Catch Up (Nathan)

[Nathan Whyte]

"Are you a couple or…?” Nathan gave an awkward smile in response. "Well, not quite. It's kinda complicated, I don't want to bore you." Nathan stuck his hands in his pocket as and looked at the pavement, thinking warm thoughts.

"Well yeah…I wanna talk to you about…about something.” " Nathan looked up again, vague interest on his face, "Mmm?" Stephen stumbled over his words for a few moments, and Nathan gave a small smile remembering when he spoke like that as well, not really being sure of anything. "”Would you say that it was wrong…wrong and bad and that someone should be killed for loving a man back…?”

"You know what, Stephen? I've never really put too much thought to that." He paused for a moment, biting the inside of his lip. "I don't think it's that wrong. I mean, if they both loved each other, then they have the right to be ha-" He stopped, something clicking. Surely not? Then again, maybe? "Erm, Stephen, you're not saying that you're gay, are you?" He looked again at Stephen. It all kinda made sense, he'd never seen Colly with a girl hanging off his arm, and he'd heard a few people comment that sometimes he acted a bit, well, queerly. Interesting. Very interesting in deed.

[Stephen Colly]

But Stephen did want to know if the two were a couple…he was interested but if it was indeed “kinda complicated” as Nathan said it then sure, he understood that maybe it was still in the works…understandable.

Nathan spoke up – "You know what, Stephen? I've never really put too much thought to that. I don't think it's that wrong. I mean, if they both loved each other, then they have the right to be ha-"

The man didn’t finish his sentence…oh god…maybe this was a bad idea, he should never have told anyone but…but Nathan surely wouldn’t spread the word around would he? But he continued, "Erm, Stephen, you're not saying that you're gay, are you?"

He didn’t know what to say…what to say to that…? Was he gay? Was this feeling for Edward really going as far as being gay? Yes, he did get a kick inside of him when he saw some of the men around the barracks with their shirts off…but…but, he didn’t know…

”I-I…I don’t know Nathan…I really don’t know!” was all he said, glancing at the Kiwi as he spoke, ”I shouldn’t…shouldn’t be gay…its wrong but I cant help…help…” he trailed off and felt tears well up in his eyes, brushing them away he started to walk again, ”I have never told anyone before Nathan, no one and its just…just hard to think straight about it now…”

[Nathan Whyte]

Nathan whistled, a loud note starting high and going lower after half a moment. This was big. Corporal Stephen Colly of the British Army had just told him of his sexuality, and it wasn't the answer expected from your average Tommy.

Nathan raised an arm, placing it around his friends shoulder and giving him a quick, reasurring squeeze. "It's alright mate, it's alright. Listen, don't you ever, ever say you shouldn't be gay, or it's wrong. You know why? Because you are not just a number, you are a person. If it feels good for you, it's not just right, it's perfect. Too many people try to change themselves, to conform with society, when there is a much more beautiful person inside them."

He dropped his arm to let him wipe his tears. ”I have never told anyone before Nathan, no one and its just…just hard to think straight about it now…” Nathan smiled, but he felt a sudden weight on his shoulders. "Wow, that's pretty big, Stephen. So nobody else anywhere knows you're gay? You need to make sure that while you're in the army nobody finds out you don't trust explictly. I'm sure you already know, but it's punishable by death, and I guess you don't want that."

He swallowed, it was a lot to take on at once. "So, er....Is there a special somebody you like, then?"

[Stephen Colly]

Nathan whistled and the note sent a shiver down the spine of the young Tommy. His brain was going into melt down, he couldn’t think properly at all but Nathan brought him back to earth with an arm around his shoulder and a quick reassuring squeeze and a small speech to go with it –

"It's alright mate, it's alright. Listen, don't you ever, ever say you shouldn't be gay, or it's wrong. You know why? Because you are not just a number, you are a person. If it feels good for you, it's not just right, it's perfect. Too many people try to change themselves, to conform with society, when there is a much more beautiful person inside them."

He was a person…not just a number and yes, it did feel right for Stephen but he knew deep down that he would have to try and change his ways but he just couldn’t…it was all too hard for him…just too hard.

Nathan then spoke about the whole thing not to be mentioned to anyone and that he may be killed if word got around. ”I could be killed…” Stephen’s voice went suddenly high like when he was little and his voice hadn’t broken so he coughed and he felt his throat become suddenly dry.

Nathan then asked Stephen if there was anyone special….yes, indeed there was.

”Yeah, you are going to think I am even weirder and….and…well, I didn’t really love him when I first met him, I more looked up at him for advice but then….then…” he swallowed, ”It’s Ed who I like…Ed McMillan and I know what you’re thinking…I’m a loony and that I shouldn’t even think of liking anyone like Edward but this whole thing has just gone too far…with him leaving….but please don’t tell anyone Nathan…you promise me you wont tell anyone…” his face suddenly went red and he looked over at his friend with pleading eyes.

[Nathan Whyte]

Nathan let out another of his whisles. It was a bad habit, really, and something he should stop. Too many times he'd defened a wingman by inadvertanly whistling at a German. Little Stephen had a thing for big Ed. Then again, it kinda made sense, when he was around Ed was pretty much the embodiment of testosterone.

"Don't worry Stephen, don't worry at all. I won't tell anyone, you can trust me, you know you can, right?" Ask a stupid question, really. If Stephen didn't think he could trust him, why would he have told him? "Still, Ed. Couldn't go for much of a manlier guy really, could you? Word was he was just trying to make up for something." He winked at Stephen, having a little laugh. There'd been a lot of jokes about that, just not to Edward's face. He probably could've ripped any joker to shreds. And from what Stephen had told him earlier, that seemed quite a real possiblilty, really. Had Ed really gone that dark? He saw no reason not to believe Stephen, other from the fact...that it was so hard to believe! But then again, the lad had been completely open and honest, so he trusted him.

"But anyway, don't worry mate it's safe with me. Just make sure it stays that way, some people are a bit, well, very prejudice and it probably won't be that good if they hear, you know what I'm saying?"

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen listened to Nathan, he let out another one of his whistles which made Stephen feel slightly uneasy.

”Of course I trust you Nathan.” Stephen said firmly, ”You are one of the only person I seem to trust here, apart from Daniel but he is off somewhere and you were the only one around for me to tell…”

Then Nathan added something really on to his next sentence – ”Word was he was just trying to make up for something."

”What do you mean?” Stephen asked, frowning slightly as he looked over at the Kiwi, trying to make up for what? What did Ed have to make up for?

"But anyway, don't worry mate it's safe with me. Just make sure it stays that way, some people are a bit, well, very prejudice and it probably won't be that good if they hear, you know what I'm saying?"

”I wont tell anyone else, people should realize that the world is changing anyway but as you say…it wouldn’t be very good to hear if they were prejudice against…against it.” he nodded and walked a little further on, ”You don’t realize how nice it is to get the whole idea out to someone, I’ve been keeping it hidden for so long that it is such a big weight off my shoulders…”

[Nathan Whyte]

"What do you mean?" Nathan just gave a little chuckle, shaking his head. "Don't worry, Stephen. Doesn't mater." He carried on walking, feet placing themselves one in front of the other as the duo followed a curve in the road, taking them around the park.

"You're right, there. The world is changing indeed. It's are really opening up these last few years and we have on idea where it's going to be taken." He stopped there, deep in thought wondering what changes could soon follow. It boggled him really. Stephen carried on talking, and Nathan gave another smile. "I'm sure it does feel good. I remember when I was a kid and I hated, absoloutly hated keeping secrets from people, and I can only imagine what it must be like hiding this lie from everyone. Full credit mate, though, you're willing to go out for what you want." He really did admire Stephen now, this was a really big thing, and not just letting society push him down to do what was expected involved a lot of character. This boy was something very special, very special indeed. It was an honour of Nathan to be his friend.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen didn’t get an answer from Nathan when he asked what he had meant, just a - ”Don’t worry, Stephen. Doesn’t matter.” and a chuckle…well that didn’t mean much so the boy shrugged it off and the duo followed the curve in the road towards the park that was dark and silent.

Nathan agreed, the world was indeed changing, he then admitted that he hated keeping secrets from people…and yes, something like Stephen’s own troubles had been very hard to keep a secret. ”Thanks Nathan.” he said smiling over at his friend, ”Your really kind.” he nodded and he stuck his hands deeper into his pockets.

The park got closer, the tall railings of it stood high and proud in the darkness, casting long shadows across the street. A bench stood just outside the park by the gates and Stephen made his way towards it, sitting down and moving slightly so Nathan could also sit next to him.
”So, you going back to France anytime soon?” he asked, changing the subject completely on to the normal subject that was the war.

[Nathan Whyte]

Here we go. Get two soldiers together for any period of time, and talk would naturally turn to War. Nathan followed Stephen to the park bench, sitting down on the cold wood, and resting an arm on the postiviely freezing metal rail.

"I'm meant to be hopping over the channel soon, actually Stephen. My guys are being put on a forward base to keep the skies clear of the Luftwaffe, make sure our guys can just move forward, eh." He licked his lips slightly in anticipation, he wanted to get back out there. "What about you, Stephen? Are you going any foreign for a wee visit soon? I hear Italy is lovely this time of year."

He gave another small chuckle. The German army had all but given up, at least that's what the word was, and for a lot of people the idea of deployment was more like a holiday. There couldn't be that much juice left in the enemy war machine, they were carving massive victories in every front, and Nathan could not wait to go and play his part in finishing things off. The fact that after a day out he got a half-decent bed and a hot meal just made things even more enjoyable.

[Stephen Colly]

Stephen couldn’t do what Nathan did, go up in a plan, one that could be shot down easily in to the channel, the occupants could drown or worse be burnt to death…it all seemed very dangerous…but having said that war was dangerous.

”Italy, yes, some time.” his regiment was being drafted in to help a Allied village that was on the edge of being re-taken by the German forces. It was a tense time behind the lines, awaiting an order and so far away that that order could be delayed by a few days; they would get there and be mown down by the on coming German force. Maybe Ed would be there.

But then again, word was that the Germans were failing fast, the Allies would soon win this war.

”When will this war be over Nathan? I mean, how long until one side gives up?” he glanced at the man, leaning back slightly into the cold bench and staring up at the misty sky…no stars could be seen, or a moon.

[Nathan Whyte]

”When will this war be over Nathan? I mean, how long until one side gives up?” Stephen asked it quite instantly, and Nathan gave a small chuckle. How many times had he heard that question? You would almost think that soldiers, airmen and seamen didn't enjoy fighting this thing.

"I just don't know Stephen, I just don't and I wish I did. Some people are saying the enemy will give in before Christmas, but I'm less sure. The Germans are being squeezed from two sides, but they're not that kind to give in, they are just plain fanatical some of them, that SchutzStaffle group in particular. I know that we won't give up. We're made large gains in to France, and we've dug in to a good group of defensive positions. We're prepared this time, we won't have another debacle like Dunkirk." He nodded his head as he was saying that, carefully choosing his words to try and show the inticracy of the situation.

"What I do know, though, is there are millions of people all over the world hell-bent on ending this thing in our favour, as soon as possible. Our main advantage is we have the enemy surrounded, and we have the chance to train our men properly in safety. Germany doesn't have that advantage. If we wait out long enough, we'll starve the Germans and force them to run out of combat-worthy men. We're going to win this thing in the end, even if it takes a few more years."