And When He Gets to Heaven ( Liesl )

[Liesl Von Stauffenberg]

Liesl looked at John, confusion written clearly across her face when he stated that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to find someone in New York. She felt a warm feeling in her stomach-- a small smile crossing her lips for a second....Stop it. warned a voice in her head. The instant it said that her smile disappeared. She swallowed dryly as John continued to talk. After a couple minutes of silence John spoke again.

She felt his gaze on her, hearing his suggestions about staying or her leaving with him...both suggestions seemed near to impossible. She choked a bit, "Why?" she murmured faintly. Her gaze slowly meeting his, "Why?" she said a bit clearer, sensing the tears threaten to spill down her face.

" Warum ist es. ..when es kommt zu Ihnen ich scheine zu zerbröckeln? Ist die Strafe von diesem Gott, dass ich meinem Land nicht gehorcht habe, und hat dem Feind meines Landes geholfen? Oder ist es, weil ich scheine, für den Feind meines Landes zu fallen..." she said in a breathy tone, feeling her cheek burn a bit, " Vielleicht will ich Sie zu bleiben oder wenigstens. ..wish für das unmögliche. Aber jetzt kann ich nicht--ich weiß wo je Sie gehen ich nicht kann folgen. ..It Abschüsse, die mich, der weiß, dass jeder Moment mit Ihnen ausgegeben hat, sind kostbar..."
Liesl looked up at John a smile wavering on her lips, " Sie haben mich zweimal gefunden. ..I kann fragen nichts mehr von Ihnen..."

Her gaze dropped to John's hand and hesitantly grasped it, "But..." she paused for a moment giving his hand a gentle squeeze, " Wie werde ich wissen, dass Sie das wieder machen können? Und wie ich wird, kennen Sie, dass ich Sie wieder sehen würde. ..even..." her voice broke slightly, "Even when prayers aren't enough?" she murmured unable to look John in the face as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

She cupped her free hand to her mouth hiding her reddened face as tears continued to run down her cheeks. She didn't want John to see her cry...frankly, Liesl wasn't the type of girl that would sit there and cry about how hard a challenge was, but when it came to John she didn't know what to do with herself. Her head screamed telling her how wrong this was to fall for the enemy of Germany and that this was the very reason she never should have grown attached to this soldier....and yet she did. She didn't every second she had with John, "O-of all people...why do you have to give me so much trouble?" she said as more of a joke.

She quickly turned away, letting go of John's hand in the process. She continuously wiped her face vigorously trying to stop the over flow of tears that were spilling from her eyes; Stop! Stop! Stop! she scolded herself.

Translations:

Warum ist es. ..when es kommt zu Ihnen ich scheine zu zerbröckeln? Ist die Strafe von diesem Gott, dass ich meinem Land nicht gehorcht habe, und hat dem Feind meines Landes geholfen? Oder ist es, weil ich scheine, für den Feind meines Landes zu fallen... -- Why is it...when it comes to you I seem to crumble? Is this God's punishment that I disobeyed my country and helped the enemy of my country? Or is it because I seem to be falling for the enemy of my country...

Vielleicht will ich Sie zu bleiben oder wenigstens. ..wish für das unmögliche. Aber jetzt kann ich nicht--ich weiß wo je Sie gehen ich nicht kann folgen. ..It Abschüsse, die mich, der weiß, dass jeder Moment mit Ihnen ausgegeben hat, sind kostbar... -- Perhaps I want you to stay or at least...wish for the impossible. But now, I can't--I know where ever you go I can not follow...It kills me knowing that every moment spent with you is precious...

Sie haben mich zweimal gefunden. ..I kann fragen nichts mehr von Ihnen... -- You found me twice(counting the first time they met)...I can't ask anything more of you...

wie wird ich weiß, dass Sie das wieder machen können? Wie werde ich wissen, dass ich Sie wieder sehen kann, wenn ebene Gebete nicht genug sind? -- How will I know you can do that again? How will I know that I can see you again when even prayers aren't enough??

(Now Liesl is an emotional wreck yaaayyy lol jk XD)

[2nd Lt. John P. McCreary]

( OOC: Sorry for the delay! )

The smile on Liesl’s face didn’t go unnoticed by John. He wondered…did she have feelings for him? He had not forgotten how they had parted. And she had written to him, as she promised. If he did survive the war, he couldn’t go on living as if nothing changed. He couldn’t go back to his family and settle down and marry anyone—because if he did, he’d only be thinking of Liesl. Each time he looked at his wife, he’d see her. This wasn’t fair…

His blue eyes flickered to hers as she spoke again, albeit softly. Then she began to cry, asking if she was being punished for helping him. His heart sank, and he tore his eyes away, thinking that she regretted their meeting. Perhaps she was right to. But he could never bring himself to regret their meeting, or developing feelings for her—the enemy. She wasn’t his enemy. She wasn’t trying to kill him. She had saved him—she was what he thought of while the shells were flying. He thought of whether or not he would see her again, or whether or not he’d be able to write another letter. No, she was not his enemy.

His gaze immediately met hers when she said that she might be falling for him. When she smiled at him, he instantly returned the gesture, unable to say anything in response at the moment. She took his hand and he impulsively glanced down at their joined hands as she spoke before looking up at her again. “You don’t have to ask. No matter what happens, Liesl, I am going to find a way back to you…” When she asked him how he would do that when prayer wasn’t enough, he answered, “Trust me. You have to trust me.”

He saw her start crying again and he raised his hand to her cheek. He smiled wanly at her comment about him giving her trouble. “When this is over it won’t even matter anymore. We won’t be…enemies. But I’ve never seen you as my enemy.” He lowered his hand when she pulled her hand back from his. When she started crying again, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her. “I know things will be different soon…” Things had to change when this was over. If they didn’t, then what had he given up what were to be the best years of his life for?

[Liesl Von Stauffenberg]

"J-John..." she said brokenly, "H-how?" she said still not fully sure how they would even meet again. Liesl swallowed back a sob, trying to keep herself composed. She felt herself grow cold hearing John tell her to trust him. It seemed as if he was echoing her when they first had to depart, Is he... she couldn't even finish her sentence. Her gaze dropped visibly showing that she was still unsure whether to believe him or not. In truth Liesl didn't want to lose John...obviously being on the side of the Germans, no one spoke of the Allied advancements only German victories, propaganda and speeches by the Fuhrer.

When John placed his hand against her cheek; Liesl felt all her worries seem to melt away just with a simple gesture. By the time John had mentioned that he never saw her as his enemy she had already turned away unable to stop the tears that were running down her face. Stop Stop she repeated constantly in her head; trying to command herself to stop. Why of all times did she have to break down in tears was in front of John? She cursed herself lightly thinking this was the worse time for him to see her crumble to pieces in front of him. But, in all honesty...no matter what it was John was the only thing she couldn't fake a smile with.

The only one who she could not force herself to say that everything would be ok nor push her feelings aside and hide behind a hypothetical mask so she wouldn't get hurt. So many years she was building some sort of wall to protect herself from this...and all it took was one American soldier to break it down. In a way she guessed she should be thankful for that...but Liesl never imagined how bad it hurt at the thought of losing John. No matter how much Liesl tried to avoid that...she knew that in moments...this would be the last time she might be with him.

As Liesl began to lose herself in thought again, she felt John's arms suddenly around her. She jerked a bit out of surprise; looking up at him with a tear streaked face as he stated that things will be different soon. A bitter sweet smile tugged at her lips slightly, as she turned to face John, "I-I know..."she said taking his hand again, "B-But...", her voice shook, "What if..." she bit her lip slightly.

"What if this is the last time I'll see you again?" she forced.

Her eyes searched for his, trying to put a smile on her face as if she knew that everything was going to be ok, "Ich befürchte, dass ich nie Ihre Hand gegen meine Backe fühlen werde..." she said simultaneously pressing his hand against her reddened cheek, "Ich weiß, dass es ein hoffnungsloser Wunsch ist. ..but, ich nicht will Sie, zu gehen! Wenn es nur eine vom Schicksal bestimmte Person gibt; ich will ihn, Sie zu sein..." she paused, "I'm scared..." she began again quietly, "I don't want to lose you John."

Translation:

Ich befürchte, dass ich nie Ihre Hand gegen meine Backe fühlen werde... -- I fear that I'll never feel your hand against my cheek...

Ich weiß, dass es ein hoffnungsloser Wunsch ist. ..but, ich nicht will Sie, zu gehen! Wenn es nur eine vom Schicksal bestimmte Person gibt; ich will ihn, Sie zu sein... -- I know it's a hopeless wish...but, I don't want you to go! If there is just one fated person; I want him to be you...

(It's ok John! This thread is messing with my feels a lot. ;A; (in a good way XD) ....I promise my next post will be less cheesey XD)

[2nd Lt. John P. McCreary]

( OOC: Gaaah this is long overdue. I'm sorry . XD This is so sad--and it's okay, I liked it XD )

“I don’t know…” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. It was true—he couldn’t guarantee that they would see each other again. “But we thought that…that it was the end last time, and it wasn’t. We have to…we have to have faith that we will.” he insisted, trying to convince himself as well as her that he would be fine. John couldn’t ever claim that he was fearless. He had been afraid going into combat for the first time, and although he didn’t think about it as much in his subsequent experiences, that fear was still there—it just didn’t manifest itself as clearly. But now he was afraid for a different reason. He didn’t fear for his own life exactly, but rather he feared that he would not live to see Liesl again.

It was funny how much of a romantic he had turned into since first meeting her. Getting married was just never anything he had given thought to before—he was too concerned with seeing the world, and now staying alive. But in more ways than one, she was what kept him alive. He was more motivated to survive than he had ever been. Often he wondered what this was all for—which was funny, because he’d been so optimistic when he had signed up. But war had a way of changing people, and he wasn’t immune to those changes.

“It won’t be.” he replied immediately, squeezing her hand in an attempt to reassure her. “I know it won’t be. I won’t let it be.” he stated firmly. He knew that he had no control over whether or not he survived, no matter how much he might want to think he did. You could be the strongest, the fastest, and the smartest, and still end up getting killed by a stray bullet or a mortar shell. War was, in many ways, the great equalizer. Each man had about the same chance of surviving, and war paid no attention to rank or station in life when it chose what life to take. The rich man and the poor man had the same odds of making it home alive.

He held his breath as she took his hand and pressed it against her cheek. He gazed at her unblinkingly as she spoke, and didn’t say a word until she had finished. “Ich will nicht, um entweder zu verlassen.“ he replied softly, stroking her cheek and then cupping her face in his hands. “Liebe Liesl, ich liebe dich zu sehr.“ he whispered before closing the distance between them with a kiss.

Translations:
Ich will nicht, um entweder zu verlassen. – I don’t want to leave either.

Liebling Liesl, ich liebe dich zu sehr. – Darling Liesl, I love you too much.

[Liesl Von Stauffenberg]

Liesl averted her eyes from John for a moment as he stated that they had to have faith that they would somehow see each other again. Liesl knew very well it was only by chance that they were able to see each other again. Her eyes shot up to his as he gave her hand a firm squeeze--while reassuring her that it won't be the last time she'll see him.

She inhaled a quick breath, her eyes locking on to John's---Ich will nicht, um entweder zu verlassen. She heard john say, leaning her face into his touch as he stroked her cheek---before she knew it he had cupped her face in the warmth of his hands. Gazing up at John inventively, she couldn't seem to compose herself...hearing John's gentle voice utter such tender words to her made her heart skip a beat. She felt his hot breath against her face... her, eyes fluttered half open to catch his deep pools of blue.

Within moments their lips met. As expected liesl found his rather rough...probably chapped due to staying out in the cold for so long. Yet, aside from his lips being a bit chapped--they were warm. Liesl hesitated for a moment, before tilting her head to return the kiss. Frankly, Liesl really unsure what to do... John was in fact the first person she ever kissed. Sure she had a few crushes on a few boys growing up but...she never really kissed one. She couldn't help but be amused by the fact this American soldier had managed to not only "steal" not one, but two kisses from her but, also her heart.

Everything seemed to come to a stand still...whether the earth was still moving or not. It was so surreal---as if she were in some sort of dream or in the stories she would read as a child. Whatever it was..she didn't want it to end.

(lol it's ok XD.)

[2nd Lt. John P. McCreary]

( OOC: Sorry this is so late! )

In that tiny window of time, there was no war. There were no battle lines drawn. He was not a soldier, and she was not a nurse. He was just a young man and she a young woman. It was no longer winter, but a warm day in spring or early summer. His stubble was gone, and instead of gaunt his face was bright and jovial. He was wearing his best linen suit. They were sitting on a bench in Central Park, kissing as any lovers would. It was an impossible dream, he knew. The chance of him living through the war was relatively slim. But for now he could simply dream of making it out alive, and that was what he did as he kissed her.

He pulled away a moment later so not to seem imposing. He may have been American, but he was more of a gentleman than some of his countrymen. He was reluctant to let go—in fact it took all of his determination to do it. As soon as he did, it was 1944 again. He was in Belgium. He remembered that they were at war, and that this night may be his last. “I don’t want to go.” he muttered, stroking her cheek, his eyes flashing toward the barn door before returning to hers. He knew that he had to get back to his unit, even if they thought he was dead. He wouldn’t blame them. He had been lying unconscious in a field for God knows how long, and the trees had been exploding around them. He didn’t expect or want anyone to stop for him, as said would be hero would be endangering his own life.

John wasn’t a selfish man. He knew that as an officer, his obligation and duty was to his men. He would get the job done, but hopefully with as little casualties as possible. He was unwilling to take reckless risks with his men as some of the more senior officers were. He made an effort to get to know every man’s name, his family, his hopes for after the war. He knew his men. They were like his brothers. And as members of his family he would defend them until the last breath left his body. We happy few…we band of brothers… The words of William Shakespeare echoed distantly in his mind.

“Are they looking for you?” he asked, indicating the Germans. He assumed that she was here for the same reason he was—to take cover from the shelling. The thundering of the artillery fire was beginning to grow more and more distant.

[Liesl Von Stauffenberg]

Within a few moments John pulled away--Liesl couldn't help but turn a deep shade of red, still wishing her first few kisses with John were under different circumstances...both probably not on or in the middle of a battle.

Her eyes focused back to his as John muttered that he didn't want to go. A small twinge of pain seemed to come over Liesl when he said that, "You have to leave don't you...." said Liesl brokenly. Simultaneously she leaned her face against his hand that was stroking her cheek, " Versuchen Sie nicht zu Zuckermantel es John..." Her voice trailing off a bit, " Sie sind ein Soldat. ..I kann erwarten nichts weniger von Ihnen. Ich wäre selbstsüchtiges Bitten Sie zu bleiben. ..as viel, als ich Sie will, zu bleiben..." She stopped mid sentence afraid she might say something that might ruin her moment with John.

Liesl went silent--listening to the distant shelling until John asked if the Germans were looking for her. She mustered a slow nod, "Perhaps..." she said quietly trying to prolong as much time she had with John, "After this...we're not going to see each other again...are we." she said as more of a rhetorical question. She bit her lower lip feeling as though reality blindsided her. She tightened her grip a bit on John's uniform, her eyes focusing on his, " Ich liebe Sie. Sie kennen jenes richtige?"


Translations:

Versuchen Sie nicht zu Zuckermantel es John... --- Don't try to sugar coat it John...

Sie sind ein Soldat. ..I kann erwarten nichts weniger von Ihnen. Ich wäre selbstsüchtiges Bitten Sie zu bleiben. ..as viel, als ich Sie will, zu bleiben... --- You're a soldier...I can't expect anything less from you. I'd be selfish asking you to stay...as much as I want you to stay...

Ich liebe Sie. Sie kennen jenes richtige? --- I love you. You know that right?

[2nd Lt. John P. McCreary]

The American frowned, his eyebrows knitting together at Liesl’s reaction to his saying that he didn’t want to leave. He knew it was of course, his duty. If they knew he was alive, his superiors would have him shot for desertion—and probably treason for fraternizing like this. But at the moment he didn’t give a damn about the war. He wasn’t betraying his country. He’d already given his country his innocence and his blood, and he may or may not end up giving it his life. He could afford to be selfish for just this once. “I…I could stay until morning and then sneak back to American lines.”

As much as he didn’t want to believe it, it probably was the last time they’d ever see each other. He supposed they were fools for falling for someone on the opposite side during a war. A modern day Romeo and Juliet, he thought bitterly. It wasn’t fair. He hated Hitler, Stalin, Roosevelt, Churchill, and the whole damn universe at this point. Why did they ever have to send him over here? Of course, he realized, if he’d never been sent over here, he never would have met Liesl. And that would have been more painful than this was.

At her words, he nodded and took her hand, pressing his lips to the back of it. “Yes—and you know I love you too. I promise I’ll never forget you.”

[Liesl Von Stauffenberg]

Liesl automatically shook her head when John said he could stay until morning, "I don't want you to risk that....John, you're in German territory...you'll be killed...I can't..." she paused for a moment raising her hand to his cheek. Feeling the coarseness of his beard beneath her numb fingers, "I can't watch you die..." she breathed. Her eyebrows furrowed forward, knowing how much the words that were spilling out of her mouth metaphorically was like salt being rubbed into an open wound.

She slowly ran her thumb against his cheek, trying to memorize John as he is. She remembered the day she joined the Deutsches Rotes Kreuz...she remembered walking the streets of Berlin on a warm summer afternoon. The sky was so vast and blue that made it seem like there wasn't a war going on. So much hope and peace was such a far cry from the little farm house in Belgium.

The walls of the farm house seemed to melt into a serene scene that she had seen from a far. She remembered walking by the train station catching only glimpses of men in uniform ready to serve the fatherland as well as witnessing tearful farewells of lovers parting from each other. Back then she didn't know the feeling of having to part from someone precious to you...how she could have known how much it could hurt. In other words the feeling did really feel as if she were shot through the chest...perhaps this is what it felt like to be shot. Whatever it might have felt the pain she was feeling now could surely compare to a bullet wound.

After a moment she let her hand drop to her side only to have John take it in his and plant a soft kiss against the back of her hand.

"I know..." she replied softly, "You really are troublesome..." she teased letting her slightly drop eyes, "It's a shame...we never got that dance you promised..."she said in a light hearted manner.

Liesl shifted her weight a bit to the balls of her feet, trying to stall John as long as she could just to be with him, she teased "John..." she began raising her eyes to meet his, " Kann Sie versprechen mir ein Ding?"

Translations:
Kann Sie versprechen mir ein Ding. --- Can you promise me one thing?