Heiko's Staff Test [INVITE]

Moderation Notes:

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(These notes are criticism points on Heiko's mod-mark, they do not contribute to moderating the battle)[/center]

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[li] Long winded, confusing intervals between Allied, Axis, Allied, Axis. Usually wise to break it down into two sections, example: (Allied) First person's modded actions / (Axis) Effect of those actions and any reactions. You can still interval both points of the battlefield in brief summaries, but speak from one standpoint, then the opposite.

[/li][li] Mentioned morale being effected on certain troops. Recently I've discovered it's wise to list a full troop morale or break the force down into squad morales to be recorded at the top of your mod-mark. Let's be honest, will you remember their morale drop by the next time you post? Helps us moderators to remember who's getting nervous and twitchy on the field.

[/li][li] Wounded soldier: It's best to list any wounded NPCs/Members at the top/bottom of the mod-mark, with a very brief description of their injuries, something that would be copied into your next mod-marks for the duration of the battle. Not only so you remember next round, about that wounded soldier, but the member can take action if forgetful as to what has happened to their units halfway through battle.

[/li][li] No map supplied. I don't know who shot at who during your mod-mark?
Didn't see the map, perhaps make it more presentable with or centering it into the middle of the page.
[/li][/ul]

Good points:

• Imaginative and realistic. Very detailed, good quality mod-mark.
  
  
• Impressed with the communication-lines, a lot of moderators can forget to include a communication breakdown on the battlefield.
  

Anything you wish to add Mr-Brennan?
~Danny[/color]

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A few small things got my attention:
#1: As PuNk mentioned, the paragraphing was a bit awkward. You could have merged a few of them together and I felt a bit more detail could have been provided for some parts of the mark, such as the injuries.

#2: In the body of the Mod-Mark there were a few awkward sentences where you were describing the Germans hearing the Americans, etc. There was a lot of "Eastern Private" and "Western Private" flying around. I know this isn't necessarily your fault, due to names not being provided, but you maybe you could add a bit more description, or maybe even add small shooting/movement lines on your map?

#3: This is more advice, than a complaint: Mac's map was bloody confusing. Remember: it's in your power to reject a map and ask the member to make a new one.


So yeah, I thought it was good for a first try. I'm more nitpicking than anything else.


~Dan

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Moderation Post

So it begins...

Since it was not specified before now, the grey lines protruding from the buildings are walls three feet high and made of stone. They will not be easily penetrated.

Map

Staff Sergeant Bargett

- As the Western section moved to clear their designated building, the Eastern MG caught sight of them out of the corner of his eye. Fortunately for the Americans, by the time he'd brought his full focus, and the MG-42, the Americans had disappeared. He and comrade are now alerted but have no way of communicating the sighting to the rest of the defenders.

- Since the town deserted, all the windows/shutters in the unoccupied buildings have been closed allowing the Western section to clear their building without incident. However, the flipside of this is that fact that there is very little light inside as well. Because of this, one of the privates tripped over a chair left in the middle of a room by a hastily escaping Frenchman. The noise was loud enough to perk up the ears of the Western MG's loader, but he has written it off as nerves and not informed his companions.

- Mac's peek around the corner went unnoticed with only a portion of his helmet visible over the low wall between him and the Germans down the road.

- With their luck starting to run low, the Western Sergeant's shouts to Mac, have now alerted the Western MG team. Coupled with the loader's suspicions, the crew simply had to turn and signal to the Axis commander of the American presence. The Axis commander then utilized his radio to alert the men in the central house. Those in contact with the commander have now been ordered to hold their fire until the American present a "good target".

- With full view of the MG team, the troops in house directly next to the MG are now aware of the enemy presence as well.

- The American MG team and co, followed Mac's orders to the T. They are now waiting... in the dark... for "all hell to break loose".

- Following orders, the American Eastern section began to move down the side of the main road hugging the wall. Unfortunately the wall did not provide nearly as much cover as hoped. The now alerted German Corporal in the Western wing of the central house spotted the Americans as they began to come around the corner and alerted his Sergeant, who then alerted the rest of the house. Just as the third American private rounded the corner, the German Corporal decided that this was a as close to a "good target" as he was going to get.

- The German Corporal levelled his rifle at the second Private's head and fired. It was a good shot but the bullet just barely flew off target skimming across the front of his target's helmet and embedding itself into the wall. The victim instinctive dropped to the ground and is hugging it for dear life.

- The Private in front of the stunned soldier turned out of surprise and in the process exposed himself just enough for the German Private to the on the left side of the main room in the central house to get off one good shot. The bullet hit the Privates shoulder cracking his collar bone and knocking him backwards unto the prone man behind him.

- The Sergeant to the rear kicked in the door right next to him dragged the third Private in line with him inside.

- The rest of the American party quickly scampered back around the corner utterly demoralized. In their haste to get back to safety, no one saw where the shots came from. All they know is that they came from the general vicinity of the central house.

- The American MG team has decided that two shots do not qualify as "all hell breaking loose" and thus have not revealed themselves.

- The German defenders are now solely focused on the main road

Next post: Axis Guy

- Heiko "Rocker of the party that rocks the motherf*ckin piniata" Alkema

Map: img3.imageshack.us/img3/2511/carentanmod1.png

OOC: Joachim is firing out of the window directly above the one were the Corporal in the main building is.

IC:

Oberleutnant Joachim von Goethe's knee high jackboots thumped neatly against the French soil, tiny flecks of dirt cluttering the black leather. This would be the first real combat he experienced in France since 1941, when he had been part of the first Nazi spearhead into the Eastern half of the country. Now France was once again a battleground, Allied troops spilling onto the beachheads of the channel and breaking through the Atlantic wall, staining the pristine countryside red with blood and gore. Joachim was stationed as part of the armored sections behind the invaded areas, defending the city of Carentan. At first, the tiny scattering of buildings was only a smudge on the map, but was now a major strategic point, held only by a handful of troops and one Panzer IV. Luckily, massive amount of troops were hurrying toward the city, but it could take anywhere from a few days for them to arrive. For now, the defense of Carentan would rest on von Goethe's shoulders.

Joachim idly rolled up the sleeves of his officer's tunic, his dirty hands folding the wool. Below the tunic his white officers shirt peeked out from under his collar, soiled from several days of hard work. After airing out his arms the soldier removed his peaked cap and swept back his golden-brown hair, untamed by his lack of hair oil. Joachim watched as Radioman Krueger adjusted the straps of his equipment and checking the action of his G43 before lighting a cigarette, smoke curling around the lip of his Stahlhelm. There was no way to cure nerves before the battle, for all of them knew that the Americans would hit hard and without remorse. Von Goethe glanced at the humming Panzer VI next to him, looking at the black uniformed tanker sitting in the turret hatch. He was the only soldier that Joachim had seen yet that looked genuinely unafraid, casually fiddling with the action of his P38. Beyond the tank three private's helmets bobbed, ready for battle. The whole area was enclosed in a scrubby line of forestry, out of place in the middle of the city. Beyond, a few blocks of buildings lay, most of them filled with German troops ready for the immanent American attack.

***

Private Amsel sat nervously behind the barrel of his MG-42, fierce blue eyes darting out the window. Beside him, Private Faust held the belt of ammo for the machine gun, Kar98k slung over his shoulder. "Schiesse! Americans!" Amsel yelled, catching a glimpse of troops entering a small building. The German soldier brought the stock of his MG into his shoulder and gazed down the sight, but by the time he had swung the barrel, the Americans were gone. "And it begins..." the philosophy student muttered under his breath.

***

Three soldiers manned the MG position in the middle of the street, protected by a crescent of sandbags. Private Konrad was behind the machine gun, Hickelmann loaded, and Sergeant Dobelmann commanded and covered them with his MP-40. Something unseen thumped in the house across from them, catching in the alert ears of Hickelmann. For a moment, the private was about to alert his comrades but instead shrugged it off as just nervous paranoia. But Hickelmann's suspicions were confirmed when a shout in American was heard by all three of them, alerting both the MGers and the soldiers in the house to the left. Sergeant Dobelmann swung around and started motioning his hands at Oberleutnant von Goethe.

***

Joachim had just unshouldered his scoped rifle before he happened to glance up and see the Sergeant posted on the street to the north signaling that Americans had been spotted but no hostile actions had commenced. Von Goethe gestured back that he understood. Joachim tapped radioman Krueger, who had been watching the whole time, and told him to bring the other radioman on the line. "Tell him to tell the rest of the boys that Americans have been spotted, but no hostile actions have been taken. Order them to hold their fire until a good target presents itself, and then fire as accurate as a hawk and as hard as Krupp steel. Germany will be proud. I will report to the same building, do not fire when you here someone entering through the back door. I will be setting up a firing positon in the upstairs, so I will have a better vantage point and a better commanding point. Stand by for my arrival." He said coldy, and the radioman condensed his speech and entered it into the radio, before receiving a conformation and nodding to Joachim.

Von Goethe made sure his Mauser had a full clip in it before giving his radioman a nod and jogging around the front of the tank, out through a gap in the foliage and into a small shack, making sure the cost was clear before exiting. He heard two shots go off to the north and cursed under his breath, following a small dirt path up to the back door of the building with the largest concentration of troops. Joachim came through the back door to see soldiers ready at the windows, rifles poised out the window. A Stabsgefrieter turned and whispered energetically at him "Two Americans spotted, one down. Unknown condition, sir." Joachim nodded and headed up the stairs, clutching his Karbiner close to his chest. Floorboards creaked under his feet as the officer made his way to the north window, directly above were the Corporal was downstairs. Slowly, Joachim dropped to one knee, trying not to make any unnecessary movements or sounds. He raised the Mauser to his shoulder, the butt plate fitting firmly into the crook of his arm. Joachim lowered his eye to to the scope, the leather of his cap's brim rubbing on the metal. He layed the barrel on the windowsill and positioned his hands as firmly as he could on the grip and underbarrel, dragging the scope along the right side of the building before finding two prone soldiers clinging the ground for their life. Joachim's lips curled into a sinister smile, the cross hairs shifting over the wide overhead target of the prone, uninjured American. He aimed for the torso, inhaling deeply, his finger flicking off the safe and hovering over the trigger. Joachim then exhaled slowly, waiting for the half-a-second that his lungs were still and unmoving between breaths. As soon as the moment struck the Oberleutnant's finger slowly put pressure on the trigger, the recoil coming as a surprise to his tranquil as the bullet left the barrel and spun toward its target. Joachim swung back behind cover, his barrel smoking as he rammed another bullet into the action, the casing from the last shot clinking on the floor. It had started.

Which timezone?


Moderation Post[/u]

I'm cutting you a little slack and giving you an extra day, Mac, but we need to get this puppy rolling.

You have until midnight (11:59pm) EST on September 17th to get a post up. If you do not post by that time, your turn will be skipped.

- Heiko[/colour]

Moderation Post

Could have been much worse.

**New Map**
- Forgot the smoke, fixed.

Staff Sergeant Bargett[/b]

- The smoke did reach it's intended destination, but Bargett did not give it enough time to fully deploy. Adding to that, the Bargett's shouts prepped the German defenders for some kind of move.

- So, when the staff sergeant and the bazooka man attempted to cross the road Lieutenant Goethe was ready and waiting. Goethe's first shot at the slightly faster Bargett missed by a large margin. Bargett escaped unscathed but the much heavier-loaded bazooka man was an easy target for the would-be sniper, his second shot went a bit wild and hit the slow soldier in the thigh dropping him sprawled out just inches from safety. Goethe finally zeroed in with the third shot which hit the fallen soldier in the side of the rib cage. The smoke came just a little too late obscuring a fourth shot. The wounded man has a ruptured artery in his thigh and a punctured lung, he's not quite dead but will be in a few minutes from massive blood loss.

- Without the bazooka, the plan continued exactly the same, the only change being the sergeant's Thompson replacing the bazooka . The Americans threw open the windows having only seconds before retaliation. In those precious few seconds, the private charged with firing on the machinegun did just that but only had time for two hasty shots, one of which hit the MG's loader, Grenadier Hicklemann, in the hand blowing a hole clean through.

- The American MG opened fire simultaneously, firing on the window directly in front of it and managing to catch the corporal therein off guard with one round to the chest, cracking a rib before passing though without further damage.

Oberleutnant Goethe

- Only surprised for a moment, Grenadier Konrad at the machinegun returned fire. One quick burst easily dispatched the American that had wounded his loader. As the second American threw open the other window, Konrad raked the front of the building, bullets tearing through the door and window. The sergeant behind the door took one round the shoulder and another skimmed his neck searing the flesh but not causing much damage. The private was not so lucky and took three rounds to the chest and one to the face killing him before he hit the floor.

- The American MG suppressed most defenders in the central building, but drew the wrath of the MG-42 once it had dealt with the Americans threatening it. A hail of gunfire poured into one window and out the other. Annoyed with the lack of effect, the gunner fired through the closed door tearing it to pieces.

- The German forces are feeling extremely confident and morale is high despite a few casualties.

Staff Sergeant Bargett

- The gunner got the hint when the 42's rounds flew by him, he pulled himself and the MG back from the window and retreated out of the room before the door was destroyed. The loader followed suit.

- The Americans on both side of the road are now seriously doubting their ability to take the town and morale is near the breaking point.

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Allies

Eastern Americans:
- generally low morale
- no injuries; 1 dead

Western Americans:
- extremely low morale
- 2 dead: two privates

- BTB (Unnamed)
Severed artery, collapsed lung, massive bleeding; fatal

- Sergeant (Unnamed)
Wounded shoulder; not fatal
Lower accuracy

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Axis

Germans:
- high morale

- Grenadier Hicklemann
Hole in his hand; Painful and distracting
Lower accuracy and slower loading

- Corporal (Unnamed)
Broken rib, moderate bleeding; Painful but not fatal
Lower accuracy and mobility

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Next post: Felix
You have 4 days to post

- Heiko "Nice Guy" Alkema[/color]

Just as von Goethe's finger pulled the trigger the other American's head swayed into his cross hairs, the bullet slicing through his green helmet and causing a great bloody mass to drip down from under its brim. The officer smiled at his luck as he worked the cool metal bolt of his sniper rifle, the spent casing plinking across the floor lightly. Joachim scanned the road again, looking for a American to hunt. "Damn it..." He cursed under his breath as a shout in English and a deploying smoke canister were thrown around the corner. Oberleutnant von Goethe moved his scope up to the climax of the road, seeking the man who had thrown the smoke grenade. Almost as if by Gift of God, two American soldiers darted out from behind the building. Thinking quickly the Lieutenant pulled the trigger and missed the Thompson-toting bastard by a long shot, scorning himself mentally as he rammed another cartridge into the action.

The second American was not so lucky, slightly bogged down by a anti-tank weapon and shotgun. Joachim swiftly brought his scope over the unfortunate man's abdomen and fired, twitching at the last second and sending the shot into his muscled thigh, squirting blood from the Olive Drab uniform and splattering the poor soldier just a hair's breadth from cover. The Oberleutnant almost pitied the American as he attempted to put him out of his misery with a clean shot to the heart. It was slightly off kilter and hit his rib, and von Goethe shrugged it off, the American would just have to suffer in his last moments of his pathetic life.



Konrad, Hickelmann and Dobelmann watched with growing glee as their commander took down a lumbering American, but kept an uneasy focus on the building in front of their position. Suddenly, and seemingly without warning, shutters burst open and rifles pointed out, pricking their position with bullets as small amounts of sand splashed from the sandbags. Hickelmann cursed loudly when a rifle bullet sliced through his palm, splattering Konrad's uniform with red droplets of blood. Back in the German-occupied building to their left an American machine gun smacked, a shriek of pain coming from one of the windows. Konrad quickly overcame the initial surprise and squeezed down the trigger of his MG-42, raking the front of the building with fiery rounds and taking a the bloody prey of a poor American who was torn apart by Konrad's angry bullets. He then took to the MG and smashed rounds into the window, but was moderately agitated when no screams were heard. The sadistic young machine-gunner then frustratingly pounded in the door, letting out a cry of exasperation as he did. In the momentary lull of the fight Dobelmann grabbed Hickelmann and withdrew a standard issue bandage from inside his tunic and wrapped it tightly around the wound, hopefully stopping the blood loss and preventing any bacteria from invading the hole. Surprisingly the whole emplacement was almost drunk with moral, as this was going better than anyone would expected. Lets hope it would stay that way.



Joachim watched as all hell broke loose and heard a quick scream from downstairs. The officer trotted down the steps and saw Corporal Clause kneeling, clutching his chest. Von Goethe, at loss at what to do with this wound, knelt down next to the wounded German and put a comforting hand on his back. "Keep it up soldier, your going to be fine. As long as you can breath normally, just apply pressure to the wound and attempt to cough. It's going to hurt, but it'll stop any secretions from getting in your lungs, alright?" Right after he said that the officer grabbed an empty burlap sack that used to hold potatoes and stuffed it with his own spare service shirt and undergarments before unclipping the wounded man's own belt. "It looks like this bulge is the shape of a broken rib. Nothing major, just it might be a little sore. This is going to keep that rib from moving around. Put up your arms for a second..." Joachim tied the padded sack around Clause's chest with the belt and made sure it was snug, but not restricting breathing.

After tending to the wounded man he stood up and tapped the radioman on the shoulder, who was already standing by. "Alert radioman Krueger, get the tank on standby. We might need it soon to smoke out these American pigs." When his job commanding was done Joachim grabbed up his sniper rifle and headed back upstairs, kneeling back at his window and regaining his shooting position. He regained his guise on the road, ready for the next American assault. Or maybe the bastard's moral had already broken and they had turned on their heels. Whatever the case, Joachim felt more blood needed to be spilled to fully fight off this American sweep.

OOC: No movements were made, I do not think a map is necessary.

Moderation Post[/b]

It's well past the four day limit. Mac, you have until 11:59 pm EST todayto post before your turn is skipped.[/colour]