Douglass MacOmbish

[MacOmbish]

I cannot accept this until you fix the grammar. You have barely any full stops in the whole application. I would suggest using a word document (Microsoft word, etc) to help you if you aren't very good at grammar.

Account E-Mail: ([e-mail]

Name: Jacob Jonson

Nationality:
- Scottish, Will serve, SAF, RAF

Character History:
- Born in Scotland Douglas's father was a game keeper and his mother a cook, they made a modest income living, As soon as Douglass could walk he was fascinated with the air, more importantly, flying. Day in day out he would watch planes fly over head, then he learned to read. Now he was studying war tactics from all areas of the globe, learning how to fly a plane from books, in theory. But this was all put on hold when his parents where killed in a car crash he was sent even higher in Scotland to live with his parents clan the Mac Tomas clan, he had even more time to study now literally learning everything about flying, then he studied military tactics from World war one, he knew how the weather would affect flying, he knew the radio protocol he knew all of major air ports in France, United kingdom,and Germany, then the clan thought it in his best interest to pull together and buy
a bi-plane, Douglass at first thought it was a joke then he realized that it was real, He went down to Glasgow air port passing the flight test with flying colors he was cleared to fly at age 17, He then fly the United kingdom for a short time before the war came on, he purchased a revolver and hunting rifle, and when the weather was poor he studied new information about the German aircraft, learning the stress points, speed, and armament, he then studied the new American planes learning the stress points of the American, aircraft he then finally studied the spitfire and hurricanes, now with nothing to study he flew the coast watching, he didn't know why, then the first bombing raid came, he was in the air helpless however he did knick a junker in the wing with his hunting rifle now he joined the RAF weeks later the draft was issued he was in the war, his first assignment was guarding the coast line with his wing man not too hard of a job he thought, he was wrong the constant attacks from the Germans exhausted him he had eight different wingmen in eight days, but for some odd reason he was lucky, or skilled he had never even gotten nicked by a German bullet, he called it luck others called it skill

Military Rank:
- Squadron Leader




Writing Sample:
Scenario: You’re alone in enemy air space. Your wingman has been shot down, and you have a feeling that an enemy plane is stalking you. What does your charachter do, what does he feel? What is he thinking?

Douglass watched as his wingman spiraled down to the ground, He scanned the air for enemy aircraft, he had the feeling that a 109 was going to spring on him any moment he climbed upward till his engine was near stalling and his arms and legs felt cold from that attitude he thought he saw a whole squadron of Messerschmidt-109s he dove down at them but as he did they disappeared frustrated Douglass climbed again he thought "what happened to that squadron! they were RIGHT THERE" suddenly douglass had the feeling a lone plane was following him he throttled down and waited for the plane to make its run then he knew what he would do jurk up and to the left then slowing down making the plane pass then he would accelerate and come up behind, then it was a dog fight who knows the end of it

[MacOmbish]

i checked it in open office and it was perfect, i know grammer is my weak point but is there something else i can us, like right their i can tell i made a mistake but dont know how to fix it

[MacOmbish]

Account E-Mail: ([e-mail]

Name: Jacob Jonson

Nationality:
- Scottish, Will serve, SAF, RAF

Character History:
- Born in Scotland Douglas's father was a game keeper and his mother a cook, they made a modest income living, As soon as Douglass could walk he was fascinated with the air, more importantly, flying. Day in day out he would watch planes fly over head, then he learned to read. Now he was studying war strategy from all areas of the globe, learning how to fly a plane from books, in theory. But this was all put on hold when his parents where killed in a car crash he was sent even higher in Scotland to live with his parents clan the Mac Tomas clan, he had even more time to study now literally learning everything about flying, then he studied military strategy from World war one, he knew how the weather would affect flying, he knew the radio protocol he knew all major air ports in France, United kingdom, and Germany, then the clan thought it in his best interest to pull together and buy a bi-plane, Douglass at first thought it was a joke then he realized that it was real, He went down to Glasgow air port passing the flight test with flying colors he was cleared to fly at age 17, He then fly the United kingdom for a short time before the war came on, he purchased a revolver and hunting rifle, and when the weather was poor he studied new information about the German aircraft, learning the stress points, speed, and armament, he then studied the new American planes learning the stress points of the American, aircraft he then finally studied the spitfire and hurricanes, now with nothing to study he flew the coast watching, he did not know why, then the first bombing raid came, he was in the air helpless however he did knick a junker in the wing with his hunting rifle now he joined the RAF weeks later the draft was issued he was in the war, his first assignment was guarding the coast line with his wing man not too hard of a job he thought, he was wrong the constant attacks from the Germans exhausted him he had eight different wingmen in eight days, but for some odd reason he was lucky, or skilled he had never even gotten nicked by a German bullet, he called it luck others called it skill
Military Rank:
- Squadron Leader

Douglass watched as his wingman spiraled down to the ground, He scanned the air for enemy aircraft, he had the thinking that a 109 was going to spring on him any moment he climbed upward till his engine was near stalling and his arms and legs felt cold from that attitude he thought he saw a whole squadron of Messerschmidt-109s he dove down at them but as he did they disappeared frustrated Douglass climbed again he thought "what happened to that squadron! They were RIGHT THERE" suddenly douglass had the feeling a lone plane was following him he throttled down and waited for the plane to make its run then he knew what he would do jurk up and to the left then slowing down making the plane pass then he would accelerate and come up behind, then it was a dog fight who knows the end of it


Writing Sample:
Scenario: You’re alone in enemy air space. Your wingman has been shot down, and you have a feeling that an enemy plane is stalking you. What does your character do, what does he feel? What is he thinking?

[Wilhelm Schlegal]

Try looking at some of the accepted applications. They may be able to give you some ideas.

[Nathan Whyte]

You need to know the fundamental difference between a full stop (period for the Yanks) and a comma. A full stop indicates the end of a sentance, or a "big pause", while a comma separates ideas in a sentance, or is a sign for a "short pause."


IE, your first sentance, instead of being

Born in Scotland Douglas's father was a game keeper and his mother a cook, they made a modest income living, As

Should be:

Born in Scotland Douglas's father was a game keeper and his mother a cook, they made a modest income living. As

Hope this helps.

[Dmac]

ya...punctuation and grammer are my weak points as my old mod put it "Punctuation is not you enemy" ill do a big edit tomorrow

[Edward"Butcher"McMillan]

Dmac? I know a guy that goes by that nickname, chances are that you are him are...well not even slim really probably just none...nevermind

-JT

[Dmac]

Born in Scotland, Douglas' father was a game keeper and his mother a cook. They made a modest income. As soon as Douglass could walk, he was fascinated with the air, more importantly--flying. Day in day out he would watch planes fly overhead. Then he learned to read. Now he was studying war strategy from all areas of the globe, learning how to fly a plane from books, in theory. But this was all put on hold when his parents were killed in a car crash.
He was sent even higher in Scotland to live with his parents clan the Mac Tomas clan. He had even more time to study now, learning everything about flying.
Then he studied military strategy from World war one. He knew how the weather would affect flying. He knew the radio protocol, and all the major air ports in France, United kingdom, and Germany. Then his clan thought it in his best interest to pull together and buy a bi-plane.
At first, Douglass thought it was a joke. Then he realized that it was real. He went down to Glasgow airport, passing the flight test with flying colors. He was cleared to fly at age 17. He then flew over the United kingdom for a short time before the war came on. He purchased a revolver and hunting rifle.
When the weather was poor, he studied new information about the German aircraft, learning the stress points, speed, and armament. He then studied the new American planes learning the stress points of the American aircraft and studied the Spitfire and Hurricanes.
Now with nothing to study he flew the coast watching, he did not know why, then the first bombing raid came. He was not in the air and felt helpless, however he did knick a Junker in the wing with his hunting rifle.
Now he joined the RAF. A few weeks later, he was issued an assignment and he was off to the war. His first assignment was guarding the coast line with his wing man, "not too hard of a job," he thought. He was wrong! The constant attacks from the Germans exhausted him. He had eight different wingmen in eight days, but for some odd reason he was lucky or skilled. He had never even gotten nicked by a German bullet. He called it luck others called it skill

[AppoveDmac]

Hello just making sure you guys see this