Kensington (Toby)

[Tobias Elva Styles]

Tobias knew that the boy did not want to return to God's wrath. No one did. Not even the bloodthirsty sadist, it was the embodiment of hell. A hell that ripped out souls from mortals prematurely. No one deserved war, but it's life- major disagreements ensue, and people suffer. Like both him and Stephen.

The American gave a nod at the private as he excused himself to the restroom. It tickled the officer how the young man called the restroom a lavatory. Maybe it was the common word from the toilet in England, my how foreign it seemed. But Tobias was a foreigner, despite being here for most of the war. As the absence of the private settled in, Toby honed in with the various conversations that wafted through the establishment. Soft, pompous instrumental danced from the radio- it was the embodiment of joy and merriness. But it was all quickly melt away to metal, screams, and crimson.

In the midst of his self-awareness, Stephen returned. He seemed to be a bit uncomfortable and vexed. It struck why he was like that. But when he spilled the woman statement he knew. Probably had a run in.

"How did it go?"

It was a strange question, but it made the American curious. Toby leaned up to the table, propping his elbows, exposing more of his disfigured arms. He cupped his hands together, resting them under his rough chin. He did this when interest peaked him, well... it was his many quirks. The young man did have a number on him, but Toby was still figuring out how much of an effect the soldier held- and this time it probably was not the alcohol consuming his judgement.

[Stephen Colly]

"How did it go?"

The man lent closer to him, leaning his elbows on the table and watching him. Stephen glanced at his arms – covered in scars. His eyes travelled back to his face.

”Oh…nothing happened. Not in the mood at the moment.” he shrugged and lost eye contact, turning away and standing up again. He was very fidgety tonight. ”Im getting another drink.” he muttered, heading back to the bar with yet more money and brought another. He came back, glanced at the American’s arms again and sat down.

”I was never into alcohol before I was in the army.” he mused as he took yet another swig, falling ever deeper into the dangerous web of alcohol. ”It now feels like my best friend.” he surveyed the glass in front of him, turning it in his hands before taking yet another swig.

”I couldn’t help noticing… your arms. I apologise for prying.” the boy turned again to the American, his fingers resting lightly on the table. He reached up and traced the man’s scars with a light touch before pulling away, going scarlet. ”Sorry, I should not have said anything.” why did alcohol do this to him?! Seriously! The priest had said it was wrong, wrong, wrong and bad.

[Tobias Elva Styles]

”Oh…nothing happened. Not in the mood at the moment.”[/b]

It did not appear that nothing happened between the boy and the femme, but the officer did not want to pry too much into it- especially if the boy did not want to. He watched once again as the boy nervously left the table to purchase another drink. By the looks of it, the alcohol was starting to affect him a bit- but it was the young man's choice, not Toby's. He had no room to talk.

He watched as the the lad drunk some, then converse about how the bitter taste never suited him- well it never suited anyone. Especially Tobias.

"No need to feel bad- I was the same. War changes you, maybe for the best or the worst."

Those words rung true. War changed Tobias on many foundations- and life away from home. Being now a lone man in the world did held a grip on his heart. He wanted someone, but enjoyed solitude, or he thinks he does.

”I couldn’t help noticing… your arms. I apologise for prying.” [/i]

Tobias completely forgot about his arms, well except when he catches an eye or when the stitching itches, or when he picks at the black crochet on his skin. It hurts, it leaves painful memories but that is what his life is- like a annoying, itchy stitch. Suddenly, the American felt a light caress on one of his scars. It caught him off guard, resulting in a shiver running up his spine. It was not a bad thing, nor was it a good thing- it confused the man. He wondered why he allowed this man to touch him like that, but not others. Of course, many saw his arms and pitied him, but never touch him. Well, he wouldn't allow it- not even curious children.

"No, no. It's fine. Normally no one would touch them. I guess it weirds them out. I don't blame them. But even then, I never would allow anyone to touch me. But you're fine."

He was starting to enjoy the touch, something warmed inside of his being. Toby wanted Stephen's fingers to lick the skin once more, he was starting to long for it. But no! This is strange, was he like this? Gathering attraction for his own sex. So much was whirling through his mind, but his face never showed it- he was not the one to escape a confusing situation. He had to figure it out and to understand where he stood.

[Stephen Colly]

The man was more alike Stephen then he probably knew. How funny that two people who lived hundreds of thousands of miles away from one another, had similar dislikes and likes. Odd how fate seemed to intervene. It could have been another man who had come to sit down by him, or another pub. But it was this man and this same pub. Very strange.


It was in that moment, when he had touched him, that Stephen had an inkling – especially after: "No, no. It's fine. Normally no one would touch them. I guess it weirds them out. I don't blame them. But even then, I never would allow anyone to touch me. But you're fine."


Was it the alcohol that made Stephen’s heart race, or something…? He shifted away and glanced at his watch. It was late. Well, 20:55 – so not that late – and it was his second-to-last night here. He glanced at the man, wondering whether he should ask if he would like to come back to his hotel room – for a drink. A quiet drink. Nothing more. Well.


”I was thinking of heading back now.” he said, glancing at the American. ”I had an early start and am tired.” he looked down, finishing his third drink. ”If you like…well, it is just an offer, but you could come back and we could have some drink which I brought from this market down the road – proper English stuff.” he cocked his head to one side, wondering, even hopeful. He then stood and began to head for the door, hoping he would follow. What was this? This sudden hope, this sudden yearning…?!

[Tobias Elva Styles]

This whole situation was bizarre, but strangely lovely. He moved his arms, glancing at them. Why was he acting like this- no it was probably the alcohol. Not that he refused it, but the acceptance was a tough road to travel. Slightly akward silence filled the atmosphere of the table- this has been an eventful night indeed. Toby was not expecting to met someone who have the same interests. His mind began to wonder if it was fate's divine plan for the two to meet, but maybe it was luck.

He watched as the boy glanced at his watch, notifying of the time. Time. Slips by when you're having fun- that's what everyone says. Maybe the American was having a grand time, maybe he kept his mind very busy. Who knows but he himself.

”If you like…well, it is just an offer, but you could come back and we could have some drink which I brought from this market down the road – proper English stuff."[/i]

The man's offer was tempting, strangely. He wanted to see more on his offer, couldn't hurt right? But the sliver of judgment kicked in, warning him to ride solo. But it was obviously late and probably freezing. He couldn't allow someone to travel a large city alone. Toby toyed with this idea for a minute, watching the man gather his things and head for the door- but he paused, maybe waiting for him. With a sigh, the officer slipped on his jacket, rummaging his pockets for a tip- leaving it near empty glasses and smoked wood. Tobias made his way to Stephen, opening the door for the lad without uttering a word.

He could not understand why he did this or what led him to. Maybe it was the bizarre emotions he held dear, or it was the kindness he practiced, who knows. As the chilly London air nipped at exposed parts of his skin, it reminded him of the frezzing winters back home, and the snowfall on the farm. It was a very lovely time.

"Lead the way."

Tobias stepped outside of the bar, willing to follow the private to his resting quarters. Something was whispering to him that this night will bring more, surfacing lost passions and interests. It intrigued the American, but slightly made him nervous also.

[Stephen Colly]

He had followed him. Stephen felt slightly elated by it. ”Of course.” he made his way down the street and into Kensington Gardens. It was now dark, the street lamps being the only source of light. A few people – soldiers and women – were there, sitting on benches. Even though the weather was not the warmest, they didn’t seem to mind.


The boy walked quickly, thoughts filling his brain. He would offer him a drink, they would chat, and the American would then leave. Yes, nothing illegal about any of that. But the other thought was – what if? What if this American was like him. Maybe he just wanted a drink – maybe he was just being friendly. But how was Stephen to know. It confused him greatly.


They reached the end of the park and Stephen took a left and went through a gate, towards the hotel. The bright light of the sign was another source of light as Stephen opened the door. They made their way through the lobby, past the welcome desk and up the stairs. After a while, they reached room Number 32. Stephen took out a key and opened the door, holding it open for the American.


The room had a fireplace in it, a sofa, and a table and chairs. The room was elegantly decorated. Through one door was a bedroom with a double bed, and off another door was a bathroom with a bath and loo and sink.


”I have some nice friends in nice places. This is my friend’s old room.” Stephen smiled and walked over to the cabinet. Yes, Henry’s room. Henry who was now dead. A pang hit him but he shrugged it off, the man was dead. He took out a glass bottle of alcohol. ”Not really sure what it is…” he took out two glasses. ”Please sit.” he nodded to the sofa. He came and sat on a chair, filling up the glasses and handing one to the American. ”Cheers.” he said, smiling and taking a swig.

[Tobias Elva Styles]

The officer followed the lad into the dim streets. He remained silent as the cold clinched his mouth closed. He was used to this weather, he grew up to the feeling in his bones.

As the two continued walking, he saw men with women resting together on benches. Some where huddled, others more spaced out. It seemed a bit strange to Toby, he didn't know why- American society would not glance twice at the sight. It was praised in a bias way, forcing many other loves to be shielded from prying eyes. Tobias releaed a wisp of cold air as Stephen rounded a corner, entering through a metal gate. The building held a strange air around it, a bit unnerving- but maybe because it was dark.

The Anerican remain close to the boy's heels, noticing the clerk give a strange glance. Maybe he sensed something bizarre about two men hastily treading to a room- hopefully not.

As he met Stephen at the door, his heart began racing once more, why was it doing that? He could feel his pulse quicken in his throat. Tobias clinched his fists as he tried to calm himself, it had to be the buzz he was having. As Toby entered the room, his eyes caught sight of the splendor of the room. It was not comparible to the smaller room he obtained. Of course being an officer, he would think that he would recieve a better accomidation, maybe they were pinching peenies for the war- makes since.

Tobias closed and locked the door as Stephen entered the room. He allowed his eyes to take in the sight once more before sitting down on one of the lavish sofas. The officer pondered on how one of such a low rank, could possibly be able to have such a room. He wanted to ask, it was a thought- but it was cut off temporarily when the private handed him a smaller glass of alcohol. Toby accepted it, taking a few sips of the sweet, yet poignent taste.

"This is a very nice room, I wonder how you were able to obtain it."

The man shifted a bit on the sofa, getting more comfortable. He continued to take measured sips from the glass- really watching out on his intake.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen had not noticed the clerk. Perhaps he should have. But his feelings were that there were many people in London and him recognising them in the dim light of the lobby area when hundreds of people passed through those doors every second was slim. He didn’t worry.


He heard the key in the lock and the door was locked. The man had locked them in. Understandable as to not be disturbed.

"This is a very nice room, I wonder how you were able to obtain it."

Stephen glanced back at him. ”Friend lent it to me. He knew I was staying in London for a bit so asked if I wanted it.” he smiled. Well, that was not necessarily true. Stephen had pretended to be Henry when he had walked through the door and the people at the desk had not seemed to care. Henry had left this room for him. It was a token of his love. The whole place reminded him of Henry however and it brought a lump to his throat. He brushed it away and finished the alcohol in one gulp. Bad idea, but necessary.

He set the glass down then came and sat down next to Toby. He suddenly felt more confident in himself. He smiled at the man. ”You remind me of someone long lost.” he suddenly said. Yes, Toby reminded him of McMillian. Perhaps it was the age. ”Let’s have some music.” he smiled again and stood up, practically running over to the record player in the corner of the room. He set a record in and classical music begun to play. Some old stuff of Henry’s, but it filled the room with lovely warmth. Stephen chuckled and came and sat down next to Toby, watching him closely.

[Tobias Elva Styles]

”Friend lent it to me. He knew I was staying in London for a bit so asked if I wanted it.” [/i]

That was understandable. It was good to have friends with connections. Toby wished that he had more, maybe if he wasn't so closed off and aloof- only showing up with a briefing or a mission, just maybe he would have those connections. But it doesn't matter, by the sounds of it, the war is playing to the allies favor- which is good, many would be able to return to their lives.

The American continued to take gulps from the glass of alcohol, he watched as Stephen finished off his glass, taking his residence next to him. Not that Tobias minded, it was better than to watch someone standing the whole time.

”You remind me of someone long lost.”[/i]

Hmm- that got Toby's mind flowing. Who was this "long lost person", and did he hold a positive stature in the boy's life? But this private reminded him also of Martin, his deceased twin. The jovial, innocent child played in Toby's mind- so young, yet lost his life before he could enjoy it. All at the hand of Toby. But it was an accident something that was not supposed to happen, but neither was he supposed to steal his father's plane and fly it.

"As do you also."

That was all he can say without flowing emotions, not that he wanted to, but it seemed that the alcohol made it more difficult to detach them, but the officer managed. A smile spread across the lad's face. He had a nice smile, something to compliment the adoring personality. He heard the boy talk about playing music, not that Toby would mind. As Stephen played the record, Chopin's Ballade No. 1 filled the air. It was haunting yet beautiful. Something Tobias actually enjoyed when Edwin would play Chopin, Bach, and others on his old record player.

He watched as the young man made his way back to the seat, chuckling with merry warmth. he noticed that he sat a bit closer, or maybe it was Toby's slightly buzzed mind distorting things. He could have sworn that he watched him more intently than before, it made the American a bit uncomfortable, but he kept that to himself, busying his eyes for a minute before looking back the the private. Something was in his eyes, but because of the slight dimness of the foyer, it was difficult to tell.

[Stephen Colly]

So he reminded Toby of someone aswell. Funny. Such a big world yet here they were. Very strange indeed. It made Stephen smile broader still. ”What a coincidence!” he exclaimed, raising his eyebrows. He hoped that person was a good person, and had been thought of as good in Toby’s eyes. For Stephen hoped he, himself, was a “good” person. How could one define “good” though? Surely a matter of opinion….

As Chopin filled the room, Stephen relaxed even more, closing his eyes and humming along. He liked it, like the sound, now that it had gone on for a bit longer. The room was warm, filled with music, he was happy. He also wanted to find out where this man stood… in terms of…well….

The most likely way to get that information out of him was to ask. ”You have a girl back home?” he rested his head against the back of the sofa and turned it towards Toby, one hand lightly over the back of the sofa, near Toby’s shoulder, the other hanging low with the empty glass by his legs. He was suddenly more confident and feeling more… more open about everything. ”I don’t. No, not for me.” he shrugged and chuckled.

(sorry it is short!)

[Tobias Elva Styles]

Toby chuckled a bit at the exclamation of it being a coincidence. It was, in it's very strange way. For a moment, the officer was lost in good memories- memories of him and his brother pretending to be royalty in the courts, the music just influenced the boys in a good way. He could remember his father being the king, other times the jester. It was all a good time, oh how he would hold those memories dear.

The still of the room was not at all uncomfortable or awkward- it was quite relaxing. Warming even, something oddly taking the romantic prose. But Toby payed it no mind- he just felt content all over. How he wished he could be like this for a bit longer, not having to look over his shoulder for any enemy aircrafts of bullets hailing the skies. Being a flight officer was very nerve-wrecking and brought some bad seeds. He would not recommend anyone to it, but that's their choice. Quite honestly, he hated it- detested it even. But this was not the place for that, he was in the presence of another.

”You have a girl back home?”[/i]

That question was very bold. No one has asked Toby about his personal life, especially being an officer, it was wall regulations and stiffness. Tobias relaxed a bit on the couch, letting the feeling take him in. He let out a sigh, eying his quarter full glass- playing with the rim with his calloused thumb.

"No I do not. Never was interested in having one, strangely enough."

Guess being around males for most of his life he grew accustomed to them. Of course here or there he kissed of fooled around with a female, but it did not give him the thrill, as did other males his age. He could never understand the hype of it all. But he kept that silent and to himself.

"Interesting that you feel the same way- I saw you with that woman at the bar."

Yes, Toby remembers. Where he was sitting allowed him to view the men's room. It was a bit invasive, but it allowed the American to see Stephen and his run-in with the lady. Toby never asked how he felt about it, but something told him that the boy was not comfortable about it.

"I honestly don't know where I stand. I don't mind the touch of a woman, but it never gives me any feelings. If you can understand- nor have I ever been with a man."

((it is quite alright, it is a very good topic though. c:))

[Stephen Colly]

The boldness must be the alcohol. Well, Stephen would put it down to the alcohol if they ever saw each other again and if the evening went the wrong way.

Ah. So he did not have one. And wasn’t interested in having one?! No way. Could this man be like him? And he had seen him at the bar with that women. ”Yes, I… I just…” he fumbled for words.

” Its wrong. The feeling I have… I was told so.” he bit his lip, looking away and down at his empty glass. He reached to re-fill it once more. ”I just can’t fucking help it.” he suddenly said, nearly toppling the glass over as he swung it round towards his lips again. ”It angers me. Angers me so much how… how the world is. How we are so controlled.” he clutched his glass, nearly spilling the liquid onto the floor, his eyes sudden alight with anger.

Taking another swig, he set the glass down, his face in his hands. Tears sprung to his eyes. He felt so annoyed with the world, annoyed with how it treated him. He felt so confused and lost. Sighing, he looked back up at Toby. Their eyes met. His eyes, so full, so honest. So beautiful. ”Sorry…” he lent in, one hand shakily on the man’s knee now. He felt so bold. His breathing was shaky, he was edging ever closer; keeping his eyes fixed on Toby’s. ”Please…” his lips met Toby’s, a feeling of warmth tingle throughout his body, one hand slowly coming up to touch his face.

[Tobias Elva Styles]

Toby watched as the man struggled for words. No the American was not upset at him at all, nor was he questioning his ways. Oh how he wished the other knew that. Every man held his secrets, both the harmful and the protective. Toby had his share.

He listened as the private spilled his secrets, like the alcohol. Maybe it was that taking over his being, his emotions. Tobias remained silent, even thought he had to hide much from others, it was not his room to talk at that moment in time.

”It angers me. Angers me so much how… how the world is. How we are so controlled.” [/i]

The officer held his silent distrust of society and the world. Of course they would not understand- humans tend to hate what they can not comprehend; but the man was not looking for understanding no, Toby wanted someone to hold the same- to hold his own. Maybe. He honestly did not know what he wanted at this day in time. Tobias watched as the man recollected himself, only to become more comfortable. It was all a new experience to him, the touching the kissing. It all happened at a whirl. Of course he may have stolen a few smooches, but those were from women, not men.

Tobias felt as the private's hand made his way up to his face. The American decided to hold on the the contact, his body seemed to enjoy it- but his mind was deciding on the action. For some reason it felt right to him, he felt- complete. It was all bizarre but in a comforting way. Toby's body began to relax more as he pulled the man closer to him, allowing the glass near him to topple onto to floor. Well not that he cared in that moment. Tobias continued to hold the kiss for a bit longer before pulling away for air. The officer blinked a few times, reminding himself that this was reality, not a ill dream. A slight smirk played on his lips, he was enjoying this, but he knew that this may be the only contact he would receive from the other.

[Stephen Colly]

The glass clattered to the floor as it was knocked off the table. Stephen felt himself be pulled closer to Toby, the acceptance was so great and it gave him such a rush. His heart was beating harder and harder in his chest, his breathing shaky. He kissed him back as they held the kiss, loving the warmth and the acceptance.

But then it stopped. Toby had pulled back and was gasping for air. Stephen blinked, worried. But there was a smirk on the corner of Toby’s lips. Oh yes? Did he accept this? He did not know quite what to say. He had instigated it. He could be put in prison. Toby, an officer, could deny everything and the judge would believe him not some private from the ranks. Oh gosh.

”I…. I…” all he could say. Some stuttering words. He lent away, covering his face with his hands. He had just kissed an officer. He sat there, breathing still shaky, not knowing what the fuck to do. He turned his head away, now not wanting to look at him. Waiting, waiting for the shout, the sudden exclaim of anger from the American. But there was that smirk. He had pulled him closer. He had wanted more. A dangerous dance was being played. Very dangerous indeed. He longed to kiss him again, to feel that warmth.

[Tobias Elva Styles]

Tobias let the fact that he was having relations with a man sink in, not only that- but an enlisted man. Everything that could go wrong weighed on his shoulders, he could easily run off into the night, telling the officials in the morning about the act- of which they would label it as sexual harassment on Stephen's part.

But...

This was not that. Obviously the American did not feel that way, maybe it was the effects of the liquor, maybe he would forget that this even happened. Maybe it was the fever, either way he wanted this, it made his feel something he has never felt before. Honestly, it was quiet exciting. He saw the anguish and remorse on the lad's part. He hated to see him like that honestly. Tobias kept his silence, not of not wanting to deny the other or hurt his feelings, but to allow a silent message to wisp to the man before him that all was okay. As long as they kept it as a secret.

Tobias began to shed his uniform jacket, letting it bunch up behind him. Of course it would take more effort later to straighten it once more, but Toby did not care. It was just him and Stephen in this moment. With a sigh, the officer turned the boy's head back to him, holding a soft, reassuring gaze him his glossy eyes.

"Look I am not upset about this, and I don't want you to be upset either. If you are worrying about me telling, I am not. I would only harm my reputation and yours."

Toby's voice softly drifted. It held pure masculinity, but also gentleness. He gently grasped the man's face with both hands, keeping his eyes lock on the other- before granting another kiss to the private, this time a bit deeper.

((yeah, about to go in my box of emotions now. excuse me.))