childhood.
Don dropped out of school in the seventh grade to work in the coal mines with his dad and older brothers. When Don wasn't working, he could be found at the local boxing gym where he'd become quite a good fighter. Donnie entered into Western Pennsylvania's Silver Gloves tournament when he was sixteen years old and went all the way to the final match, losing in a split decision. Finleyville locals were proud of Don and, for a while, he was no longer seen as the troublemaker with a bad temper.
Don signed his papers to join the Army on March 14, 1939 - just two days after his eighteenth birthday. He was sent to Fort Bragg in North Carolina for Basic Training and was well on route to becoming an American soldier...
Military Rank:
- Assign me to whatever rank you deem fit.
Writing Sample:
Scenario: You’re alone behind enemy lines and you get the eerie feeling someone’s watching you. You’re trying to remain quiet, stay low, work your way back to the frontlines - but you can’t help but feel you’re being followed… (How does your character React? What’s running through their mind?)
OOG: I'm not sure if you guess write in 3rd or 1st person on this site, so I guess I'll just go with 3rd for now.
The night is dark, cold. Fire is seen off into the distance but there is no noise. Donald Sullivan remains crouched behind a patch of bushes. He wipes a bead of sweat from his brown, adjusting his helmet as he does so. Holding his breathe, Don tries to hear any sign or movement or activity. There is none. Something doesn't feel right, and Don knows that he's all by himself. He rises to his feet and begins to move. A fast walk becomes a jog, and a jog becomes a sprint. His fear is only outweighed by his adrenaline as he holds his rifle close to him - finger on the trigger.
He sprints through the woods until something overcomes him. He doesn't see anything, nor does he see anything, but his gut feeling tells him there is someone about. Don drops to his stomach and raises his gun. He thinks about firing a bullet at a nearby tree but he is interrupted.
"Thunder!"
Don eases for a second. He tries to squint, thinking that will do him some good in the pitch-black forrest.
"Thunder!"
Don replies automatically.
"Lighting... lighting!"
A figure then emerges from behind a tree, then another from behind the bush that was almost torn to shreds by Don's bullets. He raises to one knee and pushes his helmet back, letting his weapon slowly drop to the side.
"Boy, am I glad to see you guys..."
The two men laugh as Don exhales a sigh of relief. He wonders if he will make it out of the war alive.