Old Stomping Grounds (Kitty, another by invite)

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

The sun was beginning to rise as Ed and Stephen made it to the edge of the forest. The birds had starting singing about an hour ago which helped calm McMillan's nerves as they made their way through the dense brush until they came upon the opening. This was the end of the road for Ed, he would go no farther. Colly would be safe behind Allied lines and probably be eating a warm meal while Ed had to sneak back through the front lines to safety. Shouldn't prove to be too hard of a task as he was now wearing civilian clothes and could speak English just as well as most anyone he would meet, but that might not be so easy if he was recognized by anyone. Their departure from the SS holding facility had been a lot more easier to pull off than Edward had anticipated, granted the fact that it was pitch black outside when they executed the move helped, but none the less it worried the Sturmscharführer. Sneaking through the lines however would have been near impossible had they not been able to steal some civilian clothes off of an unsuspecting family's clothes line in their back yard.

McMillan slowed his pace to a soft walk as he began panting slightly, this hadn't been a leisurely stroll except for when it needed to look like one, they had to move and move quickly so they could put as much distance between themselves and anyone that would have been looking for them. Luckily McMillan did not have duty that day until after the sun went down so he would be able to make it back and square his gear away before anyone was the wiser...hopefully he wasn't needed for anything important. With any luck the showers will have been repaired by the time he returned so most soldiers would be occupied with cleaning themselves instead of bugging him for whatever reason they could think of, that and he would need one when he returned as well. Ed had yet to form any strong bonds with anyone in his unit, he did have a strong sense of loyalty to his commander and looked up to the man, but they were not close friends...yet. So there would be no one wanting to chat more than likely.

"Well this is as far as I can go with you Stephen..." pausing only to catch a breath "...you will have to make the last segment of the trip alone." he finished as he stood straight to look out into the slowly awakening field. Dew and frost still clung to most things so it would be easy to spot a set of footprints in them, and two pair with one set returning would look rather odd, best not to risk spiking the curiosity of anyone that may be in the area within the next hour. It was certain that Colly's presence would not take long to be noticed since he had probably been listed as Missing in Action for a few weeks, however there would be too much of a time window needed to question him about it and then come after Edward, he would be but a ghost in the mist of the morning air by the time they even arrived at the duo's current location.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen had been keeping his eye on the back of Edward McMillan the whole way. The sun was rising, casting an orange glow over the frosty ground, if Stephen hadn’t been nervous he would have found it rather beautiful, another day was dawning, more lives would be shattered.

He and his friend were both wearing civilian clothing so had found the way out of the front lines easier than expected. The sound of birds tweeting had started an hour before and after a while, the happiness of these sounds began to annoy Stephen as he walked, following in the footsteps of Edward through the bush.

Edward was panting up ahead, he was getting tired and so was Stephen – they had been walking quickly ever since they had got out of the ear/eye sight of any Nazis. Stephen nearly was bumping into Edward as he slowed and stopped to let the man get ahead of him a bit and then continued to walk slowly behind, controlling his breathing.

They had reached a clearing…finally! Stephen stopped and leant against a tree, gulping down air and then pushed off it to stand next to Edward who had also stopped and was speaking.

"Well this is as far as I can go with you Stephen...you will have to make the last segment of the trip alone." Stephen followed Edward’s gaze and saw that he was looking out at the field which the sun was shinning on. The boy did not know what to say, he knew that he would have to go the rest of the way on his own as it would be suicidal if Edward came any further as he would most likely be taken as prisoner…not good.

Stephen sighed slightly, ”Thank you for this,” he glanced up at Ed as he said this, watching his facial expression – so strong, so beautiful, it was odd to think that this man could lead a whole army into battle…he seemed just so…soft to Stephen. He knew that he would have to get a move on in a few minutes because if they were to be spotted then it wouldn’t be good, surely they wouldn’t be spotted this far away from the Nazis and no Allied soldier would be out wondering this close to the Axis lines.

But he had to say what he had been meaning to say since he had met the man standing in front of him, he had never had the courage, he had hinted at it to Edward but he hadn’t got it…obviously he would have to say it straight.

”Ed…look, can I tell you something? Something rather…personal?” he asked, rubbing his left arm with the right hand, looking rather embarrassed, he caught his breathing and backed away towards a tree, leaning on it for support.

”You probably won’t like what I am about to say…” he muttered almost to himself as his large brown eyes fixed on Edward’s.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

Ed caught his breath a bit more as Stephen thanked him and McMillan turned toward Colly and nodded slightly. "We really have some pretty tough luck huh?" he said humorously with a small laugh. Although it was no laughing matter, but it just seemed the pair were destined to see each other and destined to mess things up when it happened. Edward reached into his pocket and withdrew his semi crushed pack of cigarettes and flicked the pack upward a few times so that a few of the tobacco sticks were protruding from the small opening at the top then he leaned over and held them out to offer one to Stephen before pulling them back and perching one on his own lips. "Aw man it's gonna be one of those days." he said with a deep sigh looking out ahead of the duo. He pocketed his smokes and fiddled around his pocket for his lighter, handing it to Colly if he had taken one and then lighting his own. Ed took a long drag before he snapped his lighter shut and dropped it back in it's place.

He turned to the boy with a slightly curious look on his face. "Personal? Yeah man, go for it." he said softly as he exhaled the smoke that had filled his lungs. He started to lean back against a rotten out tree trunk but when Stephen backed away with a seemingly odd look about it Ed began to worry. What could he be wanting to tell Ed? As much as they had been through and something could still be this difficult to share between them. Then when Colly said Ed wouldn't like it, he became very nervous. What the heck could he want to say? Can it really bother him so much to almost cower, here, after all we've been through? God don't tell me you have cancer? Is it Liam? Is he alright?... several dozen horrible thoughts rushed through Ed's head as his eyes began to pace back and forth with a look of concern begin to creep across his face. He tried to sound reassuring with his words, but he honestly didn't know how convincing they would sound. "Ah come now, it can't be that bad can it?" he just kept looking at Colly trying to work up a small smile. Please don't let it be that bad.

Now McMillan leaned on back to rest himself on the rotted out trunk, it had been an extremely long time since he had received news that would make his knees weak but he had a feeling that this could be one of those rare moments...then again it could just be something slightly exaggerated, after all the boy had been a Prisoner of War for almost a month now.

[Stephen Colly]

”"We really have some pretty tough luck huh?"” Stephen nodded, they did indeed. The countless times the two of them could have been killed was coming up to double figures…

Edward withdrew a cigarette packet from his pocket, and offered some to Stephen which he took willingly and quickly, he stuck it into his mouth and grabbed the lighter shakily from Edward’s outstretched hand, lighting the stick and then chucking it back at his friend.

”Thanks,” he muttered as he blew out the smoke, taking a drag and watching as it twirled into the morning air, like it was dancing, dancing away to a safer place. He could see Edward’s face out of the corner of his eye, the eyebrows had furrowed, the man looked worried…He probably thinks I am going to die or something along those lines... Stephen thought as he leant away and on to the tree this time, the cigarette hanging from his left hand.

"Ah come now, it can't be that bad can it?" Yes…yes it can. Stephen bit his bottom lip, frantically trying to phrase words in his head…come to think of it, the actually thing he was about to say wasn’t too bad in the sense he wasn’t going to die…what had Nathan said? But he could go to prison for it…but that was stupid…surely if you loved someone…someone of the same sex…that wasn’t a crime? What was the world coming to?

He opened his mouth, his eyes scanning the surrounding, thought better then closed it. He remembered Nathan’s reaction to what he had said…a low whistle…a sudden shock expression on the Kiwi’s face…that had been bad…this would most likely be worse…it wasn’t the whole being gay thing that Stephen was worried about telling Edward, it was the whole “And I love you like a man loves a woman” thing. Ah well, Edward was grown up, he could deal with it surely.

”Well…umm…” he took a long drag, ”Err…” he laughed nervously, running his right hand through his tangled mousy brown hair, ”Look Ed, you and I…we’ve been though loads haven’t we…” he paused, ”I didn’t choose this you know…But sometimes life can be really weird, it can be that fucking weird that you can’t control it…shit…” he swore to himself, shaking his head slightly, ”Basically what I am trying to say is you have been really kind to me and helped me so much…I mean, I love you Ed…” he stopped and edged slightly closer, staring the man in the eye, a meaningful stare – ”I mean, I really do.” He sighed, and rubbed his face, please don’t take it the wrong way… he thought frantically, a worried expression slowly crossing his face.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

Ed looked on at Stephen, forgetting to blink as the young man started to stumble a bit with his words, almost like he didn't want to say them. McMillan has always thought the bond they shared was quite possibly the closest anyone could ever experience, yet still it seemed there were things that were hard to say between them, anything of that magnitude had to be some kind of life changing event. But a month of captivity added into the fact that they had seen more than there share of combat could rattle anyone, so Colly's nerves were probably worn thin as well. "We have indeed, more so than I care to count." he slipped into Stephen's pause. He listened on, shaking his head ever so slightly listening to the boy speak of unchangeable things, maybe even unwanted ones.

Ed added in another small bit at what he thought was the next pause. "I love you too Stephen, hell you're probably the only sane individual left in this horrid mess." he stopped to take a small drag from his cigarette before he continued on. "So what is it man, you can tell me anything, no need to remind me of how close we are, I live every day with these thoughts as well. I'll never forget you, even if we live through this thing and head off to do whatever it is we were meant for, I'll always have a spare blanket in the closet if you have no where to go." Listening to himself Ed almost convinced himself there was no cause to fear whatever it was Colly was going to say, none the less if it was difficult to get out, there was no way it could be good.

Ed finally blinked, realizing that he had been so intently focused on whatever it was that Stephen needed to get off his chest he had totally forgotten where they were, and what they were doing, he almost panicked for a moment when he realized he was wearing civilian clothes. He looked out over the clearing ahead of the pair, it's vastness almost screaming at Ed as if it were holy ground where McMillan could no longer be welcomed, he swallowed hard remembering that when the two were near one another Newton's Law was usually abundant.

[Stephen Colly]

Ed didn’t get it…he didn’t get it.

"We have indeed, more so than I care to count.”

"I love you too Stephen, hell you're probably the only sane individual left in this horrid mess."

”Yeah, probably am.” he muttered

"So what is it man, you can tell me anything, no need to remind me of how close we are, I live every day with these thoughts as well. I'll never forget you, even if we live through this thing and head off to do whatever it is we were meant for, I'll always have a spare blanket in the closet if you have no where to go."

Ironic much. Spare blanket in the closet…don’t worry Stephen was already in the closet, so far in that he didn’t know if he would ever be able to come out again. He stared slightly helplessly at Ed, the two were extremely close now and he could see the hardened face, the battle scars lined across cheek and neck, the two of them were tormented by war, one wanted to be in the war, the other out of it.

”I’d love to come and live with you Ed, I’d love that…but you don’t seem to get it…” he shook his head, his voice slightly desperate, ”You don’t seem to get that the love I feel…it’s not meant to be…it’s illegal…I’d be locked up if anyone found out.” Twig Ed, twig, did he really have to explain it any further?

He took a long drag of the cigarette and blew the smoke out of his mouth, out across the little clearing which was suddenly very quite; he could not hear the birds singing.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

OOC: When should we bring the third member into this? They don't have to be right with at at first, just watching at a distance or something, maybe even taking notes LOL!

IC:Ed smiled a bit, almost a short laugh as Stephen acknowledged that he may indeed be the last one left thinking straight. He continued smoking his cigarette, enjoying the chance to just hang around for a moment with no responsibilities, nothing behind chasing him, nothing ahead trying to kill or capture him, it was nice. After all there were rare chances it seemed for any soldier to just stop and 'smell the roses'. Wonder what it's going to be like when this mess is all over? What will I do for a living? Will I see the end of this? these were the questions that pulled at his mind the most, they were probably the questions that pulled at most soldiers minds the most on both sides of the conflict.

Locked up, there was an understatement. "It goes both ways man, if anyone on my end found out about our connection I'd probably be shot and they would haul you in for real the next time, probably wouldn't let you go either." It was odd that Colly was talking about what they had just went through as if it hadn't even happened, or at least not yet. "You feeling ok man?" he asked as he took the last drag of his cigarette. "Did they drug you up? I told them there was no need for that junk. I swear the Nazis are so freakin head strong, can't tell them anything." he shook his head with a sarcastic smile thinking about the stubbornness he had witnessed all too often in almost every aspect at some time or another in the life of a soldier and a leader.

Ed looked behind him and spotted a rotted out tree that had fallen over leaving a semi nice spot to sit for a moment. "I'm gonna sit for a few minutes, the trip back isn't gonna be a fun one." He said with a small grunt as he pressed his hands on his thighs and lowered himself down. "Oh that's nice, pull up a stump man." again he smiled, the lax situation was getting to him and he was going to try and enjoy every moment of it while he could.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen waited, willing Edward to twig at what he was getting at…


"It goes both ways man, if anyone on my end found out about our connection I'd probably be shot and they would haul you in for real the next time, probably wouldn't let you go either."

For god sake Ed. the thoughts rushed through his mind, his whole body stiffened at the realism that Ed wasn’t getting it and may never.

"You feeling ok man? Did they drug you up? I told them there was no need for that junk. I swear the Nazis are so freakin head strong, can't tell them anything."

Stephen gave a short laugh at this, drugged him? No, but he sometimes wished they had. Why didn’t the man get it? Why did he make a connection like Nathan had? Obviously Ed didn’t see it the way Stephen saw it…the man wondered over to a rotten old tree and sat down on it, jokily saying for Stephen to “pull up a stump.”
No smile crossed Stephen’s face now, he so wanted Edward to know, he wanted the man to realize…this may be the last time they ever saw each other…or at least until the war was over when one of them would be in chains….or dead already.

The boy’s eyes trailed over the man with slight yearning, he glanced towards the man’s face and came a step closer, ”You don’t get it, do you?” he said softly, ”A clever man like you…” a small, sad smile crossed his face. He came even closer and knelt down, staring at Edward intently as if transfixed by him. He reached a hand up very slowly, not really knowing if the thing he was about to do was the right thing.

He stretched his neck, putting his other hand on the other side of Ed’s face if the man would allow it, and if he did then Stephen would reach up and softly kiss him on the corner of his lips.

”I’m not drugged up.” he breathed into Edward’s ear.

OOC - If you want me to change this JT then say so, I dont mind...and about the other person...dont mind either!

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

OOC: HAHAHA!!! Well that was unexpected and forward, was enjoying playing dumb, but I guess it was time to move on from that. Well played Kitty.

IC: Ed liked to think of himself as a smart man, well he really just tried to keep topics on subjects he knew about, which weren't that many, but clever, it wasn't very often he was called clever. Wasn't very often he was paid a complement of any sort really, other than "Good job." that was about the extent of it. The words made him ponder for the briefest of moments before he turned his attention back to Stephen, now having knelt right next to him, the look in his eyes was...odd, something Ed had never seen before, or at least hadn't noticed. What's goin on in his head, is he worried someone will hear him or somethi...WHAT THE FUCK!?! It was a simple thought that turned crazy in a fraction of a heartbeat.

Ed jolted back as the idea of what was happening slammed into his head like a ton of bricks that fell from a faulty crane arm. His balance started to go as the shifting weight crumbled one side of the rotted out stump. he turned rapidly to catch himself before he slammed into the ground. "Colly!" he blurted quickly before he started back to his feet. "Get a hold of yourself man!" he said with a slightly worried but mostly forceful tone, it was the first time he had ever spoken to him as if speaking to his troops, it didn't feel right, the whole ordeal didn't feel the slightest bit right. "Look I know you have been through a lot locked up in an SS prison, and for that I'm sorry, but you need to get a grip on reality real quick and in a hurry man. This isn't the time or place to lose ones mind, you still have to get in there and figure out a way to explain all this, and I'd prefer they believe you than your mind go farther off the deep end and they too lock you up." Ed had heard stories of Liam slipping off the edge a bit, but Colly going as well, it was all in a small proximity, maybe the food in the 7th's chow hall was bad, but Colly hadn't eaten there.

"Look man, I don't know what they did to you back in that prison, and frankly I don't want to know..." Ed had calmed himself enough to notice he had a good bit of dirt on his hands and arms from almost falling over being surprised. He started dusting himself off as he continued. "...but you better get your head on straight." As he stood there for a moment McMillan couldn't help but think maybe he had something to do with all that was going on in Colly's head. The boy had been through more than most men endure in two lifetimes and hadn't killed himself, that was a testament and a half to the lad's determination. Now it wasn't looking so good though. "I hope they allow you a bit of leave shortly after you get back, you need a break from this more than most man, I hope you get it, a little relaxation could probably do wonders for you." Ed honestly had no clue what would be best for him, but with the thoughts of aiding in the possible break down of Colly were weighing on him very intensely and seeing it first hand was horrible to witness, Ed was worrying heavily and began to look around frantically, he didn't know what to do, to say he was on the verge of freaking out would be an understatement.

[Stephen Colly]

Well that went well.

The kiss lasted longer than Stephen had anticipated so he wasn’t surprised when Edward jolted back, falling over as a result. He, Stephen, had been leaning nearly his whole weight on the man and so toppled forward on to the stump, giving a slight moan as he hit it, picking himself up quickly and looking around at Edward who had acclaimed –

”Colly! Get a hold of yourself man!”[/b]

The tone was forceful and it made Stephen draw back slightly; wiping his mouth, he had had a feeling, one very strong that Edward would react like he was now. It was the first time Stephen had heard the man speak like that and it frightened him. Edward was now rambling:

"Look I know you have been through a lot locked up in an SS prison, and for that I'm sorry, but you need to get a grip on reality real quick and in a hurry man. This isn't the time or place to lose ones mind, you still have to get in there and figure out a way to explain all this, and I'd prefer they believe you than your mind go farther off the deep end and they too lock you up."

Better keep quite until he’s finished.

"Look man, I don't know what they did to you back in that prison, and frankly I don't want to know...but you better get your head on straight."

Stephen laughed drily at this, shaking his head slightly, but Edward was still talking.

"I hope they allow you a bit of leave shortly after you get back, you need a break from this more than most man, I hope you get it, a little relaxation could probably do wonders for you."

He took a deep breath, keeping his distance. ”You think what I feel is madness? Is that it Ed?” he said quietly. He stared at the man, his eyes filling with tears.

”They didn’t do anything to me Ed! This is whole I feel, this is who I am for fuck’s sake!” he hadn’t meant to shout, or swear, he hadn’t meant to get angry but this was the reaction that he had been expecting. ”You’ve gotta understand Ed, I used to love you as a friend, I really did but…but when I had these…feelings…for you, when you…left…they got stronger…I didn’t see you as a friend any more…I…I…saw you as…as…something more.” he paused, taking a shaky breath, ”I tried Ed, I tried to push these feelings away but they wouldn’t go! That’s why I have been wanting to meet up, that’s why I risked my life to see you, I’ve never felt anything like I have felt with you Ed. I know you don’t return the same sort of feelings that I do…I told you I had something to say, and now I’ve told it.” he paused again but quickly carried on. ”You probably see me as a fucking, stinking, wrong homosexual person don’t you? That’s what the Nazis think…” his eyes flashed but then when they settled on Ed they became more soft.

”Don’t the Nazis shoot homosexuals? Well, here’s your chance.” he gave a sad smile and shrugged, ”Look, I’m sorry, sorry for startling you. It was quite a sight watching you…never seen you look so startled.”

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

What ever Colly's intent was, what ever reaction he was looking for was going to be sorely absent, it was never a good idea to provoke a bull in a china shop, things had a tendency to go horribly wrong. Ed's face stopped squinting, stopped trying to figure it out, he had risked his neck and the necks of some damn fine soldiers to get this boy to safety, if for no other reason than to offer him a chance at a future, where sane men belonged. Feeling insulted and slightly backed into a corner Ed figured he might as well play the drastic game, see who belonged and who didn't.

With a swift movement of his arm, while his body stayed solemn and stone like, he whipped his pistol out from the small of his back, the only weapon he had kept with him, the same pistol that had wounded Wolfram near that river with Liam, the same pistol that claimed the lives of four of his own men when he shunned his British uniform in place of an SS one. Now that very same pistol, with so much fate tied into it, was less than an inch from Stephen's face, shaking slightly due to the tiring move through Allied lines. Ed's gaze wasn't angry, or insane, it was just empty. "Really Stephen?" he asked, his lip trembled ever so slightly as his emotions began to break through. "This is what you think of me? This is what you think I have become?" he asked even more, holding back the tears. Ed might not have been the best of men, heck he probably wasn't even one of the decent ones, but he did his best to try and make things a better place for those that deserved it. "I put my life on the line for you and you throw this in my face because of the clothes I wear?!" a bit of anger had crept it's way in out of sheer disappointment and disbelief. The one person he cared for the most on the face of this earth was looking at him like a significant other and talking to him like a monster.

Hesitantly Ed reached over and pulled the hammer back on the pistol, with a heavy click time seemed to stand still, he leaned in toward Stephen, the pistol remaining in place more or less. Ed swallowed hard and cleared his throat before he began to whisper. "So tell me now Stephen, staring death in the face, is this what you want? Is this what you want...FROM ME!?!" he spat, glaring at the young man's face. "You want a kiss and a bullet?!" Ed said in almost a demeaning tone. He had always looked upon Colly as a son, and tried to be somewhat of a father figure to him when they were around one another, well fathers weren't always nice, but he meant well...with a slightly insane taste about it.

Ed slowly backed away lowering his sidearm to rest in his grasp next to his thigh, he took a deep breath keeping his eyes on the young boy. "Hell I don't know what you want, I can't even tell if you know what you want. All I do know is that this should not be happening, at least not here and not now." he exhaled shaking his head a bit in frustration. "The longer we stay here the better chances we both have of being shot. Which, by the way, hurts, a whole lot, and I'm not going anywhere until you have disappeared over that hill where there is nothing more I can do to help you." Ed whipped his face and shoved his pistol back into his belt. "Don't you get it, there is almost nothing I wouldn't do for you, I'd give my own life just so you could have one more day. You're like a son to me Stephen and no army or war is gonna come between that. And when things happen that mess all that up when I'm around it drives me fuckin nuts!" he sighed, his emotions were sloshing around like a raft in a hurricane, he didn't know what to do or what to say, he just wanted to do what he always did and keep the boy safe. "So can you please just run over there, not look back, not wave, just go back where it's safe and let me live out what's left of my life knowing you'll live a hell of a lot longer than me?" the backs of his eyes burned as the tears slowly began to well up inside him. He couldn't let Stephen see him cry if he could help it, what good would he be if he couldn't keep himself together.

[Stephen Colly]

Maybe Stephen had been slightly harsh in his sudden criticism of Edward. The man, like he rightly pointed out, had risked his neck to get him out of that prison cell. Suddenly, Stephen was staring down the barrel of a gun, the first rays of morning reflected off it and his eyes widened in slight shock. Where had that come from?!

He dared to look at Edward’s face and his stomach dropped; the man’s face was empty, no emotion what so ever and his lip trembled when he spoke. Stephen glanced at the gun and then back into those eyes, his own face now one of a startled rabbit’s. Now Edward held angry in his voice, and it frightened Stephen even more by this sudden change of emotion.

Then the hammer clicked into place and the boy gasped slightly, he was breathing heavily, his heart pounding against his chest. And then Edward leant forwards and whispered: "So tell me now Stephen, staring death in the face, is this what you want? Is this what you want...FROM ME!?! You want a kiss and a bullet?!"

Stephen swallowed and then said, in a rather choked, small voice, ”No…n-no.” he shook his head, ”I…I d-didn’t m-mean it l-like that…” he trailed off as Edward began to speak again, the gun now lowered to his side. He began to speak yet again, and everything he said was like a knife in Stephen’s heart. The pistol was back in place. What Edward said next made tears well up even more in Stephen’s eyes, threatening to break the surface…

"Don't you get it, there is almost nothing I wouldn't do for you, I'd give my own life just so you could have one more day. You're like a son to me Stephen and no army or war is gonna come between that. And when things happen that mess all that up when I'm around it drives me fuckin nuts!"

He swallowed again and looked away towards the sun, rubbing his eyes and looking back at Edward again as he spoke of not looking back and how…he should let Ed live out what was left of his life, knowing….no…

He could see emotion in Ed’s face, but he knew the hard Irishman wasn’t going to try and let the tears and emotions get to him. Silence now filled the little clearing; Stephen did not know what to say at all. He walked over to the stump where Ed had just been and sat down on it, putting his face in his hands and gripping his hair slightly. His breathing was now shaky as he tried to stop himself from crying and he just sat there for a few seconds. Silence. He glanced up at Edward, staring at him, taking in the features of his battle-torn face. He took one shaky breath and uttered, ”I love you.” he looked away and clasped his hands together. He stood up and, keeping his eyes fixed to Edward, he walked forwards, not for a kiss this time…but for a hug. ”I just want to….to…” he said slowly, and softly as he approached and wrapped his arms around Edward’s waist, like a child would to a father, and hugged him, tears now falling in earnest down his face as he hugged the man who he knew, would never love him how he loved him….but would love him, in a different way.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

Edward sighed deeply I know you didn't mean it like that, I'm just so lost as to what to do. he thought as he looked at the young man for a moment before lowering his gaze and taking a deep breath. McMillan rubbed his hand over his face a time or two trying to make sense of it all, but the tasked proved to be impossible, at least for the moment.

Ed had always counted himself lucky to know Stephen, it's what kept him from slipping off into the deep end like so many other men that seemed to only know war these days, men that were once good men with families, now all they knew was suffering and pain, but it had been around for so long that those things were now normal and several of them even enjoyed it and appeared to thrive on it. Colly was what kept Ed from becoming one of those men, if they could even be considered that.

Stephen took a seat on the stump and just looked so sad to Ed. What have I done?! he asked himself. The person he was the closest to and he had just put a gun in the lads face. But the moments passed before he could figure out what was next. Then there came a hug, Colly head landed on Ed's chest and that was all she wrote. Edward clenched his teeth with all his might and exhaled quickly through his nose and stopped breathing. His forehead wrinkled as he tried to tighten the muscles in his face to keep his emotions from over taking him. His lips pressed together with great force as he tried to look away back into the woods from which they came, but it was all going blurry now. Ed just slowly raised a hand and held Colly as a tear left his eye rolling down his cheek without the slightest pause before falling onto his shoulder. Ed slowly opened his mouth before easily taking in a breath of air, trying to keep himself calm and poised with everything he could. His breath was shaking and no matter what he did there was no way he could have hidden that from Stephen. "I love you too boy." he said once he got his breathing under control. He sniffed abruptly after his words, the emotions having loosened his sinuses.

He forced himself to swallow to try and calm down but it wasn't working very well as he just stood there at the edge of the tree-line, holding Colly in the early moments since the sun had fully risen into the sky. Just can't make this easy on me can you? Ed pondered as a smile flashed on his face. Just a simple 'goodbye' and we would have gotten back on with our lives...course I guess things never are easy for us whether it was our fault or not...luck just isn't in the cards for us. Ed almost let out the smallest of laughs but he didn't feel it very appropriate for the situation, he wasn't in a laughing mood, just all that they had been through flashed in his head...it was a story he would tell his children and theirs...if he ever had them.

[Stephen Colly]

Edward had put an arm around Stephen as they hugged. His emotions had let loose long before Edward’s had and he didn’t know quite what to do with himself. His grip around the other guy’s body was extremely tight and he didn’t know quite how to sort of let go without bursting into tears.
He wanted to stay like this forever, like this and not have to make the trudge homewards. He didn’t want to leave Ed in all this mess – of course the man would be fine – but Stephen wouldn’t be. He’d live his life knowing that he’d never be accepted in society if he didn’t change. He knew now that he must…he had been putting it off for a long time but now…now that he knew how Edward thought…well, it had to be done.

He felt something damp on his shoulder and realized it was a tear from Edward. The man finally had showed some emotion. Stephen was probably the only person to see Edward as upset as he was now. He then spoke, his voice shaky and spoke the words that Stephen had wanted to hear for so long.

”I love you too boy.”

He felt the sun’s rays hit his back, warming him slightly. They stood for a few seconds longer before Stephen drew away, knowing that if he stayed there any longer he’d become part of Edward and try and cling to him. He had to force himself to take his arms away from Edward’s body and back to his side. I want to stay, I want to stay he couldn’t…no, he couldn’t. His face was wet with crying, his eyes red and swollen from the tears, he couldn’t walk into the allied camp looking like this?! He sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve, almost how a child would. He glanced up at Edward and saw that the emotions had definitely hit him.

”Why does life have to be so fucking mean.” he mumbled, not wanting to move from where he was, not wanting to have to turn around and leave. He cast his eyes down to the ground and rubbed his eyes with his hands, making them redder without wanting or meaning to.

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

Ed just enjoyed what he could of the moment, rarely did he feel so strongly and he wanted to remember it. The next time it happened could be a good distance away. He kept his eyes locked on Colly as the lad stepped back. Ed's face could have been the poster for regret but Ed jerked his head away for fear his expressions would cause more turmoil. McMillan tried to ease the muscles in his face and calm himself but the moment he let up his jaw trembled and he clenched it once more. After several slow breaths Edward was able to calm himself to the point he could control himself easier.

"Life?" Ed almost smiled at the question. Life was never mean, it was precious. It's the situations life deals you that can cloud the idea. "Life only burdens those capable of carrying the weight Stephen, the ones that can't carry it...die. Look at all we've been through, the battles, the scars, the adventures, it's all life, and this is just our burden to handle." Ed stopped and wiped his mouth and cleared his throat. He shifted his weight as he looked out over the horizon. "There are very few that could have come as far as we have through all this. We're quite the pair of individuals you know." McMillan smiled as he turned his gaze back to Colly. "I betrayed my friends and you don't like women, I can't think of any other friendship that has endured so much." Ed slid a hand onto the top of Stephen's hair and ruffled it a bit. "There is no doubt in my mind that our friendship will make it through this war. And you and I both know this isn't goodbye Stephen, not by a long shot. So keep your chin up man. We'll see each other again in the near future."

Ed stepped back and pulled out another cigarette, thinking of all they had truly made it through made him extremely happy. Most anything that underwent this much stress usually snapped in some way, but not Stephen and Ed. This was a friendship that had already stood the test of time, and even though they had overcome their hardships, staring them in the face when they arrived wasn't easy, still they had pushed through each one of them...TOGETHER. Ed pulled another cigarette from his pack and lit both at once before reaching over to hand the second one to Stephen. "Dry your eyes Stephen, it's a new day, and I can't trot on back to my side of this mess with you looking like that."