Post by Guest on Feb 26, 2009 4:46:10 GMT
Accepted
Hey, firstly, your application is very short and secondly your punctuation seems to go really bad towards the middle/end. No spaces, loads of commas and brief paragraphs.
I would be happy to grant you the rank of Corporal, as I feel you have not reached the Sergeant material.
Welcome to issuing orders!
~Danny
Account E-Mail: EDITED OUT!
Name:Ben Shirley
Nationality:
- You may pick any, but remember, you will be apart of the US, UK or Red/Soviet Army - This is until new mass rank threads are added for other nationalities.
What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
UK, US or Soviet: US
Military Rank:
I would like Sargent or any other rank you suggest upon my bio and quality
So please choose wisely, use the following links to help you choose.
UK Military Ranks!
US Military Ranks!
Soviet Russian Military Ranks!
Character History:
Ben Shirley was a thriving boy in his youth and his childhood was somewhat a encouraging one.Ben Shirley was born in Bronx,New York.He always was athletic and loved to challenge himself mentally and physically.
When he was around 12 years old,he was interested in the army and hoping for a challenge to further his life.He took military school and tried his hardest to study and pass his classes.He graduated the school and started to do training regiments before applying for the army.
He was waiting for his application to get accepted.Once he got the thumbs up in the mail he went straight to the military training camps and looked for a position in wielding the m4.
he kept writing to his family and friends in the camps once he was accepted and was always happy.After his training with assault rifles,he started training for explosives,sniper,CQC and more advanced training regiments, to push himself to his limits was his favorite thing to do.
Writing Sample:
Walking through the waist-high rivers,trying to stay silent,trying to return to the front lines,trying to survive.Going on the dry mud to check supplies,Ben finishes checking and goes on through the river.
The canopy leaves swing left and right with the chilling wind and the eerie silence.Ben keeps getting a feeling of being watched....of being followed....
As Ben finally gets on dry land,he starts crawling,checking his surroundings every few seconds.Ben gets up and walks slowly,Sweat trickling over his noise,the smell of fresh plants and fresh air,the sound of the birds chirping and the sound of Ben's footsteps,the feeling of never getting back to his division and the feeling of being watched.The feeling of fear seeping into his soul with every step he takes.
Ben sees shadows that look like soldiers,Ben sees shadows that seem alive,and Ben sees his own shadow that looks like it wants to run.Only thing Ben he can taste is the bitter taste of his own dry mouth and the horrible rations they give the soldiers nowadays.
Then CRACK went a twig a few meters away from Ben's position.Ben used his fast reaction and jumped behind a Pine tree with bushes to the left and to the right.So many thoughts were racing through his mind,"Are they part of my platoon?are they enemy soldiers?is it just a animal?"all these thoughts were clouding Ben's mind in more than 2 seconds.
Readying his rifle,Ben puts his rifle barrel a little through the bushes.Brown eyes looking down the iron sights,focusing on his surroundings,trying to solve all his questions at once.As Ben sees 3 German soldiers on patrol,he remembers his escape and evade basic training.But,escaping looked impossible in this situation.So Ben loaded his rifle and started focusing on the soldiers,ready for a fight till the death....
Hey, firstly, your application is very short and secondly your punctuation seems to go really bad towards the middle/end. No spaces, loads of commas and brief paragraphs.
I would be happy to grant you the rank of Corporal, as I feel you have not reached the Sergeant material.
Welcome to issuing orders!
~Danny
Account E-Mail: EDITED OUT!
Name:Ben Shirley
Nationality:
- You may pick any, but remember, you will be apart of the US, UK or Red/Soviet Army - This is until new mass rank threads are added for other nationalities.
What Army will Your Character Serve Beneath?
UK, US or Soviet: US
Military Rank:
I would like Sargent or any other rank you suggest upon my bio and quality
So please choose wisely, use the following links to help you choose.
UK Military Ranks!
US Military Ranks!
Soviet Russian Military Ranks!
Character History:
Ben Shirley was a thriving boy in his youth and his childhood was somewhat a encouraging one.Ben Shirley was born in Bronx,New York.He always was athletic and loved to challenge himself mentally and physically.
When he was around 12 years old,he was interested in the army and hoping for a challenge to further his life.He took military school and tried his hardest to study and pass his classes.He graduated the school and started to do training regiments before applying for the army.
He was waiting for his application to get accepted.Once he got the thumbs up in the mail he went straight to the military training camps and looked for a position in wielding the m4.
he kept writing to his family and friends in the camps once he was accepted and was always happy.After his training with assault rifles,he started training for explosives,sniper,CQC and more advanced training regiments, to push himself to his limits was his favorite thing to do.
Writing Sample:
Walking through the waist-high rivers,trying to stay silent,trying to return to the front lines,trying to survive.Going on the dry mud to check supplies,Ben finishes checking and goes on through the river.
The canopy leaves swing left and right with the chilling wind and the eerie silence.Ben keeps getting a feeling of being watched....of being followed....
As Ben finally gets on dry land,he starts crawling,checking his surroundings every few seconds.Ben gets up and walks slowly,Sweat trickling over his noise,the smell of fresh plants and fresh air,the sound of the birds chirping and the sound of Ben's footsteps,the feeling of never getting back to his division and the feeling of being watched.The feeling of fear seeping into his soul with every step he takes.
Ben sees shadows that look like soldiers,Ben sees shadows that seem alive,and Ben sees his own shadow that looks like it wants to run.Only thing Ben he can taste is the bitter taste of his own dry mouth and the horrible rations they give the soldiers nowadays.
Then CRACK went a twig a few meters away from Ben's position.Ben used his fast reaction and jumped behind a Pine tree with bushes to the left and to the right.So many thoughts were racing through his mind,"Are they part of my platoon?are they enemy soldiers?is it just a animal?"all these thoughts were clouding Ben's mind in more than 2 seconds.
Readying his rifle,Ben puts his rifle barrel a little through the bushes.Brown eyes looking down the iron sights,focusing on his surroundings,trying to solve all his questions at once.As Ben sees 3 German soldiers on patrol,he remembers his escape and evade basic training.But,escaping looked impossible in this situation.So Ben loaded his rifle and started focusing on the soldiers,ready for a fight till the death....
