Post by Owen Pearson on Sept 21, 2008 9:13:26 GMT
Accepted![/b]
There was no real fault with your writing skill, other than shorter ended sentences. I would be happy to give you the rank of Corporal, as you allowed this to be made as a staff decision.
Welcome to the website,
~Danny[/color]
Account E-Mail: (This is needed to validate your account)
EDITED OUT!
Name: Owen Pearson
Nationality:
- You may pick any, but remember, you will be apart of the US/UK Army - This is until new mass rank threads are added for other nationalities. Canadian
What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
UK or US: US
Character History:
- Write a brief Bio about your character’s background.
In 1913, Owen was born to a poor Canadian Family that was staying in the US. His hair was brown and his eyes were as blue as the sky. His family could not afford to transport of all three members of the family back over the border to their home country. He was left at an orphanage when just a few months old, never to know his parents.
The orphanage taught him hate. From the very beginning the oldest kids would pick on those beneath them for sheer pleasure. The few friends he made were taken away by families that would pass through. Eventually, he decided that he was worthless to the world because no body would come for him. He attempted suicide.
In the last moments of his existence, his telephone cord noose snapped. He fell to the floor hard. Then those in charge found him after his failed attempt and he was kept under strict surveillance. They also forced him to go to a Psychologist. He hated his Psychologist, in that he would declare superiority with pointlessly long medical terms. Even through his hatred, he got rid of his suicidal thoughts a few months before he was released from the orphanage because of age.
He had no training in any specialized field, so he decided to join the military to support himself. He paid attention through his training in order to learn as much as he could about military technique.
Military Rank:
- You may ‘TRY’ to request any rank, but depending on your Bio Quality and the current Rank’s Occupation, you may be asked to choose or another - or automatically assigned to one seen best fit.
[staff choice]
Writing Sample:
Scenario: You’re alone behind enemy lines and you get the eerie feeling someone’s watching you. You’re trying to remain quiet, stay low, work your way back to the frontlines - but you can’t help but feel you’re being followed… (How does your character React? What’s running through their mind?)
Owen found himself face deep in mud a heck of a distance into the enemies territory. He pulled his face out of the mud and used his hands to wipe it from his eyes. The grass brushed by his face as he army crawled over it. He would stop every few moments and look around, hoping that nobody noticed the explosion to have been caused by his hands.
He kept feeling that there was someone watching him move across the forested landscape. A person watching him could be holding onto the trunk of a nearby tree. He looked up and saw no enemies in the trees. He kept quiet to avoid being noticed by any enemy ears.
The ground was soft underneath him. It felt like crawling through a vat of old pudding, solid enough to keep you from drowning but squishy enough to cause discomfort. He could only keep moving steadily across towards his own frontlines, no alternative choice was available.
His gun was loaded and ready to fire. He was within sight of were he needed to go. There was a large battle in the opening that was in front of him. He followed the woods around the field to avoid being taken in the last moments of his struggle.
It may have taken longer, but he reached the frontlines of the force. He had successfully accomplished his mission and made it back safely.
There was no real fault with your writing skill, other than shorter ended sentences. I would be happy to give you the rank of Corporal, as you allowed this to be made as a staff decision.
Welcome to the website,
~Danny[/color]
Account E-Mail: (This is needed to validate your account)
EDITED OUT!
Name: Owen Pearson
Nationality:
- You may pick any, but remember, you will be apart of the US/UK Army - This is until new mass rank threads are added for other nationalities. Canadian
What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
UK or US: US
Character History:
- Write a brief Bio about your character’s background.
In 1913, Owen was born to a poor Canadian Family that was staying in the US. His hair was brown and his eyes were as blue as the sky. His family could not afford to transport of all three members of the family back over the border to their home country. He was left at an orphanage when just a few months old, never to know his parents.
The orphanage taught him hate. From the very beginning the oldest kids would pick on those beneath them for sheer pleasure. The few friends he made were taken away by families that would pass through. Eventually, he decided that he was worthless to the world because no body would come for him. He attempted suicide.
In the last moments of his existence, his telephone cord noose snapped. He fell to the floor hard. Then those in charge found him after his failed attempt and he was kept under strict surveillance. They also forced him to go to a Psychologist. He hated his Psychologist, in that he would declare superiority with pointlessly long medical terms. Even through his hatred, he got rid of his suicidal thoughts a few months before he was released from the orphanage because of age.
He had no training in any specialized field, so he decided to join the military to support himself. He paid attention through his training in order to learn as much as he could about military technique.
Military Rank:
- You may ‘TRY’ to request any rank, but depending on your Bio Quality and the current Rank’s Occupation, you may be asked to choose or another - or automatically assigned to one seen best fit.
[staff choice]
Writing Sample:
Scenario: You’re alone behind enemy lines and you get the eerie feeling someone’s watching you. You’re trying to remain quiet, stay low, work your way back to the frontlines - but you can’t help but feel you’re being followed… (How does your character React? What’s running through their mind?)
Owen found himself face deep in mud a heck of a distance into the enemies territory. He pulled his face out of the mud and used his hands to wipe it from his eyes. The grass brushed by his face as he army crawled over it. He would stop every few moments and look around, hoping that nobody noticed the explosion to have been caused by his hands.
He kept feeling that there was someone watching him move across the forested landscape. A person watching him could be holding onto the trunk of a nearby tree. He looked up and saw no enemies in the trees. He kept quiet to avoid being noticed by any enemy ears.
The ground was soft underneath him. It felt like crawling through a vat of old pudding, solid enough to keep you from drowning but squishy enough to cause discomfort. He could only keep moving steadily across towards his own frontlines, no alternative choice was available.
His gun was loaded and ready to fire. He was within sight of were he needed to go. There was a large battle in the opening that was in front of him. He followed the woods around the field to avoid being taken in the last moments of his struggle.
It may have taken longer, but he reached the frontlines of the force. He had successfully accomplished his mission and made it back safely.